CelebrityFIST!

He’s trying to get to third base with himself. ICK!

In an effort to put some beefcake into the blog (and maybe increase female readership ‘yeah right‘) here’s Alex Rodriguez in Details Magazine fresh from his “Yeah-I-did-steriods” apology tour.  In these photos he poses with the only person who’s worthy of his attention - himself.

I’m all for “self-love” but this guy takes it too far.  I seriously think he’d kiss himself if he could.  Then again, these pics are from Details, which is kinda like a GQ-lite; for the metrosexual in you - so every pic has to be like half-gay.

Dude ‘Beijing Brown’ TOTALLY rocks!  WHOOO!

Now Michael Phelps, the dude?  Party on, bro!  He likes trash women (read that someplace) and knows how play the bong, bro!  Unfortunately, the pothead got a major buzzkill when he got busted with a dude taking his picture while toking up.  Worst, the hozer sold it to News of the World.  Man, unrighteous…

As NOTW reports it…

In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong.

The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis. (Personally, I’ve NEVER seen them used for anything else! - UC)

And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER.

Those dreams seemed the last thing on his mind when he puffed from the bong during two days of partying with students last November, a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.

See the dude shoulda stayed on the down low or even come up with a disguise you know like those movies?

Having never done pot, I don’t see the attraction.  ::shrugs::  Now, booze?  Well, different story…

According to People magazine, this is not an ad for the latest Jessica Alba movie but a new ad she’s in for Declare Yourself which apparently wants us to do something (I think voting but I’m not sure).

“I think it is important for young people to be aware of the need we have in this country to get them more active politically,” says Alba. “People respond to things that are shocking.”

The dramatic image “really resonates” with the issue of voting, according to the 27-year-old star. “If you don’t register and vote and make a difference, and hopefully change the bad things that are happening in our country, you are essentially just binding and muzzling yourself.”

Okay, I guess it is about voting.

…

Well, this ad works either way. If you have the hots for Jessica; seeing her in bondage delights the kink in you.

Or, you’ve gotten tired of all her bitching and are just glad she’s finally got her damn mouth shut.

Guess which side of the fence, I’m on!

I could achieve that position in my dreams.  NOT!

This is something more a “local” flavor so pardon me in advance.  From ContactMusic:

EVA LONGORIA-PARKER is so desperate to have babies with husband TONY PARKER, the couple are “practicing” like crazy. After swatting away rumours of Parker’s infidelity just weeks after their wedding, the actress insists the couple are smitten - but she laughs off reports she is already pregnant. She says, “We’ve got big families. I can’t wait and we’re practicing a lot. But I’m not pregnant. If I was I would singing it from the rooftops.”

In “unrelated news”, Tony Parker is out indefinitely with a bone spur in his left heel.

Um, aside from the irony of a Spur being taken out by a spur … Tony, you and Eva need to stick to normal positions.  Shit, cut down the trapeze and stay on the fuckin’ bed next time, okay?