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CelebrityFIST! » CelebrityFIST! News Of The Day For 04/16/10 (Post-Tax Ed.)
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Apr 16 2010

CelebrityFIST! News Of The Day For 04/16/10 (Post-Tax Ed.)

Posted by: Chaoz in In Denial, Just Say No, Cheating Hearts, Whore-lywood

Pamela Anderson learns not to fuck with Uncle Sam.  Of course, too bad she didn’t learn that with Tommy Lee before she got The Hep.  (OOPS!)  Actually, to be truthful she owes California that (so actually “Uncle Ahnald”) and its about half a million dollars.  Wow.  Who knew a washed up, diseased hoe could earn enough to OWE that much.  Oh wait - never mind, “California” - got it.

Holly Madison gets a ‘bobblehead’ of her own.  With the start of this year’s baseball season (a sport which I stopped caring about around 1979); everyone needed a ‘notable’ to throw the first pitch.  Appropriately, the Las Vegas 51’s (named after Area 51 - the so-called secret alien housing unit) picked someone not quite of this planet to throw out the first pitch.  And they also gave out bobbleheads of their “guest of honor”:  Holly Madison.  Tru-fact - the bobblehead contains the same percentage of plastic as the ACTUAL Holly!  How’s THAT for engineering!

Larry King is an old fucking idiot.  I say that not outta jealousy since he’s been married (and soon to be divorced) eight times whereas I’m still waiting to get married once.  Nope.  He’s an idiot because he not only cheats on his wife.  He cheats on her with HER SISTER.  Plus - he HAD NO GODDAMN FUCKING PRENUP!!  (facepalms)  As Charlie Sheen is alleged to have said - “You don’t pay a hooker for sex, you pay her to leave in the morning.”  In the long run that’s better than HALF YOUR SHIT.

[quick sidebar: Forgot to mention but I bought a 12-pack tonight and currently on #10.  So if I fall asleep suddenly - well you know.]

Sigourney Weaver is a dude.  And a sexist one at that since she says the reason her svengali James “Kirk” Cameron “Mitchell” lost the Oscar for Best Picture (Avatar) to the winner (The Hurt Locker) was because the director was a woman.  … What?  For the record, I started watching Avatar - got a phone call and walked out of the theater - didn’t go back in.  Frankly, its boring as shit drying.  Sorry.  It’s kinda like a porn star - great for about 15 minutes but do you really wanna stick around 2.5 hours?

Aw fuck - I’m too drunk to finish it.

Hey at least I’m honest!!

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This entry was posted on Friday, April 16th, 2010 at 3:22 am and is filed under In Denial, Just Say No, Cheating Hearts, Whore-lywood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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