CelebrityFIST!

Capable of even turning off molesters…

I realize that the jailbait quotient recently has been a little high.  And it’s not going to go down with this post…

Ali Lohan is shown here taking home groceries.  Now, why are pictures of a burnt-out chick being posted?  Well, I’d like to remind you that she’s only 15 (DOB 12/15/93 - I actually checked to make sure).

You know there’s different ways of looking “older than your age”.  This is easily how NOT to look it. 

First of all she doesn’t even look like a Lohan (I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a compliment or not).  Her lips look like they’re freshly collagenated.  Her face has such a weird tan to it that it looks like someone placed her face first onto a stove.  Plus she’s got that emanciated look that looks like a coked-out model that’s had one purge too many.

…

All in all this is a REALLY bad look on anybody.  On a fifteen year old who should (theoretically) have a … YOUNG look, she instead comes across as someone desperately trying to maintain her relevance after a long career (Geena Davis comes to mind for some reason).

Then I realize she’s Lindsay Lohan’s sister so I can only assume Dina (their ‘blessed’ mother) is responsible for this look.  Yeesh.  At the rate Ali’s going she’s gonna look like Jenna Jameson by the time she’s 18.

Now I KNOW that ain’t compliment. 

Okay, okay - a little long in the tooth to finally do one of these.  Sorry for the delay. (more…)