CelebrityFIST!

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.  I’m on beer 5, Patron is waiting for me and why is it that everytime I have more than 5 people in my life I have to *snip* self-baleeted for content

Demi Moore; outside David Letterman Show (04/20/2010) - it’s too bad she’s such a twat otherwise she’d still be worth fapping too (for a Barbie doll)

Kellita Smith; Stuff US (02/2003) - only because we need more black women on the site.  And I DO love’em dark (and lite, and mocha, and cream, and red, and …)

Rie Rasmussen; Elle US (05/2010) - there a bunch of sets in Elle this month.  All shit except for this one.

Kate Bosworth; Palm Springs (04/19/2010) - She looks good for a 14-year-old.  Uh, too bad she’s 28. 

Lets end on an ‘up’ note:  Ashley Roberts; washing her car in Santa Monica (04/19/2010) - HOLY SHIT!  Btw, someone forgot to block out her license plate in pic #8.  OOPS!

Yeah I know I rarely post solo stuff anymore.  But I’ll make an exception here because of - well, it’s WEIRD!

This is Sarah Hyland.  She is at the “Furry Vengeance” premiere in Westwood on 04/18/10.  Originally these were going straight to the dumpster for - what I thought - was underage.

Uh-uh, she’s 20.  … Twenty?  … Really??  (checks Wiki)

Nope, 20.  So I thought I’d post them and ask you guys if she looks legal - cause to me she sure as hell doesn’t.

Sorry had to go get some beer to take with my Xanax … mmm, “Quadruple Equis” is gooooooood….
Okay, here’s a second dose for today (since the first was at about 1am).  Enjoy!

Laetitia Casta … Audrina Partridge …  Jennifer Love Hewitt … Marisa Miller … Amanda Seyfried

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Geez Louise, I thought Lady Gaga wasn’t a looker.  Crap.

Well, this (and I use the word loosely) is Ke$ha Sebert and she has the #1 song in America right now.  I don’t know the title of it because its irritating and it sucks.  Seems, like either me or America is wrong.  And I know it ain’t me.

Anyway, this pics were taken at the NME Awards and if you think these pics are scary, try this thought:  It took a bunch of stylists and cosmetics to make her look this ‘good’.  Imagine what’s underneath it!!

Happy Hedgehog Day from ChaozCentral.  What?  “Groundhog Day”?  Nah, we don’t these lame ass holidays here.  Instead of the fat ass groundhog we use a lovely hedgehog we found on the side of the road in Tuscaloosa.  So his name is ‘Tuscaloosa Tim’.  And no, we don’t check the fucking weather with Tim.  Nope, the rules are simple - if Tim talks, every man will get a blowjob in the next 24 hours.  If he doesn’t talk, we no such luck.

Let’s see … Okay Tim - DO YOUR STUFF!

“…”

C’mon.  Just one syllable.

“…”

SHIT, well maybe next time guys!  How about some eyecandy instead!  Tomorrow, I’ll be showing you how to hedgehog burgers!!  Bon Appetit!  Pics after the jump!! (more…)

I see a pattern forming here….

No wait that’s just my spinning.  Never mind.  Enjoy! (more…)

Still tripping (and drinking) but before I get too blitzed…

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Well we had a Gratuitous yesterday so lets go a little more Celebrity.  Don’t worry there’s one nude set in this mix so you all don’t fall asleep during this post.    Enjoy!! (more…)

Julia Roberts (x1), Cameron Diaz (x1), Heidi Klum (x3, with husband Seal), Zoe Saldana (x1), Julie Benz (x1)

Kate Hudson

Mariah Carey (and her ‘talents’)

Anna Paquin (with someone who is surely NOT her dentist)

Penelope Cruz (x1), Heather Graham (x1), Stacy Ferguson (aka Fergie, x1)

“It’s coming up, it’s coming up, IT’S THERE…”
Okay so she’s actually been legal since 9 January, she didn’t hold her part til the 16th.  For those of you who didn’t make it out to the bash in Vegas here’s a few pics of her.

She actually turned 21 so its not like a big deal - she just can now buy alcohol legally.  Though I’m sure she’s probably been buying it since she was 16 and probably had her ‘people’ buying it for her before that.  Eh.