Apr
26
2010
Y U SO WERETARDED BRITNEY?
Sadly she's not leaning...
Welcome to page 1! Or page 5 (whichever is preferred). I’m not going to rehash all the stuff but you know the drill. Enjoy. Hopefully.
431 Comments
Other Links to this Post
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, April 27, 2010 @ 3:24 am
:: squints blurrily at the new paint and wallpaper ::
:: begins bellowing in rage while hurling his pitcher of beer and the remains of his lunch at the walls ::
WTF!!?? WTF HAVE YOU DONE!!??
Where’s the regulars? Crazy Jack Cava!? Where’s Ed Kranepool’s autograph!?
Robert, you took down Captain Bob’s steering wheel!? …………
REINDEER GOAT CHEESE PIZZA!!!???
:: begins to urinate uncontrollably ::
:: fury spent stands panting among the rubbish, and mingling puddles of spilt beer and piss ::
Well at least now it kinda smells like the old place.
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, April 27, 2010 @ 3:25 am
Enter your comments here…
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, April 27, 2010 @ 3:27 am
Actually it looks pretty slick so far, though the post text looks a wee bit odd.
By Chaoz, April 27, 2010 @ 10:39 pm
Yeah that “type comments here…” is irritating as shit; I’ll try to get it fixed later in the week.
Kinda like the look myself. I’d LIKE to migrate all the old posts here but I’d probably have to do it one by one. Uh, not sure I have the patience for that.
(pops open 4th beer)
I just hope Sum and Observer don’t freak out. Let’s face it – they’re only other ones who come by.
By Chaoz, April 27, 2010 @ 10:41 pm
Oh by the way – you can actually ‘reply’ to a particular comment now (they’re nested) so sub-conversations can now occur. Oh yeah, and this page is SUPPOSED to automatically move to a second page after 50 posts.!!
By Sum Dum Dik, April 30, 2010 @ 8:20 pm
Enter your comments here…this is me freaking out……FAP! FAP! FAP! Butter-Churning HECK!!!!
By Sum Dum Dik, April 30, 2010 @ 8:24 pm
Enter your comments here…trying again to reply to this particular comment…
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 1, 2010 @ 12:18 am
So El Robbo, you ever going to make it where we can log in here, and put silly pictures next to our names?
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 1, 2010 @ 2:57 am
Possible logo for our new boozer. Let me know what you guys think.
http://i313.photobucket.com/albums/ll388/drunkinmelgibson/celebf.jpg
By Uncle Chaoz, May 1, 2010 @ 3:52 am
BEAUTIFUCKABLE!!! (Is that a word? Cuz it is now!!)
Damn, now I need to figure out how to fucking put it on the site!!!
Oh by the way – you can now register onto the site AND – ta da! – customizable avatars!!!! (BTW, yeah X-rated ones are allowed)
Click ‘log in’ to comment – click ‘register’ at login – put in info – get randomized password – log in (and uh change password). At the very bottom is the avatar area. Just upload what you want and you’re set!!
Amazing what one can do once one sobers up, eh?
By Uncle Chaoz, May 1, 2010 @ 3:53 am
Okay going to collapse now. Nite.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 1, 2010 @ 10:35 pm
Looking forward to seeing Raymond K Hessel’s avatar…..holy shit! Hesselhoff?!?!?! OMFG that’s hilarious!!
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 4, 2010 @ 9:26 pm
Looking forward to seeing Raymond K Hessel’s avatar…..holy shit! Hesselhoff?!?!?! OMFG that’s hilarious!!
Well here it is.
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 4, 2010 @ 9:31 pm
New better site logo idea.
http://i313.photobucket.com/albums/ll388/drunkinmelgibson/starfucker_Logo-2.jpg
By Sum Dum Dik, May 4, 2010 @ 10:03 pm
Me likey……
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 4, 2010 @ 10:15 pm
Thanks Sum.
Here is your old avi in case you missed my last post of it.
http://i313.photobucket.com/albums/ll388/drunkinmelgibson/sumdum.jpg
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 4, 2010 @ 10:54 pm
Or if you feel like being a cunt, you might as well be a SUPERCUNT.
http://i313.photobucket.com/albums/ll388/drunkinmelgibson/supercunt.jpg
By Sum Dum Dik, May 4, 2010 @ 11:47 pm
I’m just going through my “possible Avatars” photos……..just to mix it up a bit. Vote on your favorite! Did you see the “lips”? I’ll repost if you dident…..
By Sum Dum Dik, May 4, 2010 @ 11:51 pm
Hey HEY Hey!
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 5, 2010 @ 12:06 am
Yes I saw the lips avatar. It was a wee bit disturbing.
Is the new one Fat Albert!? Don’t tell me they made a live action movie of that show.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 5, 2010 @ 12:52 am
No, a character named “ReRun”…..I think it was from Jimmy Walker’s show (Dy-No-MITE!).
I shoulda went with Redd Foxx. I’m not thinking straight because my friggen impatient students want to take the Final Exam early…..so I am writing it now. Up past my bedtime = HARD test. <insert sadtrombone.com here>
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 5, 2010 @ 2:54 am
I would tell them that since they are pushing to take the test early that one out of three of the students that fail will be lined up and shot at dawn.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 5, 2010 @ 10:38 am
I wish – there is an event on campus the same day as the final (40,000 people), so they are worried they won’t be able to park in the lot reserved for them……sigh.
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 5, 2010 @ 6:41 pm
40,000? Oh so they are shooting “The Worlds Largest Campus Gang Bang” at your school again this year?
By Chaoz, May 5, 2010 @ 7:46 pm
40,000? Oh so they are shooting “The Worlds Largest Campus Gang Bang” at your school again this year?
Heh, HE wishes.
That does suck though parking wise. … WTF do you have 40000 people there for? Can’t be ‘Cinco De Mayo’ – only us ‘Hispanics’ (or in Arizonan – “ILLEGALS”) celebrate it.
Yeah, don’t get me started on that shit over there… I’m in a sour mood already.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 5, 2010 @ 7:53 pm
Nation’s largest 1/2 marathon (second largest in the world, i think)……..38,000+ for the mini, another 5,000 for the 5k run, support staff, etc…… See website for a nice photo. A while back I did the 5k while my mom power-walked the mini. 13.1 miles in 3 hours 1 minute. U GO MOMMA!
http://www.500festival.com/
By Chaoz, May 5, 2010 @ 8:31 pm
Sum – impressive. It takes me 3 hours just to walk to the mailbox.
…
I like to open it before I get back into the house.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 5, 2010 @ 9:54 pm
Here’s a cute girl….
http://www.tall.org/missti_now.cfm?CFID=257169&CFTOKEN=99929554
By Sum Dum Dik, May 5, 2010 @ 9:59 pm
Here is a strange little info-mercial. The product at the very end is…um,…..interesting.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 5, 2010 @ 9:59 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5LW07FTJbI&feature=related
By Chaoz, May 5, 2010 @ 11:05 pm
Zombie Nation – a staple over here at ChaozCentral’s home turf. Never seen the video.
Yeah too bad it stops RIGHT before it gets good.
As for the chick, very cute – where’s my mountain climbing gear? I’m only 5’10″ myself so I’d be happy to yodel in her valleys.
Red hair and green eyes? Seriously, can’t go wrong.
…
Why am I with my current anyway?
By Sum Dum Dik, May 7, 2010 @ 12:05 am
Heard about 8-bit music, checked it out on youtube. Some cool videos, especially with legos. I’m guessing they are getting laid even less than me!
By Sum Dum Dik, May 8, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
OK, time for the weekly avatar change….
By Chaoz, May 9, 2010 @ 7:20 pm
Legos is Swedish for ‘virgin’ I think…
Not a bad avatar. Beats the usual ‘Einstein sticking tongue out’ (which was passe by 1987).
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 11, 2010 @ 10:13 pm
I would have posted this on the “No Posts Today” Thread but it seems to be broken.
I warned you that photocopying pictures of your arse and leaving them on your bosses desk would lead to a bad end, but would you listen?
And if I can post inane comments on your board when I have steel screws driven into my bones to keep my hand attached to my wrist, you can make a few posts with your piddly burnt fingers. So stop crying like a fag choir boy and get to work upping some tits and ass for us to gawk at. … er … I mean damn dawg that is too bad. Hope your digits heal up real soon.
By Chaoz, May 11, 2010 @ 10:40 pm
Oh very droll. Ha ha.
Thanks actually, my fingers are better (they just blistered up so they’re just flat out numb now – they’ll hurt like hell again once the blister come loose).
… sides could’ve been worse – could’ve been copying my scrotum. OUCH!!
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 12, 2010 @ 4:15 pm
could’ve been copying my scrotum. OUCH!!
:: pod person scream ::
A few years ago when I was in hospital recovering from a serious injury, my lower body began to retain fluid until my feet, knees and testicles were painful as hell. They had to inject my right cobbler with a long needled syringe and suck out the fluid … THREE BLOODY FUCKING TIMES!! I guess the NHS doesn’t cover Lindsay Lohan therapy.
On the blisters get some aloe vera gel and mix it 50/50 with glycerin. That should help it heal faster with less pain down the line. Should help with any scaring as well. That is what they used on me when my left palm got all mangled to fuck.
By Chaoz, May 12, 2010 @ 11:21 pm
Thanks for the advice! I’ll try it.
The blisters are okay right now, just fucking weird to type and not actually feel the key I’m hitting (which has led to typos I go back and fix).
When I was kid I burned the same fingers on an iron. Always flashback whenever I get a burn (get sympathetic pains in the same fingers).
… Always putting my hand where it doesn’t belong.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 13, 2010 @ 10:59 pm
They had to inject my right cobbler with a long needled syringe and suck out the fluid … THREE BLOODY FUCKING TIMES!!
Happy International Nurses Day….a day or two late.
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 14, 2010 @ 10:49 pm
Damn it! My comments aren’t showing up. Fuck you wordmess you bloody buggy cunt!!!!
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 15, 2010 @ 12:44 am
Ah. There they are. Only took a whole bloody hour.
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 15, 2010 @ 12:46 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKm-_VyNVoM
By Sum Dum Dik, May 15, 2010 @ 10:03 pm
I will have to find this movie and watch it….
By Sum Dum Dik, May 15, 2010 @ 10:41 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WCL7h2tRjY
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 16, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
Fucking hell! Half the time I go to comment on a thread I get the “You must be logged in to post a comment” runaround.
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 16, 2010 @ 4:22 pm
It is the uneasiness of the moment
The epidemic that spreads
The feast is finished one descends
The thoughts that freezes the reason
Fallen lids, gray face
Emerge the ghosts of our bed
One opens the latch of the grid
Of the hole that one calls home
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me
Protect me, protect me
We’re the puppets of destiny
Remember the divine moments
Hovering, exploded to the morning
And now we are all alone
Lost the dreams to like themselves
The time where one had anything makes
We have a whole life to cry
And now we are all alone
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me…
By Raymond K Hesselhoff, May 16, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
Anyway full lyrics in English in case you give a fuck.
The made a smart move with that video. Knowing that their fans would be people who spend half their time pirating music and the other half pirating porn they just made sure that now they’ve got their attention both , ahem, coming, and going.
By Harry Dean Stanton Man of Steel, May 16, 2010 @ 6:53 pm
Well it is official. As of two hours and forty-four minutes ago, I have been on this spiteful ball of rock we call home for half a century. I wish I could say I feel it has been a time filled with worthwhile accomplishments, but I do not like lying to friends.
By Harry Dean Stanton Man of Steel, May 16, 2010 @ 6:55 pm
I’d play the “Red River Valley,”
And he’d sit in the kitchen and cry.
And run his fingers through seventy years of livin’.
And wonder, “Lord, has ever’ well I drilled run dry?”
We were friends, me and this old man.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
He’s a drifter, a driller of oil wells.
And an old-school man of the world.
He let me drive his car when he’s too drunk to.
And he’d wink and give me money for the girls.
And our lives were like some old Western movies.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
From the time that I could walk he’d take me with him,
To a bar called the Green Frog Cafe.
And there were old men with beer guts and dominos,
Lyin’ ’bout their lives while they played.
And I was just a kid, they all called his sidekick.
Like desperados waiting for a train
Like desperados waiting for a train.
One day I looked up and he’s pushin’ eighty.
And there’s brown tobacco stains all down his chin.
To me he’s one of the heroes of this country,
So why’s he all dressed up like them old men?
Drinkin’ beer and playin’ Moon and Forty-two.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
The day before he died I went to see him,
I was grown and he was almost gone.
So, we just closed our eyes and dreamed us up a kitchen.
And sang another verse to that old song.
Come on, Jack, that son-of-a-gun’s a-comin’.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
Like desperados waiting for a train.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 16, 2010 @ 9:03 pm
Well it is official. As of two hours and forty-four minutes ago, I have been on this spiteful ball of rock we call home for half a century. I wish I could say I feel it has been a time filled with worthwhile accomplishments, but I do not like lying to friends.
Congrats on making to that milestone. I hope I can make it there myself ( 3 more years )……
Now let’s start the celebration!
By Observer, May 17, 2010 @ 8:30 am
Congratulations Sum Dum Dik……..
…..see if Chaoz can get you a discount on the GoLytely…..
By Sum Dum Dik, May 17, 2010 @ 6:07 pm
And observer gets the second-page CelebrityFIST….W00t~!
By Observer, May 18, 2010 @ 11:08 am
Finally!!!!!!
FISTED or FISTER…..
…or was that Phister?
http://www.pricepfister.com/index.aspx
By Observer, May 18, 2010 @ 11:10 am
I’m like a “newbie” to the new site…..
…I had no idea why mine was the only comment on the Weretarded Britney…….
…so I ran and hid my head…..(I wish)…
By Chaoz, May 18, 2010 @ 11:14 pm
Well it is official. As of two hours and forty-four minutes ago, I have been on this spiteful ball of rock we call home for half a century. I wish I could say I feel it has been a time filled with worthwhile accomplishments, but I do not like lying to friends.
Well belated congrats, Hum/Mel/whoever. If I’d have known I probably wouldn’t have gotten all shit faced on Sunday … and Monday.
Then again – I probably did subconciously knowing it was bday. Trust me – if you had been with me; we would’ve had a ball.
… though actually the DANCERS would’ve had a ball … or two (depending how wide they opened their mouths).
By Chaoz, May 18, 2010 @ 11:19 pm
I was wondering how the pages were gonna turn over on this (I knew they would flip over to a new page after 50 but was wondering….
Course, it looks like we’ll have to page back one page at a time (no numbered pages like on WWTDD) , but at least it loads faster!
Ob, don’t worry I’m a noob on this and I run the damn thing!
*****
Oh by the way, the reason I wasn’t here on Sun & Mon… Well, I got shitfaced at the strip club, broke several laws against nature and God and apparently defied the laws of physics at least once.
I also learned that women with kids are almost invariably hornier than those without.
Also, dancers who have never met me already know who I am.
(still figuring out if that’s a good or bad thing)
By Observer, May 19, 2010 @ 2:39 pm
Chaoz…..
…I hope that foreknowledge just whets their appetites….
By Observer, May 19, 2010 @ 3:29 pm
for
By Chaoz, May 19, 2010 @ 10:47 pm
Man I hope so – either that or to make sure they keep their shots up to date.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 21, 2010 @ 9:26 pm
About time to change up the ol’ avatar…..
By Chaoz, May 22, 2010 @ 4:35 pm
Story time!
Once there was a little boy who had everything he realized he wanted in the world at that moment. He had worked hard to get to this point and he was quite proud of what he had managed to accomplish.
There was only one problem: He realized he didn’t like it.
So he realized that the only thing to do was to tear it all down.
He knew he would keep some pieces going (like his blog and work) but almost everything was … well, expendable. So he began getting rid of the fakers, the liars, the dissers, the teasers, the leeches, the two-facers. All those people who – he realized relied on him far more than he needed (or even wanted) them.
…and so it continues…
By Sum Dum Dik, May 22, 2010 @ 10:13 pm
Good on ya, mate. Send the emotional vampires packing….
By Sum Dum Dik, May 26, 2010 @ 10:19 pm
almost forgot….holiday weekend approaches, so that can mean only one thing…..
CHAINSAW!!!!!
By Chaoz, May 27, 2010 @ 10:24 pm
Chainsaw indeed. Of course in my case, metaphorically speaking.
…
…
Or maybe not.
By Sum Dum Dik, June 1, 2010 @ 11:02 pm
Time for a little pussy to change things up….
By Chaoz, June 2, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
Pirate pussy?
Oh god I hope thats not like a ‘butt pirate’.
By Sum Dum Dik, June 2, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
no, gangsta pussy. it says: ‘Sup Foo?’
By Observer, June 3, 2010 @ 3:40 pm
Chaoz…..
