Some pics just to ‘weretarded’ to comment

Well everyone’s favorite meltdown/comeback has now started her ‘awesome’ Circus tour and the the first review is in from People who started their review with this sentence:

Don’t call it a comeback quite yet.

Ouch, I thought we bloggers are supposed to be snarky!

Now, mind you she started on home turf (New Orleans) but never quite found ‘her zone’ (boldface mine):

Descending from above in a red ringmaster-meets-dominatrix outfit to sing her hit “Circus,” she showed that her body was tight, even if her dancing always wasn’t. Indeed, throughout the show’s four sections, there was a lot more strutting than real choreographic feats from Spears. And there was a decided lack of joy in her performance, which felt labored at times.

It didn’t help that she hardly engaged the audience, not addressing them at all until after her lone encore, “Womanizer,” performed in sexed-up cop uniforms. Given that Spears probably doesn’t do much live singing either, it left a definite chill in the air.

When she wrapped the concert about 90 minutes after emerging, she seemed more relieved than anything that it was all over.

Well, that should just leave the hardcore Britney fans and the carwreck gawkers left for the rest of the tour.

My guess is she doesn’t even finish the tour; cancelling for “exhaustion” or some such.

Oy vey!  Lindsay Lohan’s a Jew? (Yeeeah!)

Pete Wentz (aka Mr. Ashley Simpson) thinks someone is out to kill him … duh.  (Daily Mail UK)

Sneak Peek at the tour of the year:  Britney’s Circus - yawwwwn  (AllieIsWired)

AND KFed is along for the ride! - where’s my popcorn?  (SocialiteLife)

Octomom prefers a reality show over 24-hour child care?? - where’s my low yield nuke?  (LA Times)

There’s moments when you simply have to wonder how stupid Britney Spears is.  Bless her trailer trash soul, even solidly on the ‘comeback’ track she still manages to make people scratch their heads.  Did she eat a mercury thermometer?  Did she land on her head once too many times?

See, she - hell, just read this… (from USmagazine.com)

Britney Spears is putting on a magic show!

The pop star will be sawed in half — among other stunts — on her upcoming Circus tour, according to E! News.

“Right away, she got into the boxes and into the magic contraptions to learn the stuff, and she’s so excited about this tour and all the elements that are in it,” illusionist-comedian Ed Alonzo said.

Spears will serve as Alonzo’s assistant during the bit, but that won’t stop her from missing out on the fun.

“If I do a trick, she doesn’t just hold the props, she’s actually getting inside the big boxes or I am slicing her up.”

He added: I “made [the tricks] really easy for her, but there are some complicated things that she is doing that you would think a contortionist would have to do, or a trained magician’s assistant. But because she’s a dancer, it really makes sense to put her in the magic, and it works and she’s really, really good at it.”

Almost makes ya wanna get the popcorn out.

“Mr. Alonzo! Mr. Alonzo!  I figured out how to do the guillotine trick!  Watch!” *SLICE* (her head rolls down the stage)

…on the other hand it does make me wonder how much she learned from her stint fucking working with Criss Angel.

How do you spell ‘FAIL’?  A-D-N-A-N
Britney’s former lover(?) Adnan Ghalib is probably gonna be busy for awhile seems in a l-i-t-t-l-e trouble with the Po-po.

Britney Spears‘ ex-admirer Adnan Ghalib is facing felony charges for allegedly hitting a process server with his car as the guy tried to present Ghalib with the Spears family’s restraining order against him, according to Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office spokeswoman Jane Robison.

Ghalib was charged Tuesday with assault with a deadly weapon, battery and hit-and-run for the alleged Feb. 11 incident.  … Ghalib is facing up to seven years in prison if convicted on all charges.

Per the criminal complaint, Ghalib started to drive toward the man, who, in order to avoid being pinned against a garbage truck, jumped onto the hood of Ghalib’s Mercedes. Ghalib swerved and the alleged victim fell off, breaking his wrist and sustaining other injuries. The defendant then drove away without stopping.  (E! Online)

If you look at the link it sez “Adnan charged hit and run of Britney”.  Yeah, right.  But hey, you gotta get attention somehow with TMZ looking all the good stories recently.

Anyhoo, with any luck we won’t have to see his sorry ass until the next Star Trek picture with William Shatner. 

Couldn’t happen to a better person…

You can almost see the calories move from one to the other!

One of the fundamental laws of thermodynamics (I think, I was too busy looking the tits of my study partner to give a shit) was “Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.”  Apparently, that applies to FAT as well.  See, Britney Spears has lost a LOT of weight recently and … well, it had to go somewhere.

So in what can only be viewed as either karma or a weird form of symbiosis, her ex-leech Kevin Federline has apparently become the repository for Britney’s fat.  It is unknown whether he is charging her rent on said fat or if Britney ever intends on getting it back.  It is also unknown if this was acheived via some sort of osmotic pull or if he actually ate part of Britney.  The scientific community however should look into this immediately as it could become used to explain so many ultra-skinnies in Hollywood.  Its possible that Oprah may be another of these “centers of fat” as well.

Hmm, maybe it’s even a CONSPIRACY!  The “Illumifati”!!

Gallery from TheSuperficial:

It’s been eons since I’ve done a Britney post.  Hell, me and Britney are REEEAL tight.  It says so according to the biorhythms on Facade.com: