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CelebrityFIST! » Archive for WTF?

Archive for the “WTF?” Category

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You know, if you look at this long enough it almost makes sense.  But what do I know?  I’m nuts.

Anyway, in case you’re brain is refusing to register this image (and with good reason) its Betty White in a metal bikini wielding a flaming chainsaw as she rides a centaur John Ritter.  Really.  And its was ACTUALLY published:

The Portland Mercury, an entertainment magazine in Portland, Oregon, asked readers to take a poll about what they’d like to see on the cover of an issue. Artist Andrew Zubko executed their vision with this magnificent illustration.

I may have to consider moving to Portland because I thought my head was screwed on wrong.  :shock:

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TARGETS ACQUIRED:  MICHAEL LOHAN … KIRSTEN DUNST … AUDRINA PARTRIDGE … DIABLO CODY … CARREY & MCCARTNEY (more…)

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my right wing is busept to ted (carpal tunnel sucks) so is video day since embedding is easy.  Plus my comments will be kept to a minimum.  sorry peeples!!

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Kirstie Alley … Andrew Koenig … ‘Chaz’ Bono … Miley & Bret … Tiger’s Hoes

(more…)

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TODAY: Whitney Houston … Gary Busey … Jennifer Lopez … Miley Cyrus … Jennifer Aniston (more…)

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Remember how I mentioned in passing yesterday about Hilary Duff getting engaged?  Yeah, I still don’t remember who she is but I DO know that she likes diamonds.

ALOT

Note to self: keep a box of well polished zirconias in glove compartment

Obviously dude saw this on Family Guy:

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The Fisties For 02/17/10

Ewan McGregor … Kristin Cavallari … Bacon! … Jennifer Garner … Tiger Woods

(more…)

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FUCK! The night before xmas and all thru the house
Some creatures were stirring but no fuckin’ mouse
 
The sole stocking was hung on the chimney in disgust
(Done simply because it was a Xmas must)
 
I was nestled alone all snug in my bed
As visions of blowjobs danced in my head
Drunk on my ass after many nightcap
And settled my brain in an alcohol nap
 
When out on the lawn I heard a bunch of shit
Disrupting my slumber of cum splattered tit
I staggered from bed to see what’s up
Spilling some tequila I had in a cup
 
Then I heard some horses tearing up my roof
Shingles were falling from each fucking hoof
I managed to open my eyes and did see
Santa falling down my chimney
 
So I grabbed my poker that I had had nearby
And started bashing the fucker in the eye
Blood splatter the fur he wore all around
I knew that this was his last stop in my town
 
He looked up and said “Chaoz, it’s me!”
And I told him, “Well, fuck yeah I can see.
But you fucked up this time of year
With illusions of goodness and holiday cheer.
 
 People are miserable and think they can buy
Some person’s kindness in a blink of an eye
But love can’t be bought nor can it be sold
(though sex can be - or so I am told)
 
So sorry fat man but you simply must go
Besides nowadays who ever gets snow?
I heard whimper away until he stop and I knew
That he had now go on to his heavenly due
 
I went to the chimney and shouted above
“The fat man is dead now who wants some love!”
The deer understood me and got the fuck out
Leaving the damned sleigh as they scatttered about
 
The season is not about buying some stuff
Its about knowing who’s got your back when its rough
So I see Santa’s corpse and all I can say is:
“I wonder what I shall do on Valentine’s Day?
- Chaozengine Enterprises (c) 2009


Haven’t done a Something Different post in ages; so here’s something that doesn’t make you laugh; nothing can.  Though I concede after seeing this as many times as I have, alcohol helps.

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Today has NOT been a good day.  No details but suffice to say I’m about to drink a beer I’ve never had before.  64 ounces for $2.49, that’s all I cared about (960ml, give or take for you metric folks).  I need quantity not quality today.

How could this day get any shittier? (more…)

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