FUCK! The night before xmas and all thru the house
Some creatures were stirring but no fuckin’ mouse
The sole stocking was hung on the chimney in disgust
(Done simply because it was a Xmas must)
I was nestled alone all snug in my bed
As visions of blowjobs danced in my head
Drunk on my ass after many nightcap
And settled my brain in an alcohol nap
When out on the lawn I heard a bunch of shit
Disrupting my slumber of cum splattered tit
I staggered from bed to see what’s up
Spilling some tequila I had in a cup
Then I heard some horses tearing up my roof
Shingles were falling from each fucking hoof
I managed to open my eyes and did see
Santa falling down my chimney
So I grabbed my poker that I had had nearby
And started bashing the fucker in the eye
Blood splatter the fur he wore all around
I knew that this was his last stop in my town
He looked up and said “Chaoz, it’s me!”
And I told him, “Well, fuck yeah I can see.
But you fucked up this time of year
With illusions of goodness and holiday cheer.
People are miserable and think they can buy
Some person’s kindness in a blink of an eye
But love can’t be bought nor can it be sold
(though sex can be - or so I am told)
So sorry fat man but you simply must go
Besides nowadays who ever gets snow?
I heard whimper away until he stop and I knew
That he had now go on to his heavenly due
I went to the chimney and shouted above
“The fat man is dead now who wants some love!”
The deer understood me and got the fuck out
Leaving the damned sleigh as they scatttered about
The season is not about buying some stuff
Its about knowing who’s got your back when its rough
So I see Santa’s corpse and all I can say is:
“I wonder what I shall do on Valentine’s Day?“
- Chaozengine Enterprises (c) 2009
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