….this was posted over at “The Other Place”….
…can you get this chick to play with us here as well?
http://boballthetime.tumblr.com/post/660763874/the-guys-at-wwtdd-wanted-me-to-prove-that-im-a#notes
By Sum Dum Dik, June 4, 2010 @ 8:02 pm
do you have to sign in to see the avatars? my old sign-in doesn’t appear to work anymore….
By Sum Dum Dik, June 4, 2010 @ 9:56 pm
not sure how i found these, but enjoy!
http://www.hotchickswithstormtroopers.com/
http://hotchickswithpredators.tumblr.com/post/637776262/dont-shoot-via-peyton-predator
By Sum Dum Dik, June 4, 2010 @ 9:58 pm
dammit….. how about the home page, einstein.
http://hotchickswithpredators.tumblr.com/
By Chaoz, June 5, 2010 @ 10:16 pm
http://boballthetime.tumblr.com/post/660763874/the-guys-at-wwtdd-wanted-me-to-prove-that-im-a#notes
Nice … I wish but since I don’t even know who she is – unlikely.
I COULD scrounge up a couple of exes if you’d like …
By Sum Dum Dik, June 5, 2010 @ 10:55 pm
spend some quality time here…..just sayin….
http://suicidegirls.com/girls/bob/
By Sum Dum Dik, June 5, 2010 @ 11:32 pm
Fake Boobs? Here is some very important information….
http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Squeak/videos/8956/
By Chaoz, June 6, 2010 @ 8:21 pm
Nice vid – but her nipples look well – too fake for me. I know I’m a picky sumabitch.
I’m not against fake boobs myself – just as long as they look realistic. A few of my exes had (or now have) fake ones.
Speaking of exes – actually tried to get permission to show some pics of them (nothing dirty – but risque). … Um, the ones who actually still talk to me (cuz many don’t) they all said NO with some variation of “sue”, “kick”, “cut off”, “balls” and “nuts”.
Touchy.
SO the closest I have is someone I used to mess around with but never led anything even close to concrete (“drunk fuck” ring a bell?). Anyway, she did some porn back in the 90′s and travelled back and forth between here and Cali. She left once and just never came back – never did porn again either, so not sure what happened to her.
Here’s a screencap of her in ‘action’ (no that’s not my dick, sadly – though she was ‘talented’)
And here’s her IAFD profile (she only did like 7 videos).
I’ve got a couple of her clips SOMEWHERE – but I haven’t found them yet.
By Chaoz, June 7, 2010 @ 11:50 pm
No posts today, sorry. Partly because it was a bad day at work (yet again), partly because one of my exes (one of the few I actually still talk to) is having a nervous breakdown, and partly because I discovered the ‘liquor barn’ has jello shots (only $1!!).
However, I’m not empty-handed.
I give you … A GIFT. And not just ANY gift. As you are aware of by now, I have a ‘double black belt’ in google-fu. Well, homeboy here found a nice little treasure trove of stuff.
http://cdn01.foxwhisper.co.uk/
Someone in the UK has built a server full of porn, movies, tv, applications, etc. Oh wait – not a server … five servers (replace the number 1 with 1-5).
All the porn streams out on its own – not linked to anything else on the net (best I can tell), and everything is downloadable. Rough estimate is several hundred terabytes between all 5 servers.
Bon appetit!
By Sum Dum Dik, June 8, 2010 @ 5:08 pm
All the porn streams out on its own – not linked to anything else on the net (best I can tell), and everything is downloadable. Rough estimate is several hundred terabytes between all 5 servers.
if this be true, me heart u (in a totally non-homo way of course)…
By Sum Dum Dik, June 8, 2010 @ 8:46 pm
ok, now i gotta figure out how to open .rar and .mkv files…..the learnin’ never ends, does it?
By Chaoz, June 8, 2010 @ 11:05 pm
7-Zip (freeware) will open up .rar files (www.7-zip.org)
Direct link – http://downloads.sourceforge.net/sevenzip/7z465.exe
(dl then run)
Most .mkv’s are playable with VLC player (also freeware)
Direct link
http://www.videolan.org/mirror-geo.php?file=vlc/1.0.5/win32/vlc-1.0.5-win32.exe
……
Never let it be said I wasn’t generous!
By Observer, June 9, 2010 @ 9:11 am
Chaoz is the best guy on the interwebz……
Sum Dum Dik……
Yes…sign in is now required “Over There” to see the avatars…
Sign-in has changed a few times since the “hacking” by 4Chan……but I think it is all related to the advertising sales rather than security.
Some people have even been forced to create new Screen I.D.s ….like putting a “2″ after the name…..
Life can be so so so complicated….
By Observer, June 9, 2010 @ 11:45 am
I’m not exactly sure WHERE to leave this comment……
…but THANK YOU Chaozengine…..AND THANK YOU……
….this is even as good as 6-13-2009 on the previous blog…
…and by “This”…..I mean all the Eternal Summer tagged posts….
By Observer, June 9, 2010 @ 3:52 pm
Sum Dum Dik……
I can’t remember if I linked to this before……if so…I apologize…..
http://www.freeadult2000.com/rapestories/gangrapea/amish.html
By Sum Dum Dik, June 9, 2010 @ 8:46 pm
ob – that link makes my McAfee safety-tab thingy turn red, so that link may not be safe.
But thanks for trying!!!
By Chaoz, June 9, 2010 @ 10:32 pm
Ob – SAY WHAT?
Yes…sign in is now required “Over There” to see the avatars…
Sign-in has changed a few times since the “hacking” by 4Chan……but I think it is all related to the advertising sales rather than security.
Some people have even been forced to create new Screen I.D.s ….like putting a “2″ after the name…..
Aw man, I wish I was there for the 4chan hack. I know some of those psychos and would’ve … probably instigated more havoc (its a 4chan loyalty thing, nothing personal
).
Sucks about the usernames though (obviously got into the sysop file and wreaked havoc).
…
Shit – is the original Britney post still up? I don’t think I ever fully archived that stuff….
By Chaoz, June 9, 2010 @ 10:34 pm
Ob – you are VERY welcome for those. Believe me in TX there’s like one or two nude beaches in the ENTIRE state so my odds of going to one are remote.
The odds of me not popping a chubby while there are slimmer…
And the odds of me getting tossed for “polishing the bishop” EVEN slimmer…
So believe me – the pleasure is mine as well.
I’m gonna try to stay more regular with those – being summer and all -as well.
(fingers crossed)
By Sum Dum Dik, June 9, 2010 @ 10:46 pm
programs downloaded, now trying to download a test file. it will prolly take all night, so i’ll let it run while i sleep.
we heart u bro.
By Chaoz, June 9, 2010 @ 11:30 pm
Back at ya, sir!
If you have troubles, let me know.
By Sum Dum Dik, June 10, 2010 @ 4:21 am
hmmmm….if the index says the file i’m downloading is 668K, and the download window says I’ve downloaded 1.7 MB….does that mean I screwed up somehow?
By Observer, June 10, 2010 @ 10:24 am
The 4Chan thing involved a hacking where (it seems to me from my limited vanatge point) passwords and user names were “saved” to apage and then those names were tried against FaceBook and MySpace. Those social sites were then used to send vulgar and crazy messages to “friends”….I seem to remember Hitler stuff, atheist stuff to Christians …things of that nature.
“Someone” came onto WWTDD and announced the hack and where the data was stored. Many MANY e-mail addresses were obtained where people had used “real work type e-mails” to sign up for WWTDD.
THEN those e-mail addresses became displayed for almost a day as the “screen” name. I had not a lot to worry about because it’s possible I lie about most things other than liking beach washed naked babes.
I changed my name to “Not Observer” (based on your “old” suggestion Chaoz) but somehow it was figured out. I actually lost my original “Observer” and had to create a new e-mail to re-sign up as “Observer”. I’m like my own Doppleganger.
I e-mailed people to let them know how and why to change….but much hilarity ensued.
One user has had his public info published and his business location published. Some of that came from his e-mail and some most likely from FaceBook. Another user (or 2)got his FaceBook data published and (I believe) an actual picture of his wife published.
Since then sign-in has changed a few time……for a few weeks you could change your screen name to anyone elses.
Soory for the long-winded rehash.
By Sum Dum Dik, June 10, 2010 @ 7:46 pm
Don’t mind the long-winded hash, observer. or the re-hash.
By Sum Dum Dik, June 10, 2010 @ 8:12 pm
I’m not in love, but the sex is good.
One of the best lyrics in song evah, cause it be so true. (by Saving Abel if u need to know)
By Sum Dum Dik, June 10, 2010 @ 11:20 pm
I found this cool e-book on that website: how to download cool shit off the interwebz for dummies. Couldn’t figure out how to download it.
Och.
By Chaoz, June 12, 2010 @ 12:35 am
Sum – simple version of ‘different’ file sizes is because 8 bits don’t always make a byte.
… (I’m drunk so excuse me) – the easiest analogy is that 30ml does not really equal 1 ounce (more like 28.7mls or so) but everyone uses 30ml as analogous to 1 ounce. Same with memory space. The amount of memory you actually use is LESS than what your computer sez. Plus accounting for compression, etc. – sounds about right.
Ob – I can only assume that someone one rubbed an Anon the wrong way for the ‘righteous hack’ and ‘dox’ (document) publication. Dox are never released unless for ‘good reason’ (or at least as good as it gets on the Net). Possibly the owners of WWTDD (or the author) pissed them off which led to the ‘net jihad’.
BTW, this is why I don’t Facebook and try to swing different passwords for each site I use.
By Chaoz, June 12, 2010 @ 12:35 am
Sum - sounds like your having some difficulties – anything I can help you with?
By Sum Dum Dik, June 12, 2010 @ 2:33 pm
Well, it was mostly a joke. I found a lot of cool stuff that I wanted to dl, but most had been taken down. Sigh. Just got notice I’m being sued, so I’m a little distracted. More later….
By Observer, June 14, 2010 @ 1:33 pm
I try to keep my passwords very complicated…..
…Like using a capital W in PassWord…..or sometimes adding an unlikely suffix like PassWordJune….(or sometimes July)…..
I almost never get hacked….well….except for MySpace (twice) and hotmail……and a few bank accounts….
By Observer, June 14, 2010 @ 1:34 pm
Sum Dum Dik…
ANOTHER paternity suit?
That sucks…
By Sum Dum Dik, June 14, 2010 @ 6:17 pm
Always good to hear from Observer. No, not another paternity suit. It seems ya pay your credit cards or they get shitty. Who Knew?
By Chaoz, July 2, 2010 @ 1:53 am
Ever wonder what the fuck I do the OTHER 22 hours of the day?
…
Really!? You’re THAT fuckin’ bored??? Fine…
http://www.➡.ws/仱뾊
Its the link to my Tw1tter page (my IRL one) – got a smartphone and just started doing it so I can vent while I’m doing my IRL shit. No direct mentions of work or where I live (any questions about what I post can be directed here – I won’t respond to Tw1tter)
Believe me, you’ll see why I’m nuttier than a fuckin’ fruitcake. Or not. (shrugs)
By Sum Dum Dik, July 3, 2010 @ 4:06 pm
One of these will knock your socks off:
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0907/krakatau_fulle_big.jpg
http://www.icanhasinternets.com/2010/06/pop-icons-in-a-different-light/
By Chaoz, July 5, 2010 @ 11:26 pm
First pic is … well fuckin’ awesome. Truly. Made that my (cluttered) desktop pic. I love the brilliance of the volcanic eruption with the stars visible in the sky. Thank you.
… the other one gave me “database error connection” – the whole http://www.icanhasinternets.com is down at the moment
Feast or famine – story of my life.
By Sum Dum Dik, July 6, 2010 @ 5:04 pm
Looks like you fisted yourself for the new page…..congrats!
By Chaoz, July 6, 2010 @ 9:11 pm
Hah! whattaya know, didn’t even realize that…
By Sum Dum Dik, July 15, 2010 @ 7:29 pm
OK, decided to sell my house and travel the world searching for DS and Eskimo.
Make an offer: http://www.indianamansion.blogspot.com/
By Sum Dum Dik, July 24, 2010 @ 10:12 am
Hello? Anybody still out there? Crap, I slept through the apocalypse…..
By Observer, July 26, 2010 @ 4:38 pm
I’m still here…..I may have missed the Apopsiclyst…..but I prefer fudgesicles, anyway….
I’m also sorry to say that I was away on July 22……the date stamped on the labia of Selena Gomez….for full access……
…suddenly I feel so much less guilty whacking it to “Wizards of Waverly Place”….
By Chaoz, July 26, 2010 @ 6:19 pm
I’m still waiting for the Porn Parody of Wizards…
By Observer, July 27, 2010 @ 11:57 am
Porn Parody of Wizards….?
It plays in my head daily……now….to get some production money lined up…..
By Sum Dum Dik, July 29, 2010 @ 9:34 pm
Wizard Sleeves of Watcha-ma-call-it?
By Chaoz, July 29, 2010 @ 11:12 pm
I’m thinkin the title should be “AssWizards of Waverly Poon” of some silliness like that.
…
You can almost hear the D!sney lawyers perking their mouse ears.
By Sum Dum Dik, August 3, 2010 @ 6:47 pm
some interesting websites with some good lookin’ girls….
http://www.fffaces.com/
http://www.purefaces.com/ (NSFW)
By heywood, August 5, 2010 @ 11:13 pm
Enter your comments here… Do I have to do all of the hard work…
Jizz hard in waverly’s face.
By Sum Dum Dik, August 6, 2010 @ 8:33 pm
Potassium chlorate and red gummy bear.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txkRCIPSsjM
By Sum Dum Dik, August 6, 2010 @ 8:34 pm
Molten potassium chlorate is a strong oxidizing agent that reacts violently with sugar. Gummy bears have lots of sugar in them.
Sorry, forgot to put this with the link……
By Sum Dum Dik, August 22, 2010 @ 8:14 pm
Does anybody post here anymore? Anyone? Beuller?
By heywood, August 22, 2010 @ 11:12 pm
I’m still trying to figure what the poor gummy bear did wrong.
By Observer, August 23, 2010 @ 8:35 am
I’d post more often but I’m having computer problems……
….and…I can’t say I have a lot to say anyway……
except…..I LOVE NAKED CHICKS AT THE BEACH…
sorry for shouting….
By Sum Dum Dik, August 23, 2010 @ 9:05 pm
Think YOU’RE having a bad day???? TORO!!!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/22/julio-aparicio-gored-in-t_n_585941.html
By heywood, August 25, 2010 @ 9:44 am
Sum, that is a very accurate picture of the Big XII football conference. Or as it is now known… the Big XII - II + fucking Colorado wont go away.
By Sum Dum Dik, August 25, 2010 @ 10:15 pm
I go away for a minute and a full-fledged conversation breaks out. WTF?
Anyways, thanks heywood. Glad someone noticed.
Have you heard of Heywood Banks?
By heywood, August 25, 2010 @ 11:33 pm
Cant say that I had heard of him. But, anyone that plays a plaid guitar cannot be all bad.
By heywood, August 27, 2010 @ 4:55 pm
OK, the picture of the bull is like the “Big XII-II+Colorado wont go away” because Texas is the bull and the guy in the clown suit is the rest of the Big XII. Oh, come on guys. that is some funny stuff there. Well… I thought it was funny. See the guy in the clown suit is blowing the bulls horn while the bull is trying to kill him. Funny…. because it’s true… Funny.
All right, never mind.
By Sum Dum Dik, August 27, 2010 @ 5:54 pm
Oh, OK. Now I get it.
That is pretty effin’ funny – trying to blow the bull’s horn while still attached. D’oh!
By Sum Dum Dik, August 27, 2010 @ 8:04 pm
I thought I posted something here….
By Sum Dum Dik, September 4, 2010 @ 11:18 pm
A 14 year old girl who is already 6 feet 9 inches tall…..
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38954381?gt1=43001
By Chaoz, September 5, 2010 @ 1:08 am
I can’t help but think Roman Polanski is buying tickets to Brazil as we speak.
As long as she doesn’t grow taller she’s be a helluva model. (That’s all I say till she turns 18)
By Observer, October 1, 2010 @ 4:05 pm
Wasn’t Alison Brie mentioned in the pages recently…?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/katieelizabethbrown/3158053127/in/set-72157611756894471/
Maybe I was dreaming…
By Chaoz, October 1, 2010 @ 7:28 pm
Ob – yea pretty sure she was thrown somewhere in here before. Hold on…
Back in January in the old blog Maxim Video
http://chaozengine.com/blog2/2010/01/31/going-going-alison-brie-at-her-complex-mag-shoot/
By Sum Dum Dik, October 1, 2010 @ 7:51 pm
I stand by my earlier comment on the previous blog.
By Chaoz, October 1, 2010 @ 8:08 pm
LOL.
By Chaoz, October 1, 2010 @ 8:10 pm
Hey Sum – did you notice “Cinna the Poet” in the
http://chaozengine.com/blog4/2010/09/20/good-evening-quote-of-the-day/
? U think….?
By heywood, October 2, 2010 @ 12:07 am
Ok I’M stupid but there is a poetic post on the right hand column from a month ago(from a different website???) as well.
Fuckin new guy…
Christ almighty, if you bastards where’nt so damn interesting.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 2, 2010 @ 9:39 pm
I’m more insulted by being called “interesting” than being called a “bastard”. Just so ya know….
By Sum Dum Dik, October 2, 2010 @ 9:42 pm
I noticed “Cinna the Poet”. Couldn’t come up with a decent CinnaBun joke, so I typed “boobs” into google to see what would happen.
Where in the World is Humungus the Eskimo??
By heywood, October 3, 2010 @ 10:31 am
I tried to tell you guys that I have the social graces of a ball peen hammer.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 3, 2010 @ 3:35 pm
Sounds like me & heywood need to go have a beer….
By heywood, October 4, 2010 @ 11:47 pm
Come on down, I’ll be the slobbering heap over in the corner muttering about “glory days.”
By heywood, October 7, 2010 @ 7:59 pm
http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/article_59340c35-1389-5236-baf7-1bff055eaab4.html
Sounds like a good time to restart Flip’s “Church of Whats Happening Now.”
( Flip also created the role of Reverend Leroy, who was the minister of the Church of What’s Happening Now!. New parishioners were wary of coming to the church as it was hinted that Reverend Leroy was a con artist.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SLifea3NHQ
By Chaoz, October 8, 2010 @ 7:20 pm
Obviously fiction since no religious leader ever bilked their parishioners.
…
BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It has been said that the easiest job in the world is cult leader. All you need is to be persuasive and have group of sheeple who will follow you. Despite my attempts at logic, I couldn’t really find anything to counter act that.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 8, 2010 @ 7:24 pm
Hmmm…..sounds like I have a new project for 2011. “Sum Dum Cult”. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
By Cinna The Poet, October 8, 2010 @ 9:57 pm
Nighttime again
Seems I’m my only friend
Wander the streets all alone
The lost in search of his own
Once again I’ve played the clown
Used my friends to let them down
Walk the streets just staring out
‘Cause in the dark the strange came out
Time and time and time again
I’m just looking for a friend
But no one seems to be around
Except this monkey that I’ve found
Still he is my only friend
And tonight he grins again
Something cold as pain
Burning inside my veins
I walk away
A shadow of Dorian Gray
Once again I’ve played the clown
Used my friends to let them down
Walk the streets just staring out
‘Cause in the dark the strange came out
Time and time and time again
I’m just looking for a friend
But no one seems to be around
Except this monkey that I’ve found
Still he is my only friend
And tonight he grins again…
By Chaoz, October 8, 2010 @ 10:40 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVlo5u0A1KM
Hello again Hum – or do you prefer Cinna now? (I can tell alot from a screen name) A rose by any other name, I suppose…
Been awhile since I’ve thought of Savatage. Nice choice of music (as usual).
Regardless of what message you’re trying to send with the song – you have been missed and other than having us worried, its good to have you back.
Won’t ask where you’ve been. I have some … “educated guesses” … so no need to elaborate. Whenever you actually want to throw in a comment rather than just song lyrics – you’re more than welcome.
I am glad that you are still alive (you had me legitimately worried there). Welcome back, old friend.
By Chaoz, October 8, 2010 @ 10:42 pm
Sum – I have to concede that “Sum Dum Cult” actually has a … really good ring to it. You might be on to something there.
By heywood, October 8, 2010 @ 10:45 pm
Damnit can’t find it…
“like to hear it, here it goes”…
” Hey monkey come back here with my dice.”
Buckwheat shootin’ craps with a monkey.
“Daddy need a new pair a shoes- haghhhh”
By heywood, October 8, 2010 @ 10:48 pm
OK, now I feel out of place. Everyone was dancing around the elephant in the room. My comment seems like just some noise at this point.
By Chaoz, October 8, 2010 @ 10:58 pm
Don’t worry Heywood – its just that it SEEMS our one of the “prodigal sons” has come back from a LONG hiatus. However he is (assuming it IS him) his rather enigmatic self.
Your comments are anything BUT noise.
Heck if anything I’m the one outta place many times since I don’t keep up with the comments in my own blog like I used to. I’m the head loony!!
By Cinna The Poet, October 8, 2010 @ 11:43 pm
Hello again Hum – or do you prefer Cinna now? (I can tell alot from a screen name) A rose by any other name, I suppose…
Whatever you prefer. I think I have had more noms de guerre than I have had hot dinners.
Been awhile since I’ve thought of Savatage. Nice choice of music (as usual).
Pretty poignant music for a hair metal band
Regardless of what message you’re trying to send with the song – you have been missed and other than having us worried, its good to have you back.
Fuck if I know either. I have never been good at apologies for taking my anger out on friends though I should be considering how much fucking practice I have had at it. Any way I had to go and spend some time feeling sorry for myself and then thanks to mother nature feeling she had not ratfucked enough people this year, I ended up in a part of the world with zero of the little amenities of civilization we take for granted. And when I could get an interweb connection the browser on my ailing archos couldn’t log into your new blog, though I did manage to make one post on the old one. The poor little archos is dead now. This last trip out killed it deader than hell. Poor fucker went out like a stroke victim. Each boot up it was weaker and more disabled until one day about half way through the song Powderfinger by Neil young it gave a little pop noise and just faded to black. My mates and I gave it one hell of a wake though and then a heroes burial at the bottom of the Arabian Sea.
Won’t ask where you’ve been. I have some … “educated guesses” … so no need to elaborate. Whenever you actually want to throw in a comment rather than just song lyrics – you’re more than welcome.
<— ESKIMO …though I think I already gave you enough hints…. oh bugger.
I am glad that you are still alive (you had me legitimately worried there). Welcome back, old friend.
Thanks. and sorry. I did not expect to be gone this long but things were a fucking mess.
By Cinna The Poet, October 8, 2010 @ 11:44 pm
Hang on … Did that Heywood bloke just call me a motherfucking ELEPHANT!!??
By Sum Dum Dik, October 9, 2010 @ 12:10 am
Ahhh….all is now right with the world now that Drunken Mel is back. Well, except for DS that is. Somebody pull out a tim tan or two. That should rattle her cage!
Glad you are safe & sound, Hum. Every time I see one of your posts, I think back to the events in my life that changed my course. I feel like I would be right next to you getting into the same kind of fun as you….had those events not occurred. But then again, you would have killed me in my sleep after knowing me for 6 months. I know this cause my ex tried to kill me in my sleep after 14 months, and she’s a saint! damn i miss her…
By Sum Dum Dik, October 9, 2010 @ 12:12 am
heywood – i don’t get the reference, prolly cause i don’t get out much. please ‘splain.
By heywood, October 9, 2010 @ 7:20 pm
When there is a looming amourphous thing or situation and everyone is talking about anything but the main thing in the room they are “dancing around the Elephant.” So, no I didn’t call you an elephant. Doesn’t mean I won’t in the future though. I didn’t realize that you were gone, Cinna. I just thought that you were waiting at the loo for your prostrate to loosen up enough to go pee. After all, you are 50.
By Chaoz, October 10, 2010 @ 11:15 pm
one day about half way through the song Powderfinger by Neil young it gave a little pop noise and just faded to black
Well – there’s your problem right there – you made the poor thing play Neil Young – that WOULD pop just about anything into oblivion.
After all, you are 50.
By heywood, October 10, 2010 @ 11:41 pm
“Harry Dean Stanton Man of Steel
May 16th, 2010 on 6:53 pm
Well it is official. As of two hours and forty-four minutes ago, I have been on this spiteful ball of rock we call home for half a century. I wish I could say I feel it has been a time filled with worthwhile accomplishments, but I do not like lying to friends.”
As for the swollen prostrate joke, well it was just a guess. Don’t worry. You will be blessed with more and longer trips to the john.
Oh and by the way…..Fist.
By heywood, October 12, 2010 @ 9:36 am
Prostrate works… as well as prostate. It just depends on how swollen it has gotten, I guess.
My secretary is the worst proofreader ev…..
(wait a minute, thats me he is talking about. I’ll show him.)
Hey, this coffee tastes like piss!
By Cinna The Poet, October 13, 2010 @ 6:23 pm
From the top…
Yes I bloody well know what the phrase elephant in the room means, I was being intentionally obtwo .. obtuc .. obtoo .. thick.
How can one insult a genius such as Neil Young? Style, poise, amazing voice range, coherency, Neil possessed none of these things, yet managed to write some of the biggest hits of the late 1970s.
Happily I can say that with the exception of a couple of kidney stones I have had no plumbing problems so far.
… More coffee?
By Cinna The Poet, October 13, 2010 @ 6:29 pm
If you’re feeling down depressed and lonely
I know a place where we can go
22 Acacia Avenue
Meet a lady that I know
So if you’re looking for a good time
And you’re prepared to pay the price
Fifteen quid is all she asks for
Everybody’s got their vice
If you’re waiting for a long time
For the rest to do their piece
You can tell her that you know me
You might even get it free
So any time you’re down the East End
Don’t you hesitate to go
You can take my honest word for it
She’ll teach you more than you can know
Charlotte can’t you get out
From all of this madness?
Can’t you see
It only brings you sadness
When you entertain your men
Don’t you know the risk of getting disease?
Some day when you’re reaching
The age of forty
I bet you’ll regret the days
When you were laying
Nobody then will want to know
You won’t have any beautiful wares to show any more
22, the Avenue
That’s the place where we all go
You will find it’s warm inside
The red light’s burning bright tonight
Charlotte isn’t it time
You stopped this mad life?
Don’t you ever think
About the bad times?
Why do you have to live this way?
Do you enjoy your lay or is it the pay?
Sometimes when you’re strolling
Down the Avenue
The way you walk it makes me think
Of having you
When you’re walking down the street
Everybody stops and turns to stare at you
22, the Avenue
That’s the place where we all go
You will find it’s warm inside
The red light’s burning bright tonight
Beat her, mistreat her
Do anything that you please
Bite her, excite her
Make her get down on her knees
Abuse her, misuse her
She can take all that you’ve got
Caress her, molest her
She always does what you want
You’re running away
Don’t you know what you’re doing?
Can’t you see it’ll lead you to ruin?
Charlotte you’ve taken your life
And you’ve thrown it away
You believe that because
What you’re earning
Your life’s good don’t you know
That is hurting…
All the people that love you
Don’t cast them aside
All the men
That are constantly drooling
It’s no life for you
Stop all that screwing
You’re packing your bags
And you’re coming with me
By Sum Dum Dik, October 13, 2010 @ 7:18 pm
Loved the Neil Young joke. I almost LOLed for reals.
By Cinna The Poet, October 13, 2010 @ 7:48 pm
Loved the Neil Young joke. I almost LOLed for reals.
Heh, thanks.
:: lurching awkwardly into conversation ::
So did your lady friend really try to snuff ya in yer sleep? And if so, how so? And want her taken care of?
By Cinna The Poet, October 13, 2010 @ 7:59 pm
Fuck. I seem to remember we had this conversation once already.
By heywood, October 14, 2010 @ 12:16 am
The ‘splaination was more for Sum. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yokQ0_8__ts I should have sum’d up.
By Cinna The Poet, October 14, 2010 @ 1:11 am
No worries mate.
Well bloody bull buggering hell! It seems I have decided to become completely “Paganini-ed” on most of your nights off.
Oh well, no worries. I am sure I will get back in the hang of things in the coming weeks. Hopefully I will get back in the swing of things next week. Until then I leave you with this little masterpiece…
By Cinna The Poet, October 14, 2010 @ 1:14 am
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish some one up there will find me
Till then I walk alone
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What’s fucked up and everything’s all right
Check my vital signs to know I’m still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk a
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone
By Cinna The Poet, October 14, 2010 @ 1:29 am
sigh
You have to love a bloody obnoxious text editor that decides to keep your deleted sentences and post them in secret with your edited messege to make you look like a spastic. FUCK YOU!! Celebrity Fist text editor. FUCK YOU!!
By heywood, October 14, 2010 @ 9:13 am
It is tough to get good help these days.
My secretary on the other hand is great. She won’t let me get my own cup of coffee.
Though, she is not very good at making coffee.
Horrible tasting stuff really.
(heh, heh, heh)
By Sum Dum Dik, October 14, 2010 @ 7:52 pm
Thanks, Heywood. My one and only time seeing the Princess Bride was, shall we say, less than pleasant. From what I could gather, it seems like a pretty funny flick tho.
By heywood, October 14, 2010 @ 11:15 pm
Certainly a classic. It ranks right up there with Caddyshack and Animal House as one of the most overquoted films.
You didn’t fall asleep during the movie, did ya?
Many people have tried to cause me great physical harm. Some quite successfully. No one has ever tried to kill me. I am pretty sure that if I thought someone was trying to kill me, somebody would die. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQC3nkftrk
Probably would have been me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWRbfm5Ae1U
By Sum Dum Dik, October 15, 2010 @ 7:17 pm
Got invited to a hot girl’s birthday “party”. Led to believe I might get me some. The “party” turns out to be me, her and her secret boyfriend. She gets shitfaced drunk and invites her female cousin over. The “couple” passes out drunk, and it’s just me and the 400 pound cousin watching Princess Bride. It’s her all time favorite movie. So favorite, that she recites (out loud) each and every line to the movie. For the ENTIRE movie. And each line is recited exactly 1.45 seconds BEFORE the character says them. Needless to say, Blue Balls + Clenched Teeth + Clenched Fists = LONGEST FUCKING NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!
By Chaoz, October 16, 2010 @ 5:05 pm
……… wow
Congrats u might have actually topped my worst night ever….. I can’t think of it right now but pretty sure that beats me. My sympathies.:sad:
By Chaoz, October 16, 2010 @ 6:42 pm
Lol. Nothing wrong with Neil brother man. Just that man is the poster boy for alcoholic induced depression (and I’m a FAN)
By Sum Dum Dik, October 16, 2010 @ 9:05 pm
My mom always said that the big “L” on my forehead stood for “Loveable”, not “Loser”.
That no-good, lyin’ bitch lied to me! Gah!
By heywood, October 16, 2010 @ 10:24 pm
If only you had made your move when she said “Have fun stormin’ the castle.” This story would have a different ending.
Most likely involving bleach and many trips the psychiatrist to re-find your happy place.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 17, 2010 @ 12:21 am
R U saying I shoulda jumped the fatty? Cause thems fightin’ drinkin’ words….Woe is me!
By Sum Dum Dik, October 17, 2010 @ 6:35 am
I crossed out “fightin’”, just so you know i was joking. Frikken interwebz is out to get me….
By Observer, October 17, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
Sum Dum Dik…..
I’m sorry for you….
What if you had given fatty a twenty dollar bill and sent her out for pizza….
….any chance you could have nailed the passed out chick without waking her?
…or just convinced her it had been a Freudian dream come true?
By Sum Dum Dik, October 17, 2010 @ 9:39 pm
I was too busy making sure Fatty didn’t eat me. And not in a good way.
By heywood, October 18, 2010 @ 2:21 pm
Her name is Fatima. Not Fatty.
“just slap that ass and follow the jiggle on in” is one of the funniest punchlines ever.
Now try to cleanse your mind of that picture.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 19, 2010 @ 7:07 pm
OCH! What did I do to deserve THAT? Oh. That? OK, never mind.
By Chaoz, October 20, 2010 @ 1:21 am
LMAO – sorry at Sum‘s expense.
To go off topic (as if that were actually possible here
) – just got outta work – its 1:19AM. Worked a 12 hour shift trying to reorganize my workplace (which I allowed to get into a shit state in the first place). I realized a few things:
When the fuck did THAT happen??
I’ve gotten really fuckin’ soft. Not just confrontationally with my children coworkers – I mean soft ALL the way around. 
Very disturbing and very eye-opening…
By Cinna The Poet, October 20, 2010 @ 2:53 am
Bullshit El Robbo. …. At least bullshit to the ” When did that happen!?” part. There is only so much one individual can do before their brain starts to turn to the consistency of wallpaper paste. Only a spastic would be oblivious to such a sea change. Any sane man .. or woman to appease the bloody fucking annoying politically correct ass-maggots .. would avoid seeing such a change by insulating themselves “SOMEHOW” from said change.
To wit. No one can stay within the moment for long. The fiery torch of progress must be handed to the next in line far quicker than we are ready to do so.
By heywood, October 20, 2010 @ 11:37 am
Harsh….. But fair.
Though, to be realistic, life is like dirty underwear sometimes. You know it is not hanging right. You just don’t realize that it creeping up on you until you are already in a full-blown wedgie.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 20, 2010 @ 8:14 pm
Well, we could talk about old people stuff, or we can talk about hot young chicks and their boobies…..
Crap, I gotta go out and get some more Geritol. Might as well pick up some Depends while I’m at it. Remind me to talk about boobies when I get back, ok?
By heywood, October 21, 2010 @ 4:47 pm
That’s funny stuff there.
Dont forget to pick me up some of those… Ummm… What cha macallits. Ummm. Hmmm… Who?
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 22, 2010 @ 5:07 am
“Harsh….. But fair.”
Actually just harsh. Sorry it has not been a good week.
By heywood, October 22, 2010 @ 3:46 pm
Sorry to hear that.
Maybe Sum can let you have some of his Geritol.
How’s this for a bad day? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/democraticrepublicofcongo/8078612/Aircraft-crashes-after-crocodile-on-board-escapes-and-sparks-panic.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=ukworldnews
I don’t know which is worse. The idiot that needed a crocodile so much that he smuggled one on board or the over-reactions of the rest of them causing the plane to crash.
By heywood, October 22, 2010 @ 3:56 pm
Commando Panties For Sale
Free Shipping Offer on Commando, Commando Panties – 5-Star Reviews!
HerRoom.com/Commando
OK I am now confused. The ad in the Telegraph is selling “Commando Panties.” Aren’t the two mutually exclusive? You are either “going commando” or you are wearing panties! I am going to have to cogitate on that for a while. I will get back to you guys later.
By Sum Dum Dik, October 22, 2010 @ 7:08 pm
Cogitate? Is that what old codgers do? Or is that some kind of toothpaste?
By heywood, October 22, 2010 @ 10:03 pm
Consarnet! The only dadburn thing that I can come up with is that they are selling panties that were previously worn by Commandos. Dagnabbit!
Got to go clean ma dentures now.
Sum, were you able to pick me up some of that….
By heywood, October 22, 2010 @ 10:10 pm
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
By heywood, October 22, 2010 @ 11:12 pm
Claude Akins was a man among men.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 23, 2010 @ 1:34 am
Since the word commando conjures up images of dirty brush wars full of skulduggery, clandestine ambushes and discreet interventions, I can only assume these are pants marketed for “The special lady who has everything” .. including a penis.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 23, 2010 @ 2:33 am
On the crocodile story.
First: It is estimated that there are hundreds of deadly attacks by crocodiles in Africa every year. So they are a pretty big bogeyman there. let us see how brave you are when you are suddenly confronted with an ugly, big-toothed, angry reptile in an enclosed space.
Second: Croc tail is a delicacy there so smuggling the little buggers isn’t that unusual. Why the hell someone would load a living and pissed off crocodile into a duffel bag when only the tail is worth eating is beyond me.
Third: the plane was described as being in fairly dodgy condition and supposedly had been blacklisted by the licensing authority for being considered too unsafe to fly. So it shouldn’t have been airborne in the first place.
Fourth: The plane was on landing approach, literally minutes away from touch down. That means low altitude. A sudden shifting of load weight, even a small one, can easily bring about loss of control. Ever wonder why you are told to buckle up and stay in your seat until the plane stops moving? This kind of shit is why.
Fifth: Why am I listing all this drivel? I’m sick of the western media only reporting the bits of this story that support their big “Snakes on a Plane” shits and giggles headline. If you are going to report facts, damn well report ALL of them. Otherwise you are nothing more than a sensationalist tabloid twat. One thoughtless moron (possibly two if the pilot was flying unlicensed) caused the death of 20 people. And since they have found out an escaped croc could be the cause the media is treating this story as a sick joke rather than as a tragedy.
Sorry for all the negative waves, but there are two things in this world I truly loath, unscrupulous journalists, and stupid people who get innocent people killed. From personal experience they are usually one in the same.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 23, 2010 @ 2:45 am
Cogitate? Is that what old codgers do? Or is that some kind of toothpaste?
Actually neither. Thanks to modern genetic science and stem cell research, Gogitate is the new brand name of self aware “thinking” potatoes. Though still in the experimental phase, scientists foresee that the wild planes of America will soon be covered in flocks of hearty, free range, self harvesting, potatoes. They think that the self peeling potato is just around the corner as well.
Of course this raises the fears of possible friction between the cattlemen and the potatomen of the wild west, which could lead to range wars and potato rustling. And these new “Gogitates” could lead to some unfortunate potato/human hybrids if not kept away from the Irish.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 23, 2010 @ 3:38 am
Well fuck. Flying solo again it seems. And there is nothing to do here but stare out a porthole at nothing, drink bad foreign lager, listen to my old worn out ipod on shoddy speakers that make it sound like the ghost of the worlds oldest Victrola playing at the bottom of a well, while nattering away at myself here from my mates second, third, or possibly even fourth hand, computer that was most likely built from horse dung and turnips.
sigh
http://www.schamper.ugent.be/files/imagecache/preview/images/UNinvolved_in_africa.jpg
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 23, 2010 @ 3:57 am
Oh well. might as well share a few links to brighten the place up.
http://redblow.com/girls-in-jeans/
http://www.fohguild.org/forums/screenshots/10545-funny-strange-random-pics-2435.html
http://extragoodshit.phlap.net/
By Sum Dum Dik, October 23, 2010 @ 6:47 am
Gogitate is the new brand name of self aware “thinking” potatoes.
Now THAT is Gol’Darn FUNNY!
By Sum Dum Dik, October 23, 2010 @ 6:55 am
Thanks for the links…now I know how I am going to waste this afternoon/evening.
By heywood, October 23, 2010 @ 9:35 am
“big-toothed, angry reptile in an enclosed space” “free range, self harvesting, potatoes” So, You’ve met my ex-wife.
Coming from the home of bad foreign lager… Here’s to you next beer being a better one.
By Chaoz, October 23, 2010 @ 6:41 pm
I’d like to state for the record that I’m not dead. I’m merely drink after working
By Chaoz, October 23, 2010 @ 6:42 pm
4 straight 12 hr days. And I was off today
By Chaoz, October 23, 2010 @ 6:44 pm
getting blown today
By Sum Dum Dik, October 23, 2010 @ 10:38 pm
I’m still laughing about “self-aware thinking potoatoes”….Behave yourself, cause they got their eyes on you!
By Chaoz, October 24, 2010 @ 5:46 pm
Well upgrading my blog software didn’t do much for the text editor above.
But what else is new?
Cinna/Hum/Monsters, et.al.: Harsh but correct. Feh, I’m not one to concede much of anything in this world (since Chaoz here has been on borrowed time since day one) let alone my ‘torch’. I think as I get older I’ll wind up following the advice of Billie Joe Shaver (who sang the too short Squidbillies intro)
My dreams are all dead and buried
sometimes i wish the sun would just explode
when god comes and calls me to his kingdom
i’ll take all ya sons-of-bitches when I go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C5F9uCifD4
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 25, 2010 @ 9:29 pm
Well I would post this on your actual “Live Blogging Today” post but it won’t let me comment there.
I’d have to ask how many times did any of them bend over backwards to help YOU out? I seem to remember that all they did was fuck you around and act like morons. I vote, Fuck Em.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, October 25, 2010 @ 9:33 pm
Night Boat To Cairo !!…..
It’s just gone noon
Half past monsoon
On the banks of the river Nile
Here comes the boat
Only half-afloat
Oarsman grins a toothless smile
Only just one more
To this desolate shore
Last boat along the river Nile
Doesn’t seem to care
No more wind in his hair
As he reaches his last half mile
The oar snaps in his hand
Before he reaches dry land
But the sound doesn’t deafen his smile
Just pokes at wet sand
With an oar in his hand
Floats off down the river Nile
Floats off down the river Nile
By heywood, October 25, 2010 @ 11:55 pm
Hey, that one I know. My friends in school used to make fun of me for liking Madness. But, I do love a big horn section.
By Chaoz, October 26, 2010 @ 3:13 pm
Well I would post this on your actual “Live Blogging Today” post but it won’t let me comment there.
I’d have to ask how many times did any of them bend over backwards to help YOU out? I seem to remember that all they did was fuck you around and act like morons. I vote, Fuck Em.Enter your comments here…
We have a winner! Good point. I’m fucking tired of bailing everyone’s ass out of the fire. Oh I get a “thank you” and maybe a pat on the back but really you get the impression they say it cause they know they HAVE to. Thanks for reminding me.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 9, 2010 @ 3:16 pm
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flander’s fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, tho poppies grow
In Flander’s fields.
By Sum Dum Dik, November 9, 2010 @ 8:10 pm
holy crap on the page 5, and way to FIST us all again. OH, and fuck Mondays! That is all.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 10, 2010 @ 2:49 am
OK. I am waving a little white flag here. I have no idea when you lot hang out here anymore.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 10, 2010 @ 2:49 am
I’ve got a little black book with my poems in
Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in
When I’m a good dog
They sometimes throw me the bone in
I got elastic bands keepin’ my shoes on
Got those swollen hand blues
I got thirteen channels of shit on the TV to choose from
I’ve got electric light
And I’ve got second sight
I got amazing powers of observation
And that is how I know, when I try to get through
On the telephone to you, there’ll be nobody home
I’ve got the obligatory Hendrix perm and the inevitable pinhole burns
Now all down the front of my favorite satin shirt
I’ve got nicotine stains on my fingers, I’ve got a silver spoon on a chain
Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains
I’ve got wild staring eyes
And I’ve got a strong urge to fly, but I got nowhere to fly to
Ooh, babe when I pick up the phone there is still nobody home
I’ve got a pair of Gohills boots and I got fading roots
By Sum Dum Dik, November 10, 2010 @ 7:55 pm
Same here, TMADoMS.
Anyhoo, some ass-clown dumped a dog inside my fence. Any name ideas? So far, I have:
Knucklehead
Chucklehead
Ya Big Dummy! (courtesy Fred Sanford)
By Sum Dum Dik, November 10, 2010 @ 8:02 pm
did my post disappear??
By Chaoz, November 10, 2010 @ 11:37 pm
OK. I am waving a little white flag here. I have no idea when you lot hang out here anymore.
Well I’m not gonna lie – I varies wildly now from day to day. Remember before I’d work 1-9pm local consistently, post at night go to bed around 2:30am.
Now? Well, I have to look after the circus in the morning some days (like tomorrow morning) so I’ll be asleep around 12 midnight. Drag my ass out at 7am.
I’m off this weekend and since I’m broke will be home most of the day – then live riffing MST3K at around 8pm CST.
My ‘real’ boss (the one I actually respect) needs me to get some shit down over the next two weeks before the Thanksgiving holiday. Plus, two co-workers out due to maternity.
Lovely working short-handed during the winter.
By Chaoz, November 10, 2010 @ 11:38 pm
I’ve got a little black book with my poems in
lol – already could hear Roger in my head after the first line alone…
Aw fuck it, song of the day. Hold on.
By Chaoz, November 10, 2010 @ 11:51 pm
Sum as far as you newfound puppy. Somehow “Ya Big Dummy” is the perfect name for a sidekick of “Sum Dum Dick”.
Just saying…
By heywood, November 11, 2010 @ 1:48 pm
Pardon the intrusion. What does live riffing mean? And MST3K? Is that still on? Funny writing, but that show is (?) 20 years old. (in hindsite that is a dumb question in the age of youtube)
Sum- good on ya for taking in the dog. I hope that you wanted one. At least even a little bit. I agree on “Ya big dummy” that way at feeding time every day you get to say “grits dummy.”
By Sum Dum Dik, November 11, 2010 @ 8:37 pm
Doggie be gone now….if it comes back, I’ll get a collar that sez “Ya Big Dummy!”….
By Sum Dum Dik, November 11, 2010 @ 8:44 pm
Been thinking about getting a dog. I hear the chicks get all moist when they see a cute puppy….
By heywood, November 11, 2010 @ 10:30 pm
Well, dog gone!
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 11, 2010 @ 10:33 pm
Here is a better name idea for if he comes back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD1vloK7fUA
By Chaoz, November 12, 2010 @ 12:23 am
LOL! – oh damn “Shithead”. Forgot all about that one!
Very droll, sir!
Heywood – I sponsor the main(?) MST3K stream on the Net. I don’t do the nuts and bolts stuff just pay the bills for the bandwidith ($50/month – cheap – that’s 2 tabledances). Anyway, on Saturday nites and Sunday afternoons, “the Boss” (he who actually runs the computer part) streams – well – shitty movies for us to indulge our “riffing” via IRC. It’s all good fun and for the most part – drinking is involved.
If you’re interested you can view the stream 24/7 at:
http://www.nofadz.com/chaozengine150.m3u
(use WinAmp or VLC to view)
The main/website and forum (which I don’t control) is at:
http://mst3k.nofadz.com
AND you can partake in the live riff via browser (no IRC client needed) at:
http://webchat.quakenet.org/?channels=mst3k
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 12, 2010 @ 2:28 am
I have funds tae buy me whiskey
Monie funds tae call my ain
But if I should get to fu’ o’ water
Wha’s the man that would carry me hame’
And if I be dround in The Isla Waters
Hou the deuce would I win Hame’
If I be drounk in the Isla Waters
My wee doggie would find me in the Isla stream.
Ilka day I cross that water
Aye she’s brackent wi’ the sea
But if there is o’ ale-hous laughter
Daurk an’ still she waits on me.
And if I be dround in The Isla Waters
Hou the deuce would I win Hame’
If I be drounk in the Isla Waters
My wee doggie would find me in the Isla stream.
Like the fisher’s line that’s brawken
Leaves the salmon tae the swell
Monie’s the nicht ye’ll fan’ me souken
But ye brak the line yersel.
And if I be dround in The Isla Waters
Hou the deuce would I win Hame’
If I be drounk in the Isla Waters
My wee doggie would find me in the Isla stream.
Aa’ my days I’ve lived the quarter
Baud and bonnie fine stuff I’ve seen
But should I droun in your water
My wee doggie would find me in the Isla Stream.
And if I be dround in The Isla Waters
Hou the deuce would I win Hame’
If I be drounk in the Isla Waters
My wee doggie would find me in the Isla stream.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 12, 2010 @ 4:22 am
holy crap on the page 5, and way to FIST us all again. OH, and fuck Mondays! That is all.
Salute, and my life has been a long series of “Mondays”.
Anyhoo, some ass-clown dumped a dog inside my fence. Any name ideas? So far, I have:
For many a few years I have not had any pets save boat cats, and frankly boat cats are hard to consider true pets. Sadly I can count the amount of true human life friends on even less fingers. That said, if your somewhat absent canine comes home again, do your best to make him feel at home as I feel we humans do so little to make our furry friends feel truly appreciated these days. At the risk of our own humanity, if that makes any sense.
Well I’m not gonna lie – I varies wildly now from day to day. Remember before I’d work 1-9pm local consistently, post at night go to bed around 2:30am.Now? Well, I have to look after the circus in the morning some days (like tomorrow morning) so I’ll be asleep around 12 midnight. Drag my ass out at 7am.
My apologies. I did not mean it to sound as if you lot were slacking, simply that my own profession has left me far out of sync, and far out of touch.
Pardon the intrusion. What does live riffing mean? And MST3K? Is that still on? Funny writing, but that show is (?) 20 years old. (in hindsite that is a dumb question in the age of youtube)
Heywood. In the short time I have known you I have to say you are truly Celebrityfist material, but if you seriously want to fit in, you will educate yourself on the wonders of MST3k, Rifftrax, and Cinematic Titanic, with all speed.
By Sum Dum Dik, November 12, 2010 @ 8:33 pm
I tried to make the stray feel welcome…bowl of water and a can of dog food. Hell, I even opened it for her. But when I got home from work the next day, doggie was gone and the possum that was living in my compost pile had his face chewed off.
Maybe I had a “Fight Club” moment, and that funny taste in my mouth wasn’t morning breath…….
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 12, 2010 @ 9:15 pm
Ah, that was Dirty Dog McGee. That possum refused to pay his extensive gambling debts, so the Dogfather wanted an example made of him.
By Sum Dum Dik, November 12, 2010 @ 9:25 pm
OHN! (Oh, Hell No!)….now I have to name the dog “The Dogfather”…..why didn’t I think of that??
By Sum Dum Dik, November 12, 2010 @ 10:57 pm
OK, try this……<mindfuck>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCd5-8vFwQ4&feature=related
</mindfuck>
By Chaoz, November 13, 2010 @ 1:53 pm
Hum (sorry, brother, but calling you Monsters just sounds WEIRD!) – yeah as the owner of more 4 legged brethren than I have ever had ‘friends’; I agree. To me, animals are the true innocents of the world. I’ve had idiots ask me how can you think that if you eat meat. To which I usually say “fuck off”. Srsly, to me – its one thing eating an animal to survive. I don’t mind hunters if they’re going to eat what they kill.
Shit I hate are people who don’t take care of their animals – oh they’re cute when their little but then chase them off when they get bigger – dogs in particular. At the parking lot at work in the evening, I usually will see a different dog or cat roaming around at least once a week. Obviously taken care of at one time but then abandoned. I’ll usually go back into the store, buy a tin of food and leave it for them. Then I say a quick prayer for the animal (hey, it can’t hurt) – and off I go home (with 9 cats at home, there’s not really room in the inn for a another cat, much less a dog).
Of course, worse still are the dead animals on the street on the way to work – sometimes adult, sometimes youngsters. The little ones are the hardest for me to handle. As I drive by I’ll say a prayer and bang on my steering wheel for the next 5 minutes or so.
That’s the problem with this world – EVERYTHING is disposable to too many people.
Hehe – well shit, done pissed myself off again. … Must be old age (or age of reason).
By Chaoz, November 13, 2010 @ 1:56 pm
Sum – don’t worry about doggie – if she knows there’s food around – she’ll be back. If not, well – c’est le vie as they say.
By Chaoz, November 13, 2010 @ 2:08 pm
Oh yeah Hum – your little ditty you posted. Nice – never heard of it but…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSbojAL8gKU
A fine drinking song for sure.
…well – this sounds like a perfect time to hop to the stripclub and have a pint (or two) and a lass (or two). Be back later!
By heywood, November 13, 2010 @ 11:03 pm
Heywood launches up from his sedentary lifestyle with a groan. Trudges up the staicase and into his attic. There in the corner is his steamer of knowledge. On the way he steps on a hotwheels car. Whump! Dammit! He gets back up and opens up the lid. There it is… under the diploma from the school of hard knocks. His memory of MST3K. It is very blurry so he tries to remember back that far. No good. He must make the trek to the liquor store and pick up a 30 pack of Natty Light ($5.00usd) stands on his head and chugs all of them. Ah it’s clearer now. There was a dustbuster or bowling pin sawn in half and it said funny things. Oh yes. It is all coming back now. But alas, no memories of Rifftrax nor Cinematic Titanic. He digs deeper into the steamer of knowledge and pulls out his beanie of learnin’. Oh god no! The propellor is bent. He straightens it out as best as he can hoping that no one will notice. ‘Stream 24/7′ ‘Winamp’ ‘VLC’ ‘no IRC client needed’ It’s all too much. The headache from the poorly contstructed lager is palpable and he can feel his heartbeat in the bridge of his nose. He needs a reason to fall over and goes looking for that hotwheel. There it is. Whump! Ah sedentary again. Sweet relief.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 14, 2010 @ 12:14 am
Ah the massive Steamer of Knowledge, which of course imparts the most important lesson of life, which is never lock the dog in the attic for a long period of time.
In my time I have left a few steamers of knowledge in hotels with less than polite staff.
By heywood, November 14, 2010 @ 9:51 am
More like a steamer trunk and less like a “Cleveland Steamshovel” But either one works just as well.
Actually, the more that I think about it… My pile of knowledge is mostly full of shit.
By heywood, November 14, 2010 @ 6:18 pm
…spins his propellor. Damn thing is still wobbling. Gets out the iron and does some irony. There it is now straightened. Spins it again, looks up and corrects the prior comment to say ” Cleveland Steamer.”
By Chaoz, November 15, 2010 @ 12:57 am
I think Heywood you can see a urologist for a “bent propellor”
Well, yesterday was a mistake. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind having a couple of girls play “hide the salami” with their mouths its just that everybody gets greedy. Jeez, I have this feeling that each woman has a GIGANTIC mental scoreboard in their heads (which takes up 70% of their memory) on which they compare and contrast where you sit against other guys – and worse – where they THINK they sit in your own head.
Case in point: a waitress who I have a slight fancy for (who didn’t work yesterday), got pissed because she heard from another waitress that I told female bartender #2 that I might get her a $200 gift card for her birthday.
Let me say that again – pissed. second-hand info. MIGHT give a gift card. MIGHT. (and lord knows I never throw a $$ amount when I promise shit)
W – T – F – ?
Of course it all boils down to money. Always money. Forever money. It has been said that women want security from men. No they don’t. They want financial security – male optional. Seriously.
Fuck’em all.
By Chaoz, November 15, 2010 @ 1:10 am
Through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes
I can barely define the shape of this moment in time…
And far from flying high in clear blue skies
I’m spiralling down to the hole in the ground where i hide.
If you negotiate the minefield in the drive
And beat the dogs – and cheat the cold electronic eyes -
And if you make it past the shotguns in the hall -
Dial the combination – open the priesthole -
And if i’m in – I’ll tell you what’s behind The Wall
There’s a kid who had a big hallucination,
Making love to girls in magazines.
He wonders if you’re sleeping with your new found faith.
Could anybody love him
Or is it just a crazy dream?
And if i show you my dark side
Will you still hold me tonight?
And if i open my heart to you -
And show you my weak side -
What would you do?
Would you sell your story to Rolling Stone?
Would you take the children away
And leave me alone?
And smile in reassurance
As you whisper down the phone?
Would you send me packing
Or would you take me home?
Thought i oughta bare my naked feelings
Thought i oughta tear the curtain down
I held the blade in trembling hands
Prepared to make it, but – just then the phone rang…
I never had the nerve to make The Final Cut
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 16, 2010 @ 1:48 am
Best advice I can give is to stop giving all your hard earned money to whores.
By The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street, November 16, 2010 @ 1:49 am
Ok Sum, I’ll see your little chipmunk mindfuck and raise you x5.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8YeMIhz1dg&feature=related
By Chaoz, November 16, 2010 @ 2:34 am
Best advice I can give is to stop giving all your hard earned money to whores.
Aye – but easier said than done, no?
Actually, not really that why God gave us two hands, eh?
Feh, women are so … um … what’s a nice term – mercernary (sorry, first word that came to my head) in their relationships.
BTW – I made the mistake of downloading “The Final Cut” and that sumbitch has been play NONSTOP for about 4 days now. Add the fact I’m withdrawing from my antidepressant (can afford the damn thing til Thursday)….
Oh yeah, its been a FUN fucking few days at ChaozCentral. With a couple of more to come…
By Chaoz, November 16, 2010 @ 2:36 am
C’mon Hum – the best you could was Boney? Really?
Tsk, tsk – you’re slipping.
I’ll see you Boney and Sum’s Chipmunks and raise you a Trololo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMGlQvPBQE0
By Chaoz, November 16, 2010 @ 2:39 am
AND – an ultimate RickRoll….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL-hNMJvcyI
By Chaoz, November 16, 2010 @ 2:43 am
AND… T-H-I-S (which I’ve been saving for Armageddon, but fuck it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W8fBsLYHcE
…
Been a long time since I’ve said this … I D*A*R*E to click – BUT if you do you have to finish the WHOLE video. Every single second (NO PAUSING). You won’t. Why? Because you’re a pussy. That’s why.
C’mon – I TRIPLE dog dare you.
Cowards….
By heywood, November 16, 2010 @ 10:37 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
By heywood, November 16, 2010 @ 1:47 pm
I get British humour. Hell, I even understand John Waters. I don’t get Japanese humor. It’s just odd.
By Sum Dum Dik, November 16, 2010 @ 9:53 pm
I regret the chipmunk video. Mea Culpa.
By Chaoz, November 16, 2010 @ 10:46 pm
I regret the chipmunk video. Mea Culpa.
It’s alright Sum – just remember though for next time. Don’t try to mindfuck the mindfucked, else you’ll get mindfucked instead.
Kinda like the Borg (You will be assimillated! Resistance is futile!)
… its a good thing I didn’t even break open The Vault – that’s where all the real fucked up stuff is.
By Chaoz, November 16, 2010 @ 11:20 pm
Heywood – the best I can figure “Japanese humor” IS an oxymoron.
However as a consolation prize to everyone here for that weird shit I posted.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80938809/
This one is a game show where you try to walk up a greased ramp, throw beanbags to knock out numbers hiding a cute girl – and then slide into a pool of tar. … I didn’t said it made sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NId6BsQX958
And personal favorite, Brain Wall (aka “Human Tetris). Hilarious stuff.
By heywood, November 17, 2010 @ 12:33 am
Well, since I am still on peoples Cleveland Steamer list, I might as well drop this bomb….
What does weretarded mean? I understand what ‘fucktard’ means. Hell, I’ve been called that. Did our patron ‘aint not bleach her lip?
Flame on!
By Chaoz, November 17, 2010 @ 7:57 pm
Well, since I am still on peoples Cleveland Steamer list, I might as well drop this bomb….
What does weretarded mean? I understand what ‘fucktard’ means. Hell, I’ve been called that. Did our patron ‘aint not bleach her lip?
Flame on!
Flame? Here?? Nah, We’re too loaded – we’ll I’M too loaded to flame anything (for fear of blowing up).
That said … I LOVE ORIGIN STORIES!!
“The Secret Origin Of Y U SO WERETARDED BRITNEY”
… hold on
By Chaoz, November 17, 2010 @ 8:20 pm
Ok, its like this …
On WWTDD.com (What Would Tyler Durden Do) – a mid-level gossip blog; the blogger (forgetten his name) posted this thread….
http://www.wwtdd.com/2007/08/y-u-so-sexy-britney/
A generic posting of the Britney Spears right before she went completely psycho. At the time, WWTDD was pretty fast and furious (with comments sometimes running triple digits). There was a very loose association of snarkers. Eventually, me and several others managed to find a ‘vibe’ within the thread and while the snarkers moved on, well – we didn’t really.
For the record, I think I was the one who suggested to take the thread to 500 (though I might be wrong). Then someone suggested 1000, 1500, etc.
… the thread is now at 12,756 replies…
A good chunk of that was with my self, Sum, Monsters(et al), and two others who have since moved on (i.e.”they got lives”) – Gotdang & Displaced Sarcasm
NOW – for the ‘Weretard” part
Some time later, the blogger posted THIS post
http://www.wwtdd.com/2007/08/werewolves-are-scary/
(embedded video taken down – available here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcpNROsocPA )
The term weretarded was created on that thread due to the nature of the video. Also, THAT thread launched a ‘war’ of sorts trying to catch up to our thread (even though some of us posted on it as well). It managed 8000+ posts.
…
Hmm, now that I think about it, those posts were probably a good reason why the blog was eventually sold to BuzzMedia, the site turned to shit and why I eventually set up shop on my own.
… but that’s ANOTHER story…
Anyway, in “memory” of those two legendary threads I smashed the two threads together like a giant colossus (as opposed to a small colossus) and created this thread.
Granted my “dreams” of setting up a celeb blogging site didn’t quite turn out the way I planned I still a few cards up my sleeve. … And a functioning liver.
By Chaoz, November 17, 2010 @ 8:26 pm
Heywood – BTW, we actually managed to make the thread SOOO big we crashed the server for it not ONCE, not TWICE, but THREE times. Eventually the thread was removed simply because it was too goddamn big.
By Sum Dum Dik, November 17, 2010 @ 8:52 pm
I love old-timey stories, uncle chaoz! Tell us another one!!!
By Chaoz, November 17, 2010 @ 10:28 pm
Funny u should mention that…
By Sum Dum Dik, November 17, 2010 @ 10:34 pm
I’m gonna be there a while, ain’t I?…….
By Chaoz, November 18, 2010 @ 12:07 am
Don’t worry Sum - before this year’s over- you’ll be glad you have your life and NOT mine….
By heywood, November 18, 2010 @ 1:17 am
Holy steamers! I am late too the party.
Oh and hey Chaoz- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ
By Sum Dum Dik, November 21, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
Loving the boobies lately…thanks Chaoz!!
By Chaoz, November 21, 2010 @ 9:17 pm
Heywood – don’t mind me – I get really annoying and depressing when I’m on the sauce.
YEARBOOK takes a lot outta me to be honest.
A friend of mine (who’s aware of what I’m doing) asked they obvious question: WHY? Best I could say was “I don’t know.”
Life – in and of itself – is a beautiful thing. Reality has a way of fucking shit up though.
Thanks for the Monty … can never have enough Eric.
By Sum Dum Dik, November 21, 2010 @ 10:49 pm
not sure what happened, but, um…FIST!
By Chaoz, November 22, 2010 @ 12:52 am
Sum … you sound like a gay porn actor in his first video.
And – no – I have NO idea why that ‘s what I thought of.
Aw fuck it, you earned that “fist” (so to speak)!
Ironically I earned a fist on the “mothership”
http://www.wwtdd.com/2007/08/y-u-so-sexy-britney/?cp=639#comment-27473892
By Sum Dum Dik, November 22, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
WTF? The thread, i mean THE THREAD, is back?!?!?!?..
By heywood, November 22, 2010 @ 3:12 pm
OK,mister, you can play in the neighbors yard. But, don’t neglect your duties here.
What would Tyler Durden do? Blow shit up. How can you try for respectability with the name Tyler Durden?
By The Gold .. Sam Gold .. Mister Clandestine .. Mister Ambiguous .. Mister Mystery, November 22, 2010 @ 8:58 pm
“How can you try for respectability with the name Tyler Durden?”
The whole point of Fight Club was to deny societies pop culture outlook as to what out dreams, wants, goals, needs should be. A website named after the films protagonist that was devoted to giving the vacuous and arrogant talking monkeys that delusionally believe themselves to be some kind of royalty a right good bollocking when they showed us their true empty headed mornonity, was simply sublime.
Sadly over time as the sites popularity grew it began to run mostly on stories about stupid and useless people who became famous for being stupid and useless rather than celebrities getting called out for behaving foolishly. It also began to be colonized by the same knuckle dragging, self absorbed sycophants as the rest of the mainstream and nauseating interweb. People who came there to be seen rather than because they cared about what was the sites intent. And in fact completely missed the point.
I think that is why we started pushing the “Shitney” thread to the breaking point. The site writer started to pretty much phone in his stories, using the uninteresting and unsurprising antics of Shitney, Hilton, and Lohan as his holy trinity.
Now days the site is a magpies mess of stories unworthy of even interweb cockroaches like Perez Hilton. And the sites hangers on are a group of self serving sycopahntic dipshits, or in this case anti-sycophanitc dipshits, as all they ever do is bitch about how terrible the site has become yet are too afraid to leave it to rot as it deserves, because they are terrified to not be seen as belonging to the “Kewl Kids” clique of personality. So they just hang around creating their human centipede of ego stroking rim jobbery and pumping life support into a maggot ridden corpse that should be long buried.
By The Gold .. Sam Gold .. Mister Clandestine .. Mister Ambiguous .. Mister Mystery, November 23, 2010 @ 10:54 am
Raise the flag of piracy
Sing a song of victory
For glorious in battle are we
We’ve never known defeat
We never will retreat
We live to hear the cannon roar
And terror is our semaphore
Notoriously loathsome are we
We rob the rich, the poor
Then steal a little more
Victory, we fight to win
Victory is ours again
We are the scourge of the land and sea
Beastly pirates are we
Masters of the briny sea
We’ll go down in history
Courageous men who live by the sword
We deal in treachery, the kings of lechery
Raise the anchor, trim the sail
We raid tonight if winds prevail
Invincible, we fight to the end
United to a man, we need no battle plan
Victory, we fight to win
Victory is ours again
We are the scourge of the land and sea
Beastly pirates are we
It’s so pitiful a sight
To see them walk the plank
They squirm and cry for mercy
Regardless of their rank
Victory we fight to win
By The Gold .. Sam Gold .. Mister Clandestine .. Mister Ambiguous .. Mister Mystery, November 23, 2010 @ 11:12 am
Victory is ours again
For we are the scourge of the land and sea
Beastly pirates are we
Victory, we fight to win
Victory is ours again
We are the scourge of the land and sea
Beastly pirates are we
Victory
By The Gold .. Sam Gold .. Mister Clandestine .. Mister Ambiguous .. Mister Mystery, November 23, 2010 @ 11:16 am
Wish I could blame that colossal fuck up on your shit text editor but sadly it was all my shit copy and paste skill this time.
Any way enjoy your holiday celebrating your learning to live in harmony with turkeys and feasting on red indians … or what ever.
Looks like I am going to be busy the next couple of weeks.
Cheers.
By heywood, November 23, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
Thanks for that ^ info. To be honest, I have only seen parts of the movie. (I am a huge non-fan of Brad Pitt) I do not get to read near as much as I would like and have not read the book. My interest is piqued though. (read the book not watch the movie-see comment above about Brad Pitt)
‘celebrating your learning to live in harmony with turkeys and feasting on red indians’ Harsh… but fair.
By Observer, November 24, 2010 @ 4:55 pm
Happy Thanksgiving to all…..
…..especially to the 10 to 15 turkeys that romp through my yard several times per week……
…mocking the suburbanite’s lack of firepower…..
By Chaoz, November 24, 2010 @ 9:03 pm
The whole point of Fight Club was to deny societies pop culture outlook …. they just hang around creating their human centipede of ego stroking rim jobbery and pumping life support into a maggot ridden corpse that should be long buried.
Sorry bro cut it so you can see my reply which is: HOMERUN.
At the time, it was just another minor gossip site that had struck a nerve and the responders there (at the time) seemed erudite (though, highly sarcastic). Even when flaming a post they did it with a certain level of vivace.
Now? Its kinda just another site filled with trolls, flamers, blog whores, etc.
I agree that when the whole Shitney thing hit the fan (pardon the pun) with her going bonkers and Paris and Lindsay flashing their gashes every other day – the author was obviously having a field day.
To me I think the turning point was the Michael Vick saga and the graphic injured dog pic. It seemed at that point that the blogger was looking for hits rather than any sort of urbane discussion. After that, it was all about the hits till he started implanting ads in the background (i.e.: The Evian War) and he replaced “fuck” with “screw” in his mission statement – now long since deleted entirely.
By Chaoz, November 24, 2010 @ 9:09 pm
Hum – that song. … …
Whoa.
Okay – congrats – I give up. I have NO idea where this is from (The Pirate Movie???)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK7IiL09PR0
By Sum Dum Dik, November 25, 2010 @ 9:52 am
rim-jobbery? Hi-Larry-Us!
I have GOT to get back into the loop slang-wise…..
By I'm So Bad Baby I Don't Care, December 2, 2010 @ 10:57 pm
Hum – that song. … …
Whoa.
Okay – congrats – I give up. I have NO idea where this is from (The Pirate Movie???)
Yes that surprisingly vicious little ditty is from the 80s schlock comedy The Pirate Movie. It is an amazing theme song to a somewhat half assed movie. I think that while it bombed in your country it was amazing popular in parts of Eastern Europe for some reason.
Oddly enough it is on the list of favorite films, though mostly for nostalgia reasons. It is a piss take of the musical The Pirates of Penzance, which is at times witty in the vein of Python, yet sadly is also chocked full of atypical Hollywood lameness such as two pathetic gags referencing two of the most popular films of the early 80s, Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Arc. Considering shit cinema such as Meet the Spartan and the Scary Movie series I guess Hollywood still has not figured out that imitation is not comedy.
By I'm So Bad Baby I Don't Care, December 2, 2010 @ 11:37 pm
Well fuck. I just found out that Leslie Nielsen has gone to the happy hunting grounds … but that’s not important right now.
I loved his comedy career. He was one of the few comedians who could make me laugh to nearly pissing myself by delivering a completely deadpan line. And if it were not for him and his Naked Gun movies, the world would have never heard the incredulous line “… sexual assault with a CONCRETE DILDO!!??”
Shine on you crazy diamond.
By Sum Dum Dik, December 3, 2010 @ 11:31 pm
Getting ready for the season’s first “big” snowstorm (2-4 inches)….can you feel the panic in the air??
By Chaoz, December 3, 2010 @ 11:51 pm
Hum/BMF (see Kocsis post for meaning) – yeah, I actually wanted to post that (and will most likely tomorrow). Fucking pissed off about that. Here we have some of the worst assholes on the planet living and breathing amongst us and who gets yanked? Leslie Nielsen. Nice dude in the world and general “good egg”.
See this is why I believe in the “Slacker God”:
“Whoa. Leslie Nielsen?”
“Yes, who are you?”
“Oh, me? Like, I’m God and stuff. Ain’t it cool?”
“Um, why am I in Heaven?”
“Well, dude – its kinda like I’m not sure but I guess it was your time, bro. Bummer, I know.”
“You mean you don’t control any of that?”
“Whoa, dude! No way! That’s like ‘heavy shit’. Hey – you want help me smoke this blunt? Bob Marley grew this shit on the farside of Heaven! He calls it ‘Afterlife Ambrosia’! Surely, its a righteous toke!!”
(Leslie looks around) “Fuck yeah. …. And don’t call me ‘Shirley’.”
By Chaoz, December 4, 2010 @ 12:09 am
Sum – sounds like South Texas … except change ‘big snowstorm’ for ‘cold front’. :rolleyes:
I swear – they fucking PANIC down here if the temperature gets below 40F. The few times it has iced (much less snow) – the whole fucking town shuts down.
You’d think that Snow Miser took a dump on the town or something…
By Chaoz, December 6, 2010 @ 11:41 am
Hi guys. Replying to my own post cuz this stupid phone is not being cooperative. Anyway, for those playing at home, I am now shorthanded 3 ppl.2 on maternity and 1 just got his ass canned.
Seriously, I have ONE fuckin rule: Keep your goddamn nose clean. Is it THAT fuckin hard to do???
*sigh*
Anyway, the posts will dry up to a trickle but ill still be around. Gonna post at least once. Just wanna to let u all know.
Off to work now…
By Sum Dum Dik, December 6, 2010 @ 11:25 pm
A long time ago I heard on the news that Dallas had gotten their first ice storm in years. They interviewed a couple of “good ol’ boys” and they said they had grabbed a case of beer and went down to the bus stop so they could sit and watch the accidents happen. Laffed my fukken arse off for days just thinking about it.
Oh, ten degrees tonight. Tomorrow, eight degrees. Below zero wind chill. My wood-burning stove? 600 degrees F. Yep, fuck em all!!
By Sum Dum Dik, December 6, 2010 @ 11:37 pm
Oh, and Merry Christmas! It’s the best I can do on short notice…
http://www.flashyourrack.com/flash.cgi?user=xmaswife
By Sum Dum Dik, December 6, 2010 @ 11:41 pm
And if you don’t like it, my sister will come over and make it all better….
http://www.flashyourrack.com/flash.cgi?user=mamahotty
By Piedmont's Eulogy, December 8, 2010 @ 4:18 am
Oh, ten degrees tonight. Tomorrow, eight degrees. Below zero wind chill. My wood-burning stove? 600 degrees F. Yep, fuck em all!!
Mate. I have striped naked and have jumped/been shoved into neck deep water in colder temperatures than that. … I am not saying that is the smart choice or anything, … just that I have done it.
By Piedmont's Eulogy, December 8, 2010 @ 4:23 am
I am deeply sorry that you are having to put up with so much bullshit at work El Robbo.
With all seriousness, if me and my mates could drop by and beat some sense into your upper echelon masters, we would like a shot.
By Piedmont's Eulogy, December 8, 2010 @ 4:40 am
Oh well. I am never my best these days at the arse end of the year.
Considering the sheer amount of alcohol I have imbibed in the last month or so I feel it safe to say I need to take some time away from people I care about for the next month or so.
And hey, thanks to a certain sawed off, slant eyed, little cocksucker, there might not be a next year …
So on that note I am out for a bit.
Maybe there is a mystical drunken robot who will step in and make posts for me while I am away.
Or … maybe not.
Peace in our fucking time … yet again …….
By Piedmont's Eulogy, December 8, 2010 @ 5:04 am
A little personal introspection …
You are one of God’s mistakes.
You crying, tragic waste of skin.
I’m well aware of how it aches,
And you still won’t let me in.
Now I’m breaking down your door,
To try and save your swollen face.
Though I don’t like you anymore
You lying trying waste of, space.
Before our innosence was lost
You were always one of those
Blessed with lucky 7′s,
And a voice that made me cry.
My oh my
You were mother nature’s son.
Someone to whom I could relate.
You’re needle and your damage done,
Remains a sorted twist of fate,
Now I’m trying to wake you up,
To pull you from the liquid sky.
Cause if I don’t we’ll both end up
With just your songs to say goodbye.
My oh my.
A song to say goodbye
A song to say goodbye
A song to say.
Before our innosence was lost
You were always one of those
Blessed with lucky 7′s,
And a voice that made me cry.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
It’s a song to say goodbye.
By Chaoz, December 8, 2010 @ 4:07 pm
First of all YOU BETTER GODDAMN BETTER NOT LEAVE YOU INUIT ASSHOLE.
No offense brother but if we have to put up with the worlds bullshite and come here to vent so can you, walrusfucker.
As u said before, we dinosaurs. One day our meteor will come and wipe us out and the little rats will take over.
So?
If there is one lesson we have all learned its the axiom: ‘Adapt or Die’. We’re still around cause others fucked up. Whose fault is that? Ours? Nope.
To the generations coming: FUCK YOU.
Oh and that North Korean dipshit won’t start major Shit, his sons taking over and doesn’t want him to rule over a crater. He’s crazy not stupid.
By Sum Dum Dik, December 8, 2010 @ 9:06 pm
Thanks, mate. Now if someone could explain Piedmont’s eulogy…..
By Sum Dum Dik, December 9, 2010 @ 6:36 pm
Did I write that drivel? Bloody sobriety is bloody overrated…..
By heywood, December 10, 2010 @ 1:58 pm
confession- went to two bookstores looking for ‘The Fight Club’ no luck. Did purchase ‘Lord of the Rings’ in hardbound trilogy form. ( brother’s kid lugged around the single book edition of Tolkiens work for 6 months) It was a good idea to break it up into three books. Still planning on ordering the fight club book. looking forward to spirited debate once reading commences.
By Sum Dum Dik, December 12, 2010 @ 7:56 pm
Never got into LotR……too busy looking for boobies, I suspect.
By Chaoz, December 13, 2010 @ 8:01 pm
Well I haven’t read the book (what is this ‘book’ you speak of sir?).
Lord of the Rings? Er, I read The Hobbit and I concede that was as far as I could get into Tolkien. I did D&D (if that counts) but I was more into comics so I became Comic Book Guy (complete with slight rotundness and annoying habit of saying “WORST. ____. EVER!”).
Oh yeah, and porn. … lots and lots … of porn.
By heywood, December 14, 2010 @ 1:35 am
‘Lord of the Rings’ was one book that was split into three by editors. My neice , who by the way is just as stubborn as my brother, somehow managed to find a single book version of the ‘Lord of the Rings.’ It weighed about 50 pounds. She carried it around with her for 3-4 months.
And now I must tell you my Brad Pitt story. He lived across the hall from some highschool buddies at Mizzou. I have hated him for a lot longer than you, I garontee! Refuse to watch him and discounted the movie ‘Fight Club’ for that reason.
By heywood, December 14, 2010 @ 2:45 pm
I just heard that the Big XII is now going to be called the “Drop a Deuce” conference. ‘Taking the kids to the pool’ will be the out of conference schedule. Then, the teams will have to eat a lot of fiber to get through the grind of the conference schedule.
Hilarity for all my friends. Opa!
By Sum Dum Dik, December 21, 2010 @ 10:16 am
Happy Christmas and Merry Holidayz to all, and to all some fine boobies!
Thanks to Captain Chaoz for all his “hard” work around here!
By Chaoz, December 21, 2010 @ 8:48 pm
Thanks Sum – It kinda sucks to not have the bold,underline, etc. though.
Shit – I’m not fond of this italics – first thing I’m gonna try and fix …. without wrecking the blog
By Observer, December 22, 2010 @ 10:32 am
Well…..I’m back!
I’m sure nobody cares….I had to “re-register” which meant I had to figure out my “old” hotmail….which is a “livemail”…..etc etc etc (thanks to Yule Brynner)
So!
Merry Christmas to ALL….and to all….goodnight…..even though it’s lunch-time(ish) here
By Observer, December 23, 2010 @ 11:50 am
The blog seems to be rejecting my comments…..
..Merry Christmas, every one.
By Observer, December 23, 2010 @ 11:52 am
Now …… WTF??
…It’s a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE…….
By Observer, December 23, 2010 @ 11:54 am
Hmmnn….
…do “tags” work here…?
Try Bold
By Observer, December 23, 2010 @ 11:55 am
What about this…
Cross outs?Eye-talics?
By Chaoz, December 23, 2010 @ 11:58 pm
Hi Ob Yeah – tags work its just the WYSIWYG doesn’t work. Though it seems to be more of a problem with the version of WordPress i’m using than anything else.
(Ironically, I’m using the most recent one.
)
By Chaoz, December 23, 2010 @ 11:59 pm
Oh and the avatar plugin doesn’t work for the same reason – so I’m hoping that a plug-in will get an update that DOES work.
By Sum Dum Dik, December 24, 2010 @ 2:35 pm
We missed you Ob. I think of you every time I see the beach boobies.
Just got back from Ma’s house. Got a bunch of food, so I won’t have to go out in this latest snowstorm. Paid the internet bill and the electric bill, so i’m off to say hello to internet porn. I’ll check back now and again when I need a break….
By gnu user heywood, December 29, 2010 @ 6:59 pm
You ain’t done nothin’ until you’ve done a gnu.
By Sum Dum Dik, December 30, 2010 @ 5:12 pm
is your favorite football player named Gnute Rockne??
By Sum Dum Dik, December 30, 2010 @ 5:20 pm
Oh, and I survived the 3.8 magnitude Indiana earthquake this morning. It seems to be big news on the indy tv stations. It did make life a little easier for all us Amish Butter-Churners….
By Sum Dum Dik, December 31, 2010 @ 8:15 pm
Depending on your location (i’m looking at you, eskimo), it should be time for…..HAPPY NEW YEAR!
By Observer, January 3, 2011 @ 9:58 am
Happy New Year kids….
Sorry this is late..
By Observer, January 3, 2011 @ 10:05 am
Due to it being a “New” year and all….
…I’m not sure if anyone still likes nude scenes….
..but for me….the best thing about the year-end is all the “Best Of” summaries…
http://www.scoopy.org/index.htm
By Observer, January 3, 2011 @ 1:12 pm
Financial Planning
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment seminar, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” Dan said to her, “but in just a few years my father will die and I’ll inherit $200 million.”
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card … and three days later she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
By Sum Dum Dik, January 3, 2011 @ 10:28 pm
Ob, that chick sounds like one of my exes.
OH, I went to randomwebsite.com and it immediately sent me to cheese.com……SPOOKY!!!
By Sum Dum Dik, January 15, 2011 @ 11:39 pm
Roberto must be getting his pipes cleaned, so I will help out a bit…
http://www.flashyourrack.com/flash.cgi?user=cat
http://www.flashyourrack.com/flash.cgi?user=indian41d
By Sum Dum Dik, January 31, 2011 @ 10:09 pm
Glad you are back. Amish-land is currently starting day one of a two-day ice storm. I can hope they will close the office tomorrow, but hoping for a rich horny russian mail-order bride ain’t working out so why bother hoping for a paid day off?
By Observer, February 15, 2011 @ 10:38 am
..another instructional video …
http://leenks.com/link2321.html
By Observer, February 22, 2011 @ 1:24 pm
I must say…..things look different…..
What happened?
Take a few days……weeks….off to be “busy”…..and the world turns….
By Observer, March 2, 2011 @ 5:59 pm
I was casually browsing the interwebs,,,,,,
…AND dreaming of summer…
..and it’s no secret that sun, salt water, sand and naked chicks are one of my irresistible temptations….
..so I thought I’d share with youse guise…..
http://erooups.com/2010/04/06/hot_summer_and_naked_girls_on_the_beach_46_pics.html
By Sum Dum Dik, March 2, 2011 @ 6:41 pm
Bless you, Observer. You made my day….
By Sum Dum Dik, March 2, 2011 @ 6:42 pm
Except for the “Trojan Detected” messages….
By Observer, March 3, 2011 @ 9:52 am
Uh oh…!!!
What firewall or security are you using?
My free AVG did not give me any warnings…
…unless it meant to say “Trojan recommended”…
By Sum Dum Dik, March 3, 2011 @ 6:52 pm
I think its some version of McAfee, but I would have to check and see if I have a different program working….
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 3:37 am
Holy Shit – this is still here? Halleujjjjjaauhhh!
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 3:39 am
Sum Dum Dik – Holy Fucking Shit! I literally just re-found this website by googling “Sum Dum Dik” I had spelt “Chaos” wrong. Heh, heh Chaoz.
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 3:43 am
Hello all. It’s only been about seven or so years. How are you? All of you?
I’m drunk. And I still fucking amazingly found you. You who I am now silently typing to. Uh, yeah. Winning.
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 3:44 am
Okay, really. Chaozengine… celebrityfist. Got it. I’ll be back tomorrow.
So some of you’s better show up too………………..
By Observer, March 4, 2011 @ 8:23 am
That’s Retarded…!!!!
I was just posting about you yesterday on the terminally ill “WWTDD”..!
By Sum Dum Dik, March 4, 2011 @ 6:56 pm
I’ve been GOGGLED? Or even better, GOOGLED?? Holy Shit! Now if I could just get one of these hotties to OGLE me……
Welcome back TR! Now stop in more often, OK??
