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The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
Pamela Anderson learns not to fuck with Uncle Sam. Of course, too bad she didn’t learn that with Tommy Lee before she got The Hep. (OOPS!) Actually, to be truthful she owes California that (so actually “Uncle Ahnald”) and its about half a million dollars. Wow. Who knew a washed up, diseased hoe could earn enough to OWE that much. Oh wait - never mind, “California” - got it.
Holly Madison gets a ‘bobblehead’ of her own. With the start of this year’s baseball season (a sport which I stopped caring about around 1979); everyone needed a ‘notable’ to throw the first pitch. Appropriately, the Las Vegas 51’s (named after Area 51 - the so-called secret alien housing unit) picked someone not quite of this planet to throw out the first pitch. And they also gave out bobbleheads of their “guest of honor”: Holly Madison. Tru-fact - the bobblehead contains the same percentage of plastic as the ACTUAL Holly! How’s THAT for engineering!
Larry King is an old fucking idiot. I say that not outta jealousy since he’s been married (and soon to be divorced) eight times whereas I’m still waiting to get married once. Nope. He’s an idiot because he not only cheats on his wife. He cheats on her with HER SISTER. Plus - he HAD NO GODDAMN FUCKING PRENUP!! (facepalms) As Charlie Sheen is alleged to have said - “You don’t pay a hooker for sex, you pay her to leave in the morning.” In the long run that’s better than HALF YOUR SHIT.
[quick sidebar: Forgot to mention but I bought a 12-pack tonight and currently on #10. So if I fall asleep suddenly - well you know.]
Sigourney Weaver is a dude. And a sexist one at that since she says the reason her svengali James “Kirk” Cameron “Mitchell” lost the Oscar for Best Picture (Avatar) to the winner (The Hurt Locker) was because the director was a woman. … What? For the record, I started watching Avatar - got a phone call and walked out of the theater - didn’t go back in. Frankly, its boring as shit drying. Sorry. It’s kinda like a porn star - great for about 15 minutes but do you really wanna stick around 2.5 hours?
THE FIST OF 02/15/10 MechaHeidi Montag … Blake Lively … Robert Patterson … Tila Nguyen … Kevin Smith …
MechaHeidi celebrates Valentines - well in this case ‘celebrates’ means inviting photographers to take pictures of your overall-ed ass (literally) in ’sexy’ lingerie. Well I’m sure its sexy lingerie if it was on anyone else OTHER than Heidi Montag. Also, I’m pretty sure she can’t get too close to any open flames without the possibility of MELTING.
Blake Lively has decided she wants to take her clothes off for Playboy! There’s a hitch … well, 2.5 MILLION hitches to be exact. Seems Blake wants a big payday for going ‘full monty’ in the magazine. Now, if I were Hef (and I ain’t); I’d say $2.5M? No problem but I want the WHOLE ENCHILADA (if you know what I mean). This “coyly hiding” behind mud and handbras? No way. I’d tell her, “get up on the stirrups - and now work it!”
Robert Patterson: “I’m allergic to vagina.“- … BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No really, this is easily the stupidest quote of the year. Even if he is gay (and he still refuses to admit it), its an idiotic quote. I can imagine him breaking out in hives if he gets wind of bad fish.
Tila Nguyen almost died again - like totally!She apparently fell and ‘dented’ her head (like anyone could tell on her deformed skull to begin with). Shit you know, when she finally kicks the bucket - I’m seriously not gonna believe it. And knowing this dented bitch she’d STILL manage to Twitter from the Great Beyond/Abyss (depending on your belief system).
Kevin Smith is fat. Yeah I know not really news but he’s “officially” too fat for Southwest Airlines. Now after Smith went Twittershit, Southwest caved in like a pussyified boyfriend and apologized. The thing is though I’m a kinda chunky guy so you have to be REALLY FUCKIN’ FAT to get kicked off of Southwest. I’m just sayin’.
One’s of these pictures is Jo Ann Worley - betchya can’t tell which one.
Its bad enough when a star “valiantly” comes out of the closet (to much boredom); but when people are trying to out someone who was never ‘in’ in the first place? BORING. Case in point: Adam Lambert. Dude finished second in American Idol which can only mean he’s gonna have a better career than the winner (who was it again?). Anyway, Kara DioGuardi (who’s the newest lame judge) decided make sure everyone knew Adam was gay anyway.
“I don’t think that Adam was ever in [the closet],” she says in a taped interview airing Friday on ABC’s The View. “I think he was always openly out.”
Walters then asked again if Lambert — who has never publicly said he’s gay — “was always openly out.”
“I think he was,” DioGuardi replies. “I mean, from what I’ve seen … I do. I never thought he wasn’t.”
Asked by Barbara Walters whether Lambert’s perceived sexuality may have influenced Idol voters, DioGuardi says, “Well, first of all, I hope not … because we should be judging on talent and viability in the music industry and they both [Lambert and winner Kris Allen] had that. (USMagazine)
So maybe he lost because he’s gay. Well - DUH! Most of the people who watch these shows are either teenieboppers who get wet for just about anyone, old folks with nothing else better to do, or idiots who are so vacuous that they’d vote on Best American Chimp show.
