CelebrityFIST!

Some women are so touchy at ‘that time of the month’…
I love fucking relationships with younger women.  Why?  Well, shit if you ask that question then you’re probably gay.

Actually a good reason is because they’re single.  Most of the women my age are either married or divorced (some times several times over).  Its bad enough to deal with a chick and a psychobaggage but divorcees are like that x10 (and if kids are involved fergetit).

However, some women don’t feel that way; take Evan Rachel Wood she has some interesting viewpoints about older men:

Actress EVAN RACHEL WOOD has called her romance with rocker MARILYN MANSON “a bad idea”, suggesting young girls shouldn’t date much older men.  And she’s speaking out about age-gap romances.

She tells WENN, “I don’t think it works. I think it’s a bad idea. I think as long as you learn from it - good or bad experience - it’s an experience, and you should take something away from it.”  And her viewpoint on romance with much older men is shaping the roles she plays - Wood insists she’d have turned down the chance to work with Woody Allen on his new film Whatever Works if her character’s relationship with Larry David’s went too far.

She explains, “I spoke to Larry about it and told him if the relationship went any further sexually I wouldn’t have done the movie… That’s one of the things that I liked about the relationship in the movie; it never crosses that line or gets creepy.” (ContactMusic)

Uh-hunh. 

So she disses all older men because she chose the weirdest fucking guy on the planet?  That’s like choosing not to drive any vintage cars because YOU chose to drive the Ford Pinto.  You know the damn thing is fucked up and then you drive it anyway?

Well look missy.  I am sorry if you probably have prolapsed rectum from all the buttseks that he gave you with a strapon (because you know his junk’s small) and those waxburns on your vulva won’t heal but don’t go blaming all of us older men for YOUR fuckup.

Are we clear on that?  Good.  Because if you get a chance, give me a call babe. 

Of course, the reason Brett Michaels isn’t happy is that he was playing the Tony Awards.

…

No wait, that’s not right.  I’m he was playing at the Tonys (why?) but he’s actually mad because he got the shit knocked outta him by a piece of staging.  No. Really.

BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (more…)

Ok, full disclosure first - yes, I would fuck Megan Fox if the opportunity arose.  I wouldn’t even think about it.  Now granted I’m at the point though where I’d do it more because she’s a celebrity but I thought I just throw that out there.

That said…

Megan Fox really needs an attitude adjustment.  Kinda like the one that a trusty baseball bat might be able to bring about.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but look at the examples of her mega-bitchiness: (more…)

(this post is from under the influence of 2 Lone Star and 2 Miller High Life beers - you have been warned)

Okay, so the FB brings in this baby nephew of hers and … oh sorry - wrong post. 

Um - oh yeah - Katherine Heigl is a dumb bitch. (more…)

In a perfect world, that snake would’ve eaten them

Ya I don’t like touching these two and you don’t like reading about them.  Too bad.  The reason I’m posting this is to let everyone know just how big of douches Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt are.  Seriously.  They’re beyond Britney douchery (though Britney should douche judging from my previous post). (more…)

Poor little bitch girl.

From US Weekly:

Jessica Biel says her good looks are hurting her career.

“Yeah, it really is a problem,” Biel tells the June issue of Allure magazine. “I have to be blunt.”

The actress — whose latest film, Powder Blue, (in which she plays a stripper) is going to straight to DVD — isn’t handed plum roles.

“I’m in there with everybody else, fighting for the good parts. Yes, The Illusionist has made a difference — but a huge, massive difference, so I can pick and choose what I want? No. I just want an opportunity. If you don’t like the audition, don’t hire me! But if you don’t want to even see me — that’s hurtful. And why? You know nothing about me!”

Um … okay - too hot to get good work.  Riiiiight. 

But wait!  It gets better from the same Allure (IMDB):

Jessica Biel regrets dropping out of college to pursue an acting career, and would ditch her Hollywood dreams if she could start over. Biel, 27, enrolled for courses at Massachusetts’ Tufts University but quit school within a year-and-a-half to film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a 2003 remake of the 1974 horror film.

And Biel still scolds herself for turning her back on her school books despite her success as a Hollywood actress - because she missed out on making memories with her peers.

She tells America’s Allure magazine, “I wish I would have had that time that my girlfriends all had. I wish I would have lived in that crappy, nasty brownstone that they all lived in. If I had to do it again, I would have stuck around and finished it out.”

Jessica, sweetie - let me tell you a little secret about being an actor/actress.  Ready? (more…)