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 8:44 pm
Observer! What the hell happened to WWTDD? Evertime I’ve been there (linked there) the comments sections have been closed. I thought that placed died………..
But if you just posted yesterday… I should check again?
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 8:46 pm
Errr… wait a sec. Just WHAT did you just post about me yesterday? *starts to quiver… shake… sweat*
By That's Retarded, March 4, 2011 @ 8:49 pm
Sum – You’ve been BEER-GOGGLED even! Ooooh, wait… that didn’t sound right. I meant I had been drinking and I goggled you. NO, wait. Dammit, that came out wrong! I meant…………
Oh forget it. I was beer-goggling you.
By Observer, March 5, 2011 @ 9:32 am
That’s Retarded…..
..on WWTDD…..the comments section is now “Off”….no reason given…
..but if pictures are in the post….opening the pictures allows picture comments….and we die-hards…..or is it retards….post a thread on the first picture…
….as far as what I wrote….someone….(perhaps the infamous Pepper)….is copying and pasting “old” comments of others….
I suggested he imitate “That’s Retarded” and simply copy and paste the sublime phrase “That’s Retarded” on each thread….to save time and energy…
I think this would be a “sustainability” contribution toward ensuring a “greener” and happier universe..
By Sum Dum Dik, March 5, 2011 @ 11:42 am
Did we ever determine if Pepper was male or female?
By Sum Dum Dik, March 5, 2011 @ 12:27 pm
Observer – you dumped a six pounder? For realz? Damn, I thought my 5.8 pounder would have held the record a little longer than that….
By Sum Dum Dik, March 6, 2011 @ 9:44 pm
Word of the day: minge
And why am I just NOW finding out about this?? Prolly cause Humungus has been AWOL lately……
By Observer, March 7, 2011 @ 8:19 am
Sum Dum Dik…..
You went back and read all the comments…?
Yes that six pounder (estimated……how gross do you think I am!?)……was quite an experience…
I like your word of the day…..
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Minge
By The Ghost of Bulb, March 13, 2011 @ 4:04 pm
MMMMMMINGE…….
*cue mysterious banging noises, levitating furniture and weretard howling*
By Sum Dum Dik, March 18, 2011 @ 8:46 pm
BulB!!!! w00t! w00t!
By Sum Dum Dik, March 24, 2011 @ 7:12 pm
Paging captain chaoz….sure hope you are ok…..
By Sum Dum Dik, March 26, 2011 @ 11:01 am
Another friend of mine….vote for her at Maxim HometownHotties…
http://hometownhotties.com/profile/2378833?offset=79&gid=7589
By Sum Dum Dik, March 27, 2011 @ 5:11 pm
OK, how the hell do I change me avatar??
By Chaoz, March 27, 2011 @ 6:36 pm
Well right above the comment box it should say “Logged in as (your name)” if you click that you SHOULD be able to take a look at your profile. Down towards das bottom is the avatar thingie where you can upload you unique avatar.
Sheesh, you act like I run this – oh yeah. oops.
By Sum Dum Dik, March 27, 2011 @ 8:24 pm
Right above the comment box it says:
Leave a comment
Sum Dum Dik *Name
xxxxxxxxxx *Email (not published)
______________ Website
Then the comment box. The avatar can wait until you are done posting boobies……
By Son of a Motherless Goat, March 28, 2011 @ 8:02 am
I cannot even find an option to allow me to log in or register.
By Chaoz (Unlogged), March 28, 2011 @ 9:52 pm
Hold on trying something – SOAMG
By Chaoz (Unlogged), March 28, 2011 @ 9:57 pm
Ok – FIXED – Goddamn it sorry dude
By Sum Dum Dik, March 29, 2011 @ 3:37 pm
Hooray! Success!
On a different note – I saw 3 camels today. Yes, real CAMELS. In a pasture next to an animal doctor place…
By Sum Dum Dik, March 29, 2011 @ 3:42 pm
If you can read the words, they say “All You Can Eat”.
Now I’m hungry…going out for a moment…
By Sum Dum Dik, March 29, 2011 @ 3:43 pm
Grrr….if you *can’t* read the words…..
By Observer, March 30, 2011 @ 8:40 am
I need an avatar…
By Observer, March 30, 2011 @ 10:53 am
No….seriously…
By Observer, March 30, 2011 @ 10:55 am
Incidentally….
I can post as “Observer”….I assume because of the cookies….(oreo please….for me and the 3 year old)…
…and then I “log-in” and I have a rudimentary avatar…
By Chaoz, March 30, 2011 @ 8:25 pm
Mmm – excellent choice.
Ok ok – time for an endless summer post.
By Sum Dum Dik, April 1, 2011 @ 8:05 pm
Forgot about your 3 year old, Ob. What a fun age!!
By Sum Dum Dik, April 9, 2011 @ 6:06 pm
Just heard a song by Natasha Bedingfield (i bruise easily). How is it I miss this shit?? Oh yeah, by accidentally typing in “boobs” into my search engine. Sigh.
By Son of a Motherless Goat, April 12, 2011 @ 9:35 pm
Well Sum I honestly thought “who the fuck is Natasha Bedingfield and who the fuck cares” at least until I googled her. Now I am thinking drop me a line when she releases a single titled “I put out easily”
By Son of a Motherless Goat, April 14, 2011 @ 11:34 pm
They got five televisions in a house built for three
Look upon that fake fireplace, note the bucktoothed boy’s me
See that wood paneled room? That’s where I learned to drink
You see that hole in the wall? That was seagrams I think
That tree was a goal post, that bathroom it was a shroud
That closet it was a phone booth, and that mirror was a crowd
See that guy with the bad knees and his heart on his sleeve?
Watch him slip me ten dollars when it comes time to leave…
It’s been five years and some change
and this world is gettin’ so strange
but this house smells just the same
And my mom, my sweet mom, she don’t remember my name… my mom
she can’t remember my name, my mom
I sit on the bed, I kiss her right behind the ear
she calls out for a dog that’s been dead for a year
I say ‘how is it going?’ just like I didn’t know
I hold on the both of her hands too afraid to let her go
And five times exactly, no more and no less,
she says how you’ve been eatin’, boy?’ and I say Ok, I guess’
In this room where she made me, each day she grows weak
she flips on the Golden girls’ and the first tear hits my cheek
It’s been five years and some change
and this world is gettin’ so strange
but this old house smells just the same
and my mom, my sweet mom, she don’t remember my name
my mom, can’t remember my name, she’s my mom now,
she can’t remember my name… my mom can’t remember my name… my mom…
By Sum Dum Dik, April 15, 2011 @ 5:54 pm
SoaMG – I agree. BTW, i love the new avatar – in a non-uphill-gardener-type way….
By Chaoz, April 15, 2011 @ 8:51 pm
Actually I was thinking Full Metal Jacket. :\
Oh yeah – I can tell you the story here – so i got shit faced after meeting the ex and the bitch wanted to date me again. Now, I really thought about hitting her just on general principal – but I didn’t
So I go to the club – get shitfaced. So much so I lose my phone and I walk out without paying the tab. I go in the next day to pay up and the bartender (aka The Cunt) is acting all worried about me and shit.
Just yesterday I got my new phone (after reporting the previous one lost – fortunately I had insurance) – after activating it; all these fucking messages come up from The Cunt asking why didn’t I pay up and was I ignoring her fat married ass and that she had to pay, etc. Fucking bitch. Not a note if I was alive or shit. Just wanted her money.
So after activating my phone I proceeded to delete all of the numbers involving The Ex and The Club. Done. Fin. Kaput. If I ever go to another club it AIN’T gonna be that one. FUCK THEM
By Sum Dum Dik, April 15, 2011 @ 9:43 pm
Good on ya, mate. Chicks be whack – just sayin’….
By Sum Dum Dik, April 15, 2011 @ 9:58 pm
<— Guess what I found……
By Son of a Motherless Goat, April 16, 2011 @ 12:46 am
Glad you like the new avvi, it is Sgt Barnes from the film Platoon.
Ouch El Robbo. Avoiding the ex is always a good idea. As to fecking publicans, feck the fecking lot of the feckers. Sure they are all sunshine and smiles when draining you of dosh but put one foot wrong and they quickly become your worst enemy. I would have some sympathy for them having to put up with a never ending parade of alchemically lobotomized retards, but they are the bastard who sat there pushing poison whilst getting payed for the privilege, so sod the pricks. Arseholes the lot of them.
By Son of a Motherless Goat, April 16, 2011 @ 12:50 am
<— Guess what I found……
Way hey!! Good old condom head rides again!!
By Sum Dum Dik, April 16, 2011 @ 5:19 am
Yeah, what Sgt Barnes said!
Up early to head downtown. 40,000 people doing the breast cancer walk for charity and they are all in my way. GRRRRRRR
Kinda reminds me of a movie scene: “Ramming Speed!”
By Sum Dum Dik, April 19, 2011 @ 9:42 pm
RIP to Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane from Doctor Who)….
New episode April 23 on BBCAmerica.com – Doctor Who versus Tricky Dick Nixon in the White House?! Fuck Yeah I’m Watching!!!
By Chaoz, April 19, 2011 @ 10:17 pm
You know I know very little of Dr. Who – other than the fact that he’s basically English pop culture, I’m not cool for not knowing him, his machine looks like a telephone booth – and oh yeah… THIS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfzuNBAwlzw
By Sum Dum Dik, April 20, 2011 @ 8:13 pm
I was in it mainly for Sarah Jane….but the moppet-headed guy was kinda funny.
Nice video, btw.
By Sum Dum Dik, April 20, 2011 @ 8:23 pm
haven’t seen it since Tom Baker left, but this kinda looks interesting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCeYYXS2eTU&feature=grec_index
By Observer, April 22, 2011 @ 1:54 pm
Hoppy Easter to all….
By Sum Dum Dik, April 22, 2011 @ 6:29 pm
Hope your holiday is EGG-cellent!!!
By Sum Dum Dik, April 25, 2011 @ 4:23 pm
<— Time to try out a new avatar….let me know what u think.
By Son of a Motherless Goat, May 3, 2011 @ 1:28 am
Did you hear the news about Edward?
On the back of his head he had another face
Was it a woman’s face or a young girl?
They said to remove it would kill him
So poor Edward was doomed
The face could laugh and cry
It was his devil twin
And at night she spoke to him
Things heard only in hell
But they were impossible to separate
Chained together for life
Finally the bell tolled his doom
He took a suite of rooms
And hung himself and her from the balcony irons
Some still believe he was freed from her
But I knew her too well
I say she drove him to suicide
And took poor Edward to hell
By Chaoz, May 4, 2011 @ 10:32 am
SOAMG Hum (sorry shorter and makes more sense) – well that’s depressing. Then again Tom Waits ain’t exactly The Wiggles.
I recall reading the case of someone who actually DID have a woman’s face on the back of his head. Supposedly, it could smile and cry but not much else. It was in one of those book of lists and but can’t find any reference on the Web.
Never mind, found it on Wiki – Edward Mordrake. Poor guy.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 4, 2011 @ 4:07 pm
Don’t (DON”T!) try to imagine what happened when the girl on the back of his head wanted to give some guy a blowjob. Just sayin’…
By Son of a Motherless Goat, May 4, 2011 @ 7:58 pm
Yeah El Robbo, apparently Waits song was inspired by the poor guy. Though really it is hard to tell with Waits. Most of his shit is about something else entirely.
For Sum and the blowjob comment, if I remember right he could see out of both sets of eyes. So even worse mental picture there.
By Sum Dum Dik, May 26, 2011 @ 6:38 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNIVpMXHqlk
What do you mean Flash Gordon is alive?
OPEN FIRE! ALL WEAPONS!
By Sum Dum Dik, May 26, 2011 @ 8:54 pm
http://www.hulu.com/watch/243423/special-when-lit-a-pinball-documentary
Remember pinball??
By Sum Dum Dik, July 2, 2011 @ 10:14 am
Does anybody post here anymore?
By Observer, July 6, 2011 @ 3:28 pm
Sum Dum Dik…….
….I don’t because I can’t remember my screen name or password….
…or…..maybe there are three posts of summery tits and pussies that I have to closely inspect…….be back in September..
By Chaoz, July 8, 2011 @ 10:49 pm
Sum – I usually do only when someone else does – however since that technically makes no sense (don’t talk til spoken to – right) – I shall endevour to spout my liturgy of insanity and dastardly deeds on here as a “sidebar”‘ of sorts.
Translation – I talk about my day.
For example last Sunday I had a fuck session with one of my exes (who’s currently – uh – taken) and she has this thing of trying to watch a movie while I’m giving her the old salami slam. I don’t mind – she’s not the greatest piece of ass but hey – any port in a storm.
So – here’s a stimulating question: what’s the weirdest sex habit your partner ever have? It can be generic (talk dirty) or weird as shit (choking). Just curious.
Sit on that and we’ll see if we can revive this thread – again.
By Sum Dum Dik, July 9, 2011 @ 4:22 pm
Well, one just wanted me to get her pregnant – and another liked to fuck any guy except for me. Meh.
By Chaoz, July 9, 2011 @ 7:05 pm
Ah she wanted the baby but no daddy? Hmmm heard that before and then 9 months later WHAM! Child support time! Yuck.
And as for the latter – yeah had quite a few of those actually. LOL
By Son of a Motherless Goat, July 9, 2011 @ 8:41 pm
One just wanted you to get her pregnant, just before 2012, did that ring any alarm bells, Suma Luma Ding Dong?
Meh. I cannot really think of any serious sexual weirdness, but then when you have seen live acts where women launch various items from their twinkle caves, just exactly what can you describe as weird anymore. One that stands out is one lady used to like me to tear her clothing off. And I mean rip it to shreds. Which is kinda sexy once in awhile. All the time though and it was a little odd. Not to mention I would imagine, expensive.
By Sum Dum Dik, July 10, 2011 @ 12:19 am
She wanted me to be daddy to her two other boys, so how better to make that happen then make baby number three. Och !
By Observer, July 12, 2011 @ 8:00 am
Once….I MAY have fucked with the lights on…..
….but that may have been a dream…..
By Sum Dum Dik, July 12, 2011 @ 6:57 pm
Yes, SoaMG – it set of every alarm in my systems. This was many many moons ago – my child support would almost be done by now.
By Sum Dum Dik, July 12, 2011 @ 7:12 pm
*set OFF every alarm. The thought freaks me out so much i can’t spel fur sheet.
By Son of a Motherless Goat, July 12, 2011 @ 10:23 pm
Well my advice about the ladies who come complete with their own nuclear family hobby kit, just add Daddy, and the damaged goods neurotics that need you as some sort of agony aunt to share all the torrid details of their path to self destruction with, but think too highly of you to take you along for the ride, is to tell these grifting bints to
PISS UP A ROPE
My dinner’s on fire
While she watches TV
And if you’ve ever wondered
What it’s like to be me
She takes all my money
And leaves me no smokes
Yells at my buddies
And insults my folks
I’m breakin’ my back doin’ the best that i can
She’s got time for the dog and none for her man
And i’m no dope
But i can’t cope
So hit the fuckin’ road and piss up a rope
You can
Piss up a rope
And you can put on your shoes
Hit the road get truckin’
Pack your bag
I don’t need the ag
On your knees you big booty bitch start suckin’
You ride my ass
Like a horse in a saddle
Now you’re up shits creek
With a turd for a paddle
And i can’t cope
Piss up a rope
Uh you can piss up a rope
And feel the pissy dribble
You can piss up a rope
And watch me giggle
For the last 6 months
I been packin’ your bag
You can wash my balls
With a warm wet rag
Till my balls feel smooth
And soft like silk
I’m sick of your mouth
And your 2 percent milk
And i’m no dope
But i’ve lost all hope
So hit the fuckin’ road and
Piss up a rope
You can
Piss up a rope
And you can put on your shoes
Hit the road get truckin’
Pack your bag
I don’t need the ag
On your knees you big booty bitch start suckin’
You ride my ass
Like a horse in a saddle
Now you’re up shits creek
With a turd for a paddle
And i can’t cope
Piss up a rope
You can
Piss up a rope
And you can put on your shoes
Hit the road get truckin’
Pack your bag
I don’t need the ag
On your knees you big booty bitch start suckin’
You ride my ass
Like a horse in a saddle
Now you’re up shits creek
With a turd for a paddle
And i can’t cope
Piss up a rope
By Chaoz, July 12, 2011 @ 10:33 pm
Ob – yeah it was likely a dream
Sum – you is SOOOO lucky not to have fallen for it.
SOAG – I laughed my ass off on that one – sounds like it could’ve been my future with any of my exes. Damn I shed a tear.
