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The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
Just letting ya know I’m stills alive. And drunk. And its fucking wet and cold outside.
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Sounds like my ex-fiance.
Tiger Woods is on indefinite hiatus from golf. I give him credit - it takes a loooooong time to remove a golf club from you ass - head first.
Bisexual has-been Aubrey O’Day tries to pick up Samantha Ronson (Lindsay’s ex) - and fails. Okay here’s a question - what’s worse: going after Lindsay’s sloppy seconds or FAILING to get them?
Three-year-old Suri Cruise in heels. Meanwhile somewhere in Switzerland, Roman Polanski is counting the days til he gets a ‘photoshoot’ with her.
Kim Kardashian doesn’t know the difference between teeth cleaning and teeth whitening. Dumb bitch.
Yes, I know I’m not helping. And yes, there are far more attractive women than her. And more sexy. And more intelligent. And more talented. And more sober. And more healthy. And smell less like a tobacco processing plant. (more…)
Great thing about gettin’ drunk at home? You can get ticketed for SWI (surfing while intoxicated). However, then you have to wonder $600 worth of electronics you don’t need (true story). (more…)
Okay - maybe it doesn’t leak. Still, Lindsay Lohan’s ability to be hot is decreasing exponentially is currently proportional to angle of declination of her mammary glands! (Translation - more sag, more hag)
The fact that she’s only 23 is astonishing and yet I’m ever hopeful that as her star quality sags (so to speak) the probability of getting her to do a blowjob on tape increase (which I would sell ensuring a supply of beer lasting … well maybe a month).
I realize that the jailbait quotient recently has been a little high. And it’s not going to go down with this post…
Ali Lohan is shown here taking home groceries. Now, why are pictures of a burnt-out chick being posted? Well, I’d like to remind you that she’s only 15 (DOB 12/15/93 - I actually checked to make sure).
You know there’s different ways of looking “older than your age”. This is easily how NOT to look it.
First of all she doesn’t even look like a Lohan (I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a compliment or not). Her lips look like they’re freshly collagenated. Her face has such a weird tan to it that it looks like someone placed her face first onto a stove. Plus she’s got that emanciated look that looks like a coked-out model that’s had one purge too many.
…
All in all this is a REALLY bad look on anybody. On a fifteen year old who should (theoretically) have a … YOUNG look, she instead comes across as someone desperately trying to maintain her relevance after a long career (Geena Davis comes to mind for some reason).
Then I realize she’s Lindsay Lohan’s sister so I can only assume Dina (their ‘blessed’ mother) is responsible for this look. Yeesh. At the rate Ali’s going she’s gonna look like Jenna Jameson by the time she’s 18.
[insert obvious sucking comment here]
I’m currently on my seventh beer. Don’t worry, I’m off tomorrow (and Sunday). However I’m still sober enough to yu[r (I mean ‘type’). (more…)
I like Lindsay Lohan. I’d like to fuck Lindsay Lohan. I’d like to do things to Lindsay Lohan that are probably illegal in several countries involving licorice whips, tapioca pudding, and scuba gear (don’t asK).
That said, Lindsay as Marilyn Monroe? No way Jose. Lindsay’s not even in the same ballpark. She’s not in the same league. Hell, Lindsay’s probably not even playing the same sport as Marilyn.
You fuck Lindsay but “make love” to Marilyn, dig?
Anyway, here’s some pics from Vogue Spain apparently touting her as such. Well, then again these twits are the same people who destroyed the Aztec and Incan cultures so go figure. (Yes, I know they’re my ancestors too but this is the Indian side of me talking so fuck off).
…
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Fuck. Now I need a virgin. You know how hard it is to find those nowadays? Its not like I can dial 1-800-A-VIRGIN you know.
Sadly, she was disappointed that the white frosting was JUST frosting…
Okay, so she’s looked better. … And healthier … more life-like… than now. The great thing is that despite all this death, destruction, famine, and pestilence; it’s Lindsay Lohan’s birthday! (more…)
There are few celebrities that could support a blog with ONLY their antics. Britney’s one. Paris is another. This unholy triumverate is complete by the one and only (thank God) Lindsay Lohan. Hell, while I was vacationing, she’s managed everything from stealing jewels (which she has apparently been cleared of doing), freaking out at clubs, managed to get all twittering celebs BANHAMMERED out of Avenue (because she apparently saw Justin Timberlake making out with someone NOT Jessica Biel) - her response “she was hacked”.
Of course, the only thing hacked is her throat … and her vagina … and her ass … … possibly her underarms…
Oh, and she got locked out of her girlfriend (boyfriend?) Sam Ronson’s house. Again.
Now I know the headline is the equivalent of “The Sun rises in the East. AGAIN!” but I think in this case its actually funny. As I bumble and stumble through the various gossip news Lindsay Lohan is easily on one of two tracks:
Complete reconciliation with Sam Ronson and a wedding to follow.
Complete mental breakdown and on the Britney Spears Train to Looneyville
… I’m not a doctor (but I play one in bed ) but this woman must be schizoid.
…
And yes I would STILL fuck her. If only to see if I could perform a tantric exorcism on her that would chase away the lesbian succubus that has infiltrated her body. See? I’m just like Ghostbusters, except with sex - and I’m younger - and poorer.
As a treat(?), I’m giving you a picture dump of Lindsay so enjoy, or not. Whatever. (more…)
is in already in trouble with the law. That took what, 30 minutes?
) but this woman must be schizoid.
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