Well the FB came by earlier (no, that ain’t her up there) tried to help me relax. Moving on…. David Hasselhoff nearly dies of alcohol poisoning (Celebslam) - AGAIN. Poor guy will get right eventually. And yeah I’m sounding like a total hypocrite since I’m beer number 3 right now. Shut up.
Trent Reznor is getting married (ContactMusic) - wow. That’s kinda weird hearing; it’s kinda like hearing your stoner cousin who always stays locked up in his room is getting married. Srsly, best to him and his bride-to-be. Wow. Feel like I’m REALLY behind the curve now.
Megan Fox shows up in at Esquire in print and video (Egostatic!) - at this point there’s no denying that Megan is hot piece of ass. That said, just get nude already. I’m bored. Really.
Robert Downey Jr to play the OTHER role he was born to play - Hugh Hefner (GoneHollywood) - this one is a no-brainer. That makes me wonder; what happens when Hef passes on? Who gets to become the next Playboy? … Better revisit my resume.
Pink is not a lesbian! Is too.Is not.Is too. Is not times infinity! (TheSuperficial) - you get the idea. I say put Pink in a room with candlelights, champagne, and Kelly McGillis. Give them 15 minutes and Kelly will get to bottom of it … or her. Or whatever.
Hugh Jackman named his Mr. Winky “James Roger” (AllieIsWired) … what? “Mr. Winky” is a perfectly good name for a penis. What do you name yours!?
Hayden Panettiere had some shit stolen (Celebslam) - of course the prevailing joke is this leprachaun got her pot of gold stolen. Well, I’d take her pot of PINK anyday of the week. Where are those DAMN roofies????
From FoxNews (hey, I get the news whereever I find it):
Kelly McGillis told the Internet show Girl Rock! that she was single, and in the market for a female partner.“Definitely a woman,” she said when asked if she’s looking for a man or a woman. “I’m done with the man thing. You need to move on in life.”McGillis, 51, has been married and divorced twice, and has two daughters with her second husband, Fred Tillman.
The actress said coming out as a lesbian was “an ongoing process from the time I was probably 12.”
She added that “I had a lot of things happen that convinced me that God was punishing me because I was gay.” McGillis was attacked and raped in her apartment in 1982 when she was a young actress working in New York.
The actress also told Girl Rock! that now that her daughters are grown, she’s looking to get back into acting, but is having a hard time - because she won’t dye her hair!
The only reason this is even news to me is that it seems that the only person who didn’t know Kelly was a lesbian … was Kelly. I could’ve sworn I knew this for about 20 years now (srsly). I think it was when Witness came out (w/ Harrison Ford). I shrugged, thought “okay”, end of story.
Plus isn’t Top Gun like the gayest movie ever (before Brokeback Mountain anyway)??
Tori Spelling is NOT anorexic! Well thank goodness for that! On the downside, she must have ebola or HIV because the bitch is SKINNY! And not even ‘good’ skinny; but like “I need a TPN with 1000kcal stat!“ (see school came in handy there!).
This is her take on her illness the non-news:
“Oh my God, I’m not anorexic. I acknowledge that I look thin in photos. I get it. Obviously I don’t want to lose any more weight But people haven’t seen me not pregnant in two and a half years. I’m eating healthy, I just have a crazy lifestyle.
“I’m so blessed to have as many jobs that I have, but I do agree that there needs to be some downtime. I’m the first to admit that sometimes I don’t have the time to sit down for a well-balanced meal. Usually like you kind of just finish whatever your child doesn’t eat. I’m like, ‘Cool, you have a few pieces of hot dog left and one broccoli floret and a fry, I’ll take it.’ “
Hmm. She’s ‘eating healthy’ but doesn’t have time for a ‘well-balanced meal’. Interesting, how the fuck do you pull that off?
Well, bits of weiner, broccoli, and fry do not make a ‘well-balanced meal’ … unless you’re a cadaver. Which, in this case, she’s well on her way to her target weight of zero.
Maybe she needs to trade in the bolted sacks of silicon she calls breasts and exchange them for bags of Ensure - at least that way all she has to do is suck on her tit for nourishment.
Well the pictures of Brooke Hogan made the rounds on the Internet last week (which I basically ignored since I was knee deep IRL shit). Fortunately, (sugar) daddy Hulk Hogan made it possible to keeps those photos relevant by talking about his … support … for her career.
“I try to make it to as many of Brooke’s performances as possible. I support her and everything that she does. I’d watch my daughter perform no matter what she does.” (Life & Style via Celebslam)
Umm, ooooo-kay.
Of course, my first response would be “fine, I’ll pay her a $1000 to give me a blowjob while you watch”. Two problems with this:
He might take me up on it.
He might enjoy it MORE than I do.
Granted, Brooke’s mouth ain’t worth a grand (unless I get video rights), but even then I’m afraid daddy Hulk will start giving her pointers mid-fellatio (”Now remember sweetie to suck hard on the head … like that time I told you afterschool.“)
I laugh now that Miley Cyrus was bitching that everyone though there was something improper about her and her dad’s relationship. I don’t recall Billy Ray Cyrus rubbing suntan oil on Miley’s ass (though I might pay to see that).
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