CelebrityFIST!

Talking about ’shooting your load’.  I don’t know where to go after this post for the next 23 days but since I found it I don’t want to lose it.  Its far too precious to not share.

I’m speaking of course of The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978).  I tried watching it but couldn’t get past the ‘guest stars’ Beatrice Arthur, Art Carney, Diann Carol, Jefferson Starship, and Harvey Korman (in multiple roles).

Seriously, save these links whenever confronted by someone who says that Star Wars was the best anything ever.  This will shut them up REAL fast.

I’m only going to post the first two parts up but I’ll set up a link for all 10

Fuck that I’m not looking to kill you all.  Here’s the first part of the TV special (which will give you enough info to know the dreck that follows).

And here is the undigested cherry atop this shit sorbet:  the “Happy Life Day” song

If you TRULY dare to watch the whole special it IS posted up (even Lucas doesn’t want to slap a copyright on this apparently) but be warned its 97 minutes long.  That’s right kids, its an official ‘unofficial’ movie - call it “Star Wars 1.5″.  Actually, call it anything you want just don’t call George Lucas for a sequel.  He’d probably shoot you.

I meant to put this up yesterday but got home late and had to take one of my cats to the vet (nothing major fortunately just allergies and a mild infection).  Anywho, here is my favorite christmas song of my all time.  Silent Night?  Nah.  The Christmas Song?  Please.

It’s the Misers’ Song from A Year Without A Santa Claus!

Here’s the original:

BTW, Snow Miser is (late, great) Dick Shawn and Heat Miser was George S. Irving.

I was gonna post the updated version for the live-action version but - well - it sucked so nah. 

PS - tru fact: I went by HeatMizer for a short time on the web.  There MIGHT be a post or two on WWTDD I don’t remember.  Never stuck with it though.

Okay, maybe not.

Anyway, a TV station in Taiwan decided to animate what could have possibly happened the night Tiger Woods decided to bounce his SUV off a fire hydrant and hit a tree.

Personally I think it had nothing to do with allegedly messing around with various women, having an altercation with his wife and crashing into said hydrant and tree as a consequence.

I think he was testing those front-end safety ratings for his next commercial.  Really.

Absolutely.

I was hoping for some giant robot to pop out or a bunch of big-breasted Asians to pop out but alas there were none to be found.  Silly, how else can you get those web hits?

Feh.  ‘Number 5′ called me earlier for no particular reason.  No not a booty call; she’s doing the work thing and wanted to know I was still alive.  How sweet.    For those playing at home, #5 is the only ex-gf I still actively talk to (that is voluntarily).  We have a good rapport and I don’t begrudge (I was a … oh what was the term - ‘an emotional vacuum’ - yeah that its it)  .  Anyway she’s moved on; I’ve moved on.  We don’t ‘Tiger Woods’ around or anything, but I don’t like calls unless you’ve got a point.  Sorry, I’m too fucking old for finesse games and too young to pretend I’m a dirty old man (yet).

Anyway, lets start looking at eye candy instead of hearing of ghosts, eh? (more…)

Yeah, you read it right.  And it’s pretty damn popular (8 million views in 10 days!).  I don’t how long it took those guys at Muppet Labs to do it but they may have found a niche; or at least struck a nerve with aging X’ers who still remember when there was still good shit on TV.  And I had to walk to school and all we had was transistor radios … and WE WERE HAPPY GODDAMMIT!
… gee, where I have I heard this shit before?

BTW, I’m currently drinking beer #2 of (checks label) Czechvar beer (which is Budweiser Budvar in the Czech Republic).  I have a question though.  Why do they put foil around the damn cap?  To make it see like your drinking a premium beer or is it a cheap ass way of hiding the fact that the beer your drinking is crap?

… and did I just answer my own question?

And stick around for the end (helluva a punch line).

Well, lets see its a Wednesday and I’m celebrating Thanksgiving again.  Sorta.

Basically I was already scheduled off last Thursday as a regular day off and my generous employer gives me a holiday to burn.  So I’m burning it today.  What am I doing?  Getting drunk of course. 

It IS Drunktember, ya know.

Anyway - I decided to start the blog a little early (since I’m drinking) and throwing this video out there only because its too damn goofy to pass up.  So if you like Lady Gaga or Eric Cartman or Chris Walken; then you’re gonna love this.

If not, well “screw you guys, I’m going home.” 

I do have to concede that this video actually makes watching a Lady Gaga video tolerable.