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The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
So another workweek clutches its chest and keels over dead. Hmph. Could be worse, coulda been me keeled over.
Anyway, getting ready to start posting and rummaging through pics and realize that Bianca Gasciogne looks very much like an older skankier (well, slightly older and slightly skankier) version of Miley “Virgin” Cyrus. In case you’ve forgotten (and I don’t blame ya) - Bianca is the daughter of some big time soccer player and fucker of Eurotrash the world over.
So is Bianca going doing a Miley or has Miley chosen her mentor? Why would you care? Why would I care?
Well, I don’t - I just need a little time to post something more worthwhile. Hang on. Hang on.
Alright, when we last left Brooke Hogan (possible tranny and little shy of talent) she was attempting to embark on her new recording career. (Sorry, “second album” - didn’t even know bitch released one before -eh) And that’s using the term loosely. Apparently, she’s still doing this because she has now released her first latest music video (aren’t WE lucky ):
I really can’t recommend listening to it since my eyes started bleeding at about 2 minutes. Not as bad as Heidi Montag’s mess of a video but that’s like saying a 10 kiloton nuke is not as bad a 15 kiloton nuke.
Of course, the real jem here is the “album cover” (once again a loose term): (more…)
No, that’s NOT Brooke - but you THOUGHT it was, didn’t you?
Brooke Hogan loves Daddy. Alot. Watch Brooke suck Daddy’s metaphorical cock. See Brooke suck REAL hard. Brooke knows how to suck Daddy right. From ContactMusic:
HULK HOGAN’s daughter BROOKE has come to her father’s defence after he was accused of likening his ongoing divorce battle to O.J. SIMPSON’s murder trial.
The former wrestler was forced to clarify comments he made in a new Rolling Stone magazine interview after causing a stir with his thoughts about the disgraced sports star.
But Hogan’s daughter, Brooke, is adamant her father’s words have been twisted by the press - insisting the star would never say anything so inflammatory.
She tells ETonline, “I cannot believe how blown out of proportion one small part of a seven-page article has become. It’s a classic case of a quote being taken out of context. I look up to my father in every way. He has been through so much and has taken the high road through it all. The idea that he would condone the O.J. situation is just outrageous.”
See Brooke look up at Daddy while sucking metaphorical cock. Daddy likes Brooke. Brooke hopes Daddy won’t forget Brooke come time for next reality show. Brooke wonders whether to deep throat it…
Tori Spelling is NOT anorexic! Well thank goodness for that! On the downside, she must have ebola or HIV because the bitch is SKINNY! And not even ‘good’ skinny; but like “I need a TPN with 1000kcal stat!“ (see school came in handy there!).
This is her take on her illness the non-news:
“Oh my God, I’m not anorexic. I acknowledge that I look thin in photos. I get it. Obviously I don’t want to lose any more weight But people haven’t seen me not pregnant in two and a half years. I’m eating healthy, I just have a crazy lifestyle.
“I’m so blessed to have as many jobs that I have, but I do agree that there needs to be some downtime. I’m the first to admit that sometimes I don’t have the time to sit down for a well-balanced meal. Usually like you kind of just finish whatever your child doesn’t eat. I’m like, ‘Cool, you have a few pieces of hot dog left and one broccoli floret and a fry, I’ll take it.’ “
Hmm. She’s ‘eating healthy’ but doesn’t have time for a ‘well-balanced meal’. Interesting, how the fuck do you pull that off?
Well, bits of weiner, broccoli, and fry do not make a ‘well-balanced meal’ … unless you’re a cadaver. Which, in this case, she’s well on her way to her target weight of zero.
Maybe she needs to trade in the bolted sacks of silicon she calls breasts and exchange them for bags of Ensure - at least that way all she has to do is suck on her tit for nourishment.
Well the pictures of Brooke Hogan made the rounds on the Internet last week (which I basically ignored since I was knee deep IRL shit). Fortunately, (sugar) daddy Hulk Hogan made it possible to keeps those photos relevant by talking about his … support … for her career.
“I try to make it to as many of Brooke’s performances as possible. I support her and everything that she does. I’d watch my daughter perform no matter what she does.” (Life & Style via Celebslam)
Umm, ooooo-kay.
Of course, my first response would be “fine, I’ll pay her a $1000 to give me a blowjob while you watch”. Two problems with this:
He might take me up on it.
He might enjoy it MORE than I do.
Granted, Brooke’s mouth ain’t worth a grand (unless I get video rights), but even then I’m afraid daddy Hulk will start giving her pointers mid-fellatio (”Now remember sweetie to suck hard on the head … like that time I told you afterschool.“)
I laugh now that Miley Cyrus was bitching that everyone though there was something improper about her and her dad’s relationship. I don’t recall Billy Ray Cyrus rubbing suntan oil on Miley’s ass (though I might pay to see that).
Remember when Billy Joel married Christie Brinkley? All us ugly ass motherfuckers (you know who you are) figured that we too had a shot at a supermodel. Of course, then reality came shitting on us again like a catcher in a German schissen video and realized that Billy Joel used his secret superpower (money) to win her over.
Well, fast forward to today. This here is Alexa Ray Joel. Yup, she’s the spawn of the two celebs. Looking at her she coulda done a lot worse in the genetic lottery (see: Rumer Willis); but DAMN - those Joel genes are strong aren’t they? Especially in the nasal department!
