CelebrityFIST!

*sigh* Why are people so full of shit.  (Look this is quick rant - just skip to the pics - your call)  Anyway, had one person call in on my yesterday.  Today that person showed up but ANOTHER called in.  And now I just got a call that a THIRD person is calling in tomorrow.  Why?  In each of these cases their snot-nosed brats are sick. 

Fine I’m bias - not let me bitch.  Guess what?  We all got bills.  Sucks when a kid is sick I get it - but unless you got no relatives or unless your kid got hit with a Mack truck and is in the hospital, sorry, I’m playing my “asshole” card.  Yes, I’m single.  Yes, I don’t have a regular fuck.  Yes, I know kids “are a gift from God”.

I didn’t inseminate the uterus okay?  Deal with it.

*ARGH*  Okay that’s outta the way (for now).

The Golden Globes apparently happened.  The reason I’m so on the ball with this is because there’s red carpet pics abounding on the Net.  So in my effort to continue to pretend this is a CELEB blog (and not just titty blog - which we all know it is).  Let’s post some of these pics shall we?

Jennifer Morrison

Perrey Reeves

Sofia Vergara

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Okay, you really don’t give a shit where she’s at right?  Actually, you don’t give two hoots and a holler about where these people are. They could be a Walmart in the photo department getting some pictures done.  Frankly, I feel the same way - so we’re doing away with specifics (though I keep the details on file so I don’t duplicate my own crap).

So, who’s Dianna Agron?  Well apparently she’s on the tv show Glee (which is a rip-off of High School Musical which is  rip-off of Grease which is … you get the idea).  Anyway, she went to the same party as Anna “Jonah Hex” Paquin so I thought I’d give her her own spot.

This one is kinda (semi-)hard.  She’s a little hottie but that dress is … well.  Let’s just say I’d pluck her then fuck her.  Sound about right?

I’d also stuff her.  Pour some my gravy on her.

… you know I’ve got like a page of this stuff but you know what I mean…

“With a rebel yell, she cries more more more…!”
Do you remember back in the day when Anna Paquin was cute?  No?  Well just go with me on this one okay?  At one time she was ‘cute’.  Not hot, just cute.  Well she’s all grown up and … well … uh … you know when animals are little they’re cute and fuzzy wuzzy?  Then they grow up and basically stop being cute?

Well Anna is definitely an example of that in homo sapiens.  I’m not saying she’s ugly.  I’m just saying its a good thing she’s not a dog or a cat.  Really.

Apparently God has decided to smite Tila Nguyen for not offing herself a few weeks back (like she promised) and has given her a nasty case of titty warts*.  She accidentally showed off her titty warts at Snoop Dogg’s release party.  Apparently also at this party Tila is now ‘engaged’ to the heiress of the Johnson & Johnson fortune.

Tila Tequila Nguyen has been known for her public stunts – and her possible latest took place last night on her uStream account where she announced her engagement to Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. “This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first — Tila army fans — tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!” she said in her video post. (sauce)

BTW, Casey is the blonde Tila is canoodling with in these pics.  Yeah, that’ll actually happen.  The board would ship Tila to a Nike shoe factory in Vietnam before having the ‘marriage’ happen.

And yeah, I SO fuckin’ went there.

*-yes I know about the glands of Montgomery…

Well it took long enough but were at the end of the VS Show and we end with Miranda Kerr.  Appropriate since she started this run with those pics I accidentally got.  By the way, these are really big also and quite plentiful (everyone does seem to love Miranda).  So enjoy after the jump! (more…)

“All you need is Love, Love / Love is all you need…”

Do I bother with the obligatory “She can bring the ’swane’ and I’ll bring the ‘poel’” joke?

…

Is that even a joke?

…

Look, I’m sober and it’s a Tuesday night.  What do you expect me to do?  Oh, get a beer?  Sounds like a plan, BRB!!

I’ll just take a breast and a thigh to go please…

Sometimes, I’m just left speechless.

Heidi Klum made a comeback of sorts to the runway by walking in this show.  She looks good (not great - but were talking ’supermodel’ standards here).  Hell, she looks better than 90% right now - throw in the fact she’s popped out quite a few kids.  All the more impressive.

Honestly though I’m not sure what the deal is with her outfit.  She’s either supposed to look like she’s walking among the clouds … or she has two French poodles humping her leg.

Could go either way.

Okay continuing where I left off last night.

Let’s start with a little Counting Crows Doutzen Kroes.  What?  Like you didn’t think of that as well? (more…)

Part II - Alessandra Ambrosio.  Sorry not as many pics of her but huge ones (pics that is) nevertheless. (more…)