CelebrityFIST!

Ah, who can forget the halcyon days when Carmen Electra started as a singer and Prince protege?  No really, it’s true!  I actually bought her “Go-Go Dancer” EP when it came out eons ago (it sucked, but she was hot on the cover).

Well since then, Carmen’s exposed herself more times than a burlesque dancer and Prince has had 42 names changes.  I guess it little surprise that she’s starting to get a little paunchy.  Maybe it’s too much of that melon she’s eating.

Or semen.  Either way.

Where here she is in Greece (the country, not the cooking kind) basting in the sun and not a airbrush to be found.  However, it seems like she knows she’s being photographed since she strikes an extended leg pose for no apparent reason.  Ah, such modesty…
You know if someone can make bodysuit that works like a walking version of Photoshop - that person will become the richest dude on Earth.  Hmm, gives me something to work on now. 

Remind me to go to Arby’s tomorrow.

How do I say this nicely?  … Jennifer Aniston is the girl in college who fucked everyone on God’s green earth so she could be popular then wondered why she none of the guys stuck around. (more…)

Toughest part of ‘Fridge Raider’?

Keeping her skinny enough to move to the next level.

Ooookay, I’m joking.

Actually I saw these posted and the one person put down “she looks really good”. 

Huh?  Look, I’m not one of those idiots that just fucks girls that look so anorexic that they’re willing to suck my dick just to get the protein out.

I mean I DO.  But I like thick girls too.  Except this one who actually had the ‘balls’ to tell me that semen had like a thousand calores per ejaculate so she didn’t give head for that reason; because she’d gain weight.
SAY WHAT?

Look, I tell you why you’re chunky.  QUIT SUPERSIZING (sorry “LARGE-sizing“) that Value Meal!!  Don’t blame my man-milk on that shit.  Hell, why we’re at it.  If you’re gonna blame sperm on that shit; HOW MANY GALLONS OF THAT SHIT DID YOU SWALLOW IN HIGH SCHOOL, BITCH?

…

But I digress…

I like chunky girls too.  The point is that if you ARE chunky; um, you probably don’t wanna go around wearing pants that look like you tore through them - literally.  Especially if you’re a has-been child star whose best days are behind her and the best you can hope for in the near future is VH1 ‘celebreality’ shows and the ‘leaked’ sex tape. 

J.Lo’s quick thinking prevented the boat from capsizing…

So I’m sifting though my FB’s records - actually her ex’s.  I’m trying to sort some 300 vinyls to find out what’s what, and then find out what’s even fucking playable, and even THEN - what’s fucking sellable.

… kinda like Britney Spear’s music career… (more…)

“…so you can be ready anytime the moment is right.”

Okay, this is one of those ideas that sounds good when you start out and then as you put into reality - well, it just doesn’t quite come together.  Kinda like ‘world peace’, amirite?

So Katie Price is with her newest boy toy/blowjob recepient topless in the pool.  The first thing you’ll notice is that she apparently has no nipples.  I can only conclude that the density of her silicon finally created a small gravity field which sucked the nipples inward.

This is where having an ‘innie(s)’ is NOT advantageous. 

On the plus side, women coming off a bad relationship tend to need company, attention, and the desire to justify their attractiveness so they’re great for one-night-stands.   I just haven’t figured out the right alcohol:xanax ratio (damn tablets keep sitting in the bottom of the glass).  Damn you solubility factor!!