By Caracicatriz, July 12, 2011 @ 10:38 pm
IT …… IS ……. ALIVE
Glad you got a giggle out of it. Women. Cannot live with them and cannot shoot them unless you have a convenient swamp with in dragging distance.
By Sum Dum Dik, July 13, 2011 @ 8:15 pm
nerd alert – have you heard of dash coms (instead of dot coms)? Instead of tennis.net your domain name is tenns-net. They say you can register for free, but I bet the renewal is cash-out-da-ass…..
By Sum Dum Dik, July 13, 2011 @ 8:16 pm
dashworlds.com to save you a step…
By Caracicatriz, July 21, 2011 @ 11:33 am
http://www.whiotv.com/nationalnews/28607916/detail.html
Badeth boys Badeth boys
What art thou goingst to doeth
What art thou goingst to doeth
When they comest for thy
By Sum Dum Dik, July 24, 2011 @ 9:23 pm
jammin to some Alan Parsons Project befor-ist I goest to bed. See what you can do with that….
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 5, 2011 @ 9:45 pm
Kill that mumbo jumbo, time to rumble in the jungle
Shootin shotguns at the leopards, even lions is the shepherds
Now I ain’t got time to tell her, but I’m chillin with Magilla
And I don’t mean at the pet shop, but up in Harlem at the wet shop
Eatin on this side of wetson’s, spendin all my loot, with the Jetsons
Even the robot drank some oils, so she can lubricate her coils
Tarzan did his best, to bust a nut and beat his chest
He was lookin me up, so I hunted him down
Then I told everybody in the town I said
Unga bunga bunga G! (Unga bunga bunga G!)
Say unga bunga bingo bonga! (Unga bunga bingo bonga!)
Say unga bunga bunga G! (Unga bunga bunga G!)
Say unga bunga bingo bonga! (Unga bunga bingo bonga!)
Think you said rabbit had to have it, broke all his fingers at the lab an’
No hand to shoot his gun-a, so he couldn’t catch my runner
So he called out to Speed Racer, but he had no gas to chase her
Then they started doin flips, to Gladys Knight and the Pips
Ring ding dong, ring-a-ding-ding-ding-doooooooong
Ring ding dong, ring-a-ding-ding-ding-doooooooong
Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaav, stop this crazy thing!
Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaav, drop this song you sing! Say
Unga bunga bunga G! (Unga bunga bunga G!)
Say unga bunga bingo bonga! (Unga bunga bingo bonga!)
Say unga bunga bunga G! (Unga bunga bunga G!)
SAY UNGA, BUNGA, BINGO, BONGA, BINGA, BANGA, BUNGA!
SAY UNGA, BUNGA, BINGO, BONGA, BINGA, BANGA, BUNGA!!
(UNGA, BUNGA, BINGO, BONGA, BINGA, BANGA, BUNGA!!)
Say unga bunga bunga G! (Unga bunga bunga G!)
SAY UNGA, BUNGA, BINGO, BONGA, BINGA, BANGA, BUNGA!!
(UNGA, BUNGA, BINGO, BONGA, BINGA, BANGA, BUNGA!!)
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 5, 2011 @ 9:47 pm
You need to look into adding the WYSIWYG widget to the site, El Robbo. This plain text shit is boring.
By Chaoz, August 6, 2011 @ 1:36 pm
well – I thought the bold face and italics we’re working.
(which you should see)
No if you’re talking going all [code] - which it seems what your trying to do - ok I'll take a look on what I can do.
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:36 am
Looks like part of it was my totally shit interweb connection. Fucking third world hell holes really need to put off bettering themselves and dragging their people out of the more and instead set to work on bringing we arrogant tourists first class broadband.
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:37 am
mire not more, fucking drunken fingers.
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:47 am
:: limbers up drunken singing voice ::
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:48 am
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
Well I’ve been sitting here all night long,
And I’ve been singing to every song.
I ain’t asked for nothing yet,
Now all I’m asking is one request
Turn it up
Turn it up
Draw a crowd I could crawl into,
You don’t know what I’ve been through.
Turn it up, I don’t want to hear what I’m thinking tonight.
I let my woman move in last fall,
Now she don’t ever let me touch her at all.
She’s been picking at me all day,
I came here to get out of her way.
Turn it up
Turn it up
I think that woman might of lost her mind,
Someday I’m I’m afraid she’s gonna cross the line.
Turn it up, I don’t wanna hear what I’m thinking tonight.
Well I’ve been walking on eggshells baby,
I’ve been losing my mind.
She’s been driving me to drinking lately,
I’m drinking all the time.
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:55 am
Turn it up
Well I’ve been fighting these angry mobs,
Holding down a couple dead-end jobs.
Well they can sure keep me down alright,
They can’t keep me from rocking tonight.
Turn it up, boy
Turn it up
Draw a crowd I can crawl into,
I’m afraid of what I might do.
Turn it up, I don’t wanna hear what I’m thinking tonight.
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
hm hm hm hm hm
Turn it up
Turn it up
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:57 am
damn drunken, totally shit copy paste skills
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 12:58 am
Fly low ye carion crow
Seize my body for the dead I owe
Drop me high into the depths below
For the things I’ve seen no one else should know
It’s just you and me and my rib-caged brain
We polish the brass and we dust the pain
And we lay down fallow like slaveless chians
And they call us sick as though they’re all so sane
So fly low ye carion crow
And seize my body for to free my soul
And drop me high into the depths below
For the things I’ve seen no one else should know
And what speak you of a love so bold?
And if song could sing, no word could hold
But I warn you now of an end foretold
And a life long waiting for a death below
So fly low ye carion crow
And sieze my body for it lives no more
And drop me high into the depths below
For the things I’ve seen no one else should know
For the things I’ve seen no one else should know
For the things I’ve seen no one else should know
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 1:00 am
They who made you, they made me too
Quiet like you, violent like you
I see you there, wild in my dreams
When you return, go to the sea
Air is your permanent struggle to breathe
When you return, go to the sea
Gone, gone, gone, you were never alone
I’ll come home and raise you up to what’s left
Gone, gone
Ghost of your voice finally rests
Open your eyes now to all that is left
Don’t be afraid now, you won’t need me
You’ll be at peace now, at last from the sea
You will forget eventually
The life that you wasted that led to the sea
Gone, gone, gone, you were never alone
I’ll come home and raise you up to what’s left
Gone, gone, gone, you were never alone
I’ll come home and raise you up to what’s left
Gone, gone
They who made you, they made me too
I see they can make us again
By Sgt. Patrick O'Neill, August 21, 2011 @ 1:06 am
Well mates, it took most of a year to figure it out, but I have decided that flying a desk instead of being in the thick of it, is for poofters. It might be a while before you hear from me again, but since I have managed to make it this far after all these years, hear from me again you shall.
Stay safe, and do not pay too many non-personal electric bills, nor churn too much butter while chasing too many shapely ankles.
By Sum Dum Dik, August 21, 2011 @ 3:36 am
Hurry back, my friend. AND STAY SAFE! Tis always a joy to hear from you. Now this butter-churning ankle-chasing poofter has to get back to his desk job…
By Chaoz, September 16, 2011 @ 5:58 pm
testicles
By Sum Dum Dik, September 16, 2011 @ 6:56 pm
OK, Alex….um, what is “The thing I want back from my ex the most”??
By Chaoz, September 16, 2011 @ 7:42 pm
LOL – $500!
Actually my testicles are fine where they are (attached still to me). However, I can see why you would answer that way. Women love control and control over a man is ‘hot damn’ for them.
You would be utterly amazed (or not) by some of the crap my all female team vomits out. They’re careful with language but you can read what the underlying subtext of what they mean. Woof.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 16, 2011 @ 9:53 pm
TEST MOTHERFUCKING TEST
Ground control to Major Tom, commencing count down engines on.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 16, 2011 @ 9:58 pm
OK, looks like when I post with IE, Firefox or Chrome, I either get “you must be logged in to post” or it just ghost posts and nothing ever turns up. However under Opera everything is hunky dory.
I am going to rip this Winblows shyte off my machine and put on Ubuntu. Cantankerous as it was I seriously miss my old Macbook.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 16, 2011 @ 10:23 pm
Like my new avatar? I chose it because my new “boss” is the spitting image of Colonel Klink. All the bastard needs is a nazi uniform and a monocle. And on top of that he is a milquetoast panicky asshole who comes screaming for one of we people who know our ass from a hole in the ground when anything slightly upsets him. We have all taken to whispering the classic “SCHULTZ!!!” line when ever he bellows for one of us.
I am sick to death of playing nursemaid to retarded fobbits. If the prick cannot hack the pressure he should not be here in the first place.
So El Robbo or Sum, your work place hiring?
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 17, 2011 @ 7:04 am
Hey El Robbo. I cannot update wordmess until your web host updates your versions of PHP and MYSQL, if they can or will.
By Sum Dum Dik, September 17, 2011 @ 11:23 am
I might be looking for a new gig in 6 months or so, so I’ll keep an eye out for ya.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 17, 2011 @ 9:06 pm
Excellent Sum, in 6 months I might be in the brig for striking a superior officer . . . repeatedly . . . with an axe.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 17, 2011 @ 9:14 pm
Well shit El Robbo. Custom logo, making all the plug-ins play nice together and getting wordmess updated to the newest version all hinge on you getting your provider to update you to the newest versions of MYSQL and PHP.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 17, 2011 @ 11:55 pm
Old timer, Old timer
It’s oo late to die young now
Old timer, five and dimer
Trying to find a way to age like wine somehow
my new stuff is nothing like my old stuff was
and either one is much when compared to a show
which will not be as good as another one you saw…
so hell me, i know, i
know, i know
I am an old timer, old timer
it’s too late to die young now
old timer, five and dimer
trying to find a way to age like wine somehow
I meant every fool that ever signed
their name up on these walls in the backs of these beer halls and concert halls.
I been threw seven managers,
five labels, a thousand picks and patch cables,
three bands, a band, a bunch of guitar stands,
and cans, and cans, and cans of beer, a bottles of boozes and bags of pot,
and a thousand other things that I forgot.
I thought that I be dead by now… but I’m not.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 18, 2011 @ 12:07 am
Well shit. It looks like once again my free time has popped up while you lot are off subduing rabid “hootie girls” or paying every electric bill in the South West. Or sadly having a good kip as you poor wee bastards have to get up early tomorrow to keep a roof over your heads.
Oh well. Since I have some down time, and going anywhere outside is about as appealing as wandering over the dark side of the moon, I guess I will stay here and natter at this electrical plastic box for awhile, while my higher brain functions dissolve gently in high grade alcohol.
By Sum Dum Dik, September 18, 2011 @ 12:16 am
Sorry, lad – just had to go do some chores. If you find anything “interesting” just post it here and we’ll have a look-see. And by “interesting”, I mean she should be hot, young, and nubile.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 18, 2011 @ 12:18 am
Hank Williams, he came up, from Montgomery
With a heart full of hard luck country songs
But Nashville, Tennessee, they didn’t Understand him because he did things
Differently then the way they were done
but when he finally made it to the Grand Ole Opry… he made it stand still.
He ended up on alcohol and pills
Elvis Presley, he came up from Jackson
With a brand new way of singing
A brand new way of dancing
And even from the waist up, he gave the world
A thrill… he ended up on alcohol and pills
Alcohol and pills
It’s a crying shame
you’d think they might have been happy
with the glory and the fame
the fame don’t take away the pain
it just pays the bills
and you wind up on alcohol and pills
Janis Joplin, she was a wild and reckless
Then there was Gram Parsons, then there was Jimmy Hendrix.
The story just goes on and on.
I guess it always will… they ened up on Alcohol and pills
Alcohol and pills
It’s a crying shame
You’d think they might have been happy
With the glory and the fame
The fame don’t take away the pain
It just pays hte bills
And you wind up on alchol and pills
Sometimes somebody won’t wake up one day
Sometimes it’s a heart attack
Sometimes, they won’t say
When they pulled poor old Hank Williams
Out of that Cadillac Coupe de Ville
He ended up on alcohol and pills
Alcohol and pills
It’s a crying shame
You’d think they might have been happy
With the glory and the fame
The fame don’t take away
It just pays the bills
And you wind up on alcohol and pills
… on alcohol and pills
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 18, 2011 @ 8:55 am
Whoops, sorry Sum. I wandered off to find something to eat and got distracted.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 18, 2011 @ 11:11 am
logo idea
http://waffenpiffle.blogetery.com/
By Sum Dum Dik, September 20, 2011 @ 7:46 pm
I thought for sure you were going to say you got *someone* to eat…
By Chaoz, September 20, 2011 @ 11:00 pm
Old timer, Old timer
It’s oo late to die young now
Old timer, five and dimer
Trying to find a way to age like wine somehow
Aw damn – direct to the ego. LOL. Actually this is a fucking great song. Plus Todd Snider is just a year older than me (10/11 vs my 10/27). Once again I am in awe of your awesomeness.
Most likely – if I update Wordmess the MYSOL and PHP will be updated along with it. Or not.
I’ll save it for this weekend – so I’ll let everyone know if I update and it turns to shite is Fearless Leader over here fucking with Creation.
…. saw the logo idea.
OH FUCK. I love it!!!!
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 22, 2011 @ 4:04 pm
“I thought for sure you were going to say you got *someone* to eat…”
Sadly not around here. Maybe in another week or so.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, September 22, 2011 @ 4:23 pm
Yeah El Robbo, Snider has a way of writing songs that really kick you in bollocks.
Ok, be careful on the update because if you force the wordmess 3.2 on older php and mysql it will crash the site.
So if you break it you bought it .. oh wait, you already own it.
Well then, to quote the legendary dyspeptic Joe Don Baker, “Go ahead on.”
And thanks and glad you like the logo. I did most of it over a year ago and had forgotten I had gotten that far with it.
By Sum Dum Dik, September 23, 2011 @ 9:05 pm
Here is a little shout out to all my exes in Texas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s05jcrJw0as&feature=related
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, October 2, 2011 @ 2:40 am
Whoa. Now that is definitely old school there Sum Alung A Ding Dong.
Here is an even older and moldier blast from the past:
I go window cleaning to earn an honest bob.
For a nosey parker it’s an interesting job
Now it’s a job that just suits me, a window cleaner you will be.
If you could see what I can see
When I’m cleaning windows.
The honeymooning couples too, you should see them bill and coo.
You’d be surprised at things they do
When I’m cleaning windows.
In my profession I work hard, but I’ll never stop.
I’ll climb this blinking ladder ‘‘til I get right to the top.
The blushing bride she looks divine, the bridegroom he is doing fine
I’d rather have his job than mine
When I’m cleaning windows.
The chambermaid sweet names I call, it’s a wonder I don’t fall.
My minds not on my work at all
When I’m cleaning windows
I know a fellow such a swell, he has a thirst it’s plain to tell.
I’ve seen him drink his bath as well
When I’m cleaning windows
In my profession I work hard, but I’ll never stop.
I’ll climb this blinking ladder ‘til I get right to the top.
Pyjamas lying side by side, ladies nighties I have spied.
I’ve often seen what goes inside, when I’m cleaning windows.
There’s a famous talkie queen, looks a flapper on the screen.
She’s more like eighty than eighteen
When I’m cleaning windows.
She pulls her hair all down behind, then pulls down her, never mind
After that pulls down the blind
When I’m cleaning windows.
In my profession I work hard, but I’ll never stop.
I’ll climb this blinking ladder ‘til I get right to the top.
At eight o’clock a girl she wakes, at five past eight a bath she takes.
At quarter past my ladder breaks
When I’m cleaning windows.
By SCHULTZ!!!!!!!!!!, October 4, 2011 @ 10:17 pm
Cold rain down on my face
Buses hurry on
Work’s out here comes the race
People heading home
Wait a second, don’t I know you?
Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?
You seem to be like someone I knew
Yes, he lived here but he left
When he thought that there was more
Than cold rain and nowhere to go
Many people share
Sad dreams and hopes that are stained
By the sulphur in the air
Don’t I know you?
Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?
You seem to be like someone I knew
He lived here but he left
When he thought that there was more
Than cold rain out on the streets
I am all alone
With cold rain down on my face
I am heading home
By Sum Dum Dik, October 8, 2011 @ 11:32 pm
Well I tied my baby to the railroad tracks…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLXNcFnYIJ0&feature=relmfu
By Sum Dum Dik, November 20, 2011 @ 5:35 pm
Cannon Ball down the line….
By Chaoz, November 20, 2011 @ 5:57 pm
AC/DC? Sum – didn’t know you had it in ya!
Then again you know an upcoming Playmate so – you’re obviously +100 in the Rep dept.
By Sum Dum Dik, December 11, 2011 @ 6:42 pm
Yeah, this song never fails to pump me up.
How is everything down there in Chaoz Land??