Maybe I’m getting more desperate mellow in my old age but she really doesn’t look half bad. Ok, so she’s got them ‘birthin’ hips’ and that outfit is quite atrocious. Other than that, well I’d probably hit after a beer (or three) … and some Viagra. Last thing I need is her telling her daddy I couldn’t perform under ‘pressure‘ with his little ‘uptown girl‘.
I will say she seems to clean up nice. Only confuses my ‘Mr. Winky’ even more! :O
“My Daughter, My Lover” - the new book from Redneck Romances, Inc.
Sometimes the best bits of snarking just land at your feet. Kinda like bird shit … or the economy.
Anyway, Miley Cyrus (bless her redneck little heart) seems to have stepped into it. Again. This time, she bemoans the fact that people think there’s something icky going on between her and her dad (as in “anatomy lessons”)…
Teen queen Miley Cyrus doesn’t like to hear comments insinuating there’s something icky between her and her famous father.
In her new memoir, Miles to Go, the actress/singer says that it bothers her when people suggest there’s something inappropriate about her relationship with her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.
“The media has said some stuff about my dad and me being too close and too cuddly for a father and a daughter,” the 16-year-old star says in the book. “For me and my dad it’s not weird at all.”
Buzz about their relationship began at the time of her now-famous Annie Leibovitz shoot for Vanity Fair. In addition to posing for some semi-nude photos, she was seen reclining against her father with his arm around her shoulder.
Miley also says that she gets hurt reading Internet stories that criticize her, saying that some people are “so full of anger, hatred and bitterness.” (Star Magazine)
WELCOME to the Real World snook-ums!!
First off, yeah that’s a weird pic. I made a joke (as many did) and I moved on. The fact that she is smarting (still) from this (which happened over 900 years ago) makes me think two things:
she needs to retire NOW. She can’t handle this heat? Shit - wait til she turns LEGAL!!
it sounds like this insinuation struck a nerve - why is that? Hmmmmmm.
Frankly, I don’t think Miley’s actually doing her dad (Jessica Simpson and her dad? Welllllllll…), BUT the more you try to squash a ridiculous rumor - the more likely people assume its true.
The other I have screaming in my head is … “sucks to be on the OTHER end of shit, doesn’t it?” I have a tough time believing that while she’s grown up she hasn’t at least thrown her daddy’s ‘fame’ in somebody’s face. Sorry, even saints were human once…
These pics of her and her dad supply NO rumor fodder WHATSOEVER!!!
Next up is the dog-faced boy!
Important safety tips:
Never eat hot wings unless they are FRESH
Never, EVER eat them reheated
NEVER EVER NEVER do tequila shots immediately after eating said wings
Which explains why I haven’t been around the last couple of days. My ass felt like the poor guy that Boy George had locked up for awhile. OUCH!
But enough about me, seems like Brooke Hogan has managed to parlay her TV time as a ‘reality star’ (peroxy-moron) into an actual career!
Well, wrestling actually, like her dad, BUT …
we have to tell you that Brooke and her VH1 handlers are shooting an episode of Brooke Knows Best at the Florida State Fair on Feb. 6. Buy your tickets now!
Wilson Media tells tbt* and The Juice* that the deal is “90 percent done,” but Hogan is “due to wrestle” Rick Flair’s son in a circus tent after the last show of the day by Circus Hollywood. Now that shows some promise. (TampaBay.com)
I can just picture it now…
Elmer: Oh land o’ goshen! That Broke Hogan is gonna rassle at the fair! We gotta get areselfs some tikets for dat!
Polly: Oh, Elmer, we can’t do that! You promised to take me to see the freakshow so I can see my cousin Zeke!
Elmer: Well, shoot, Polly! Its in the same tent! Ya forgit that Broke is a guy who looks like a girl!
Ever known people you just WANT to hate on but can’t? Like a Ned Flanders person? You wanna hate him but when he comes out on top you kinda think “that’s cool”. Well, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are like that for me. I remember when I heard they were getting married I though “yeah yeah, whatever, give a month”. Well, now it’s been like 50 years and not only are they together but they have two cute kids. And HOLY SHIT, they actually KEEP THEM OUTTA THE SPOTLIGHT? You mean no “exclusives” to People or US? Oh I feel faint!
Seriously, even these pictures are too fucking cute for me. But given that there IS an infinite amount of alternate earths (based on the Uncertainty Principle and Schoedeger’s Cat Paradox); on some Earth Gwen Stefani and I are married. Hell, on another Gwen and YOU are married (feel better about your worthless life? Nah, me neither.)
So, let’s just pretend this is another other Earth: Here are pictures of Gwen and our kids at the park.
You know those machines where two people get in and get a picture taken and then we see what their kid is suppose to look like? The computer had a better image that time.
I was gonna post something about Britney and her putting her life together by putting a restraining on both her ex-manager (Sam Lufti) and ex-boyfriend/papparazzi (Adnoids Ghalib).
On the other hand this stood out. Rumer Willis at the Push premiere. Ya know, the MC of the Golden Globes (or was that last year? I frankly don’t care) and all that? I actually feel sorry for her. No really. She’s got her daddy’s chin and mother’s forehead (or is it the other way around in reverse?). Hell maybe her forehead IS on her chin. I dunno. Anyway.
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