CelebrityFIST!

I think she’s sending mixed signals…

Okay, something pretty simple this post.  Heather Graham is vacation somewhere.  Don’t know exactly where, but I know its at a beach and they have friendly douchebags that you can mount at anytime. (more…)

tick-tock, tick-tock / time to rock upon my cock

Now upon first glance, you would think that Chaoz here is nothing but a Dirty Old Man chasing barely legal flesh.

And, you’d be mostly right… (more…)

Ironically, I look a little like him - except a bit pudgier…

Writer-director John Hughes, Hollywood’s youth impresario of the 1980s and ’90s who captured the teen and preteen market with such favorites as “Home Alone,” “The Breakfast Club” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” died Thursday, a spokeswoman said. He was 59.

There’s more to the article but I cut it there.  See, I like most of Hughes’ films (except Home Alone, which I feel watching is torture under the Geneva Conventions).  To explain why I like them is kinda hard though.  However, the easiest way I can say is that at least in John Hughes films, the geek gets the girl.  Or the slut.  Or whatever.

Granted, that didn’t work in real life (though it came close a couple of times), but I don’t see mechanical automatons from another world that can transform into popular vehicles do battle on Earth either.  So, we all break even.

Rest In Peace, sir.  You’ll be missed. 

[insert obvious sucking comment here]
I’m currently on my seventh beer.  Don’t worry, I’m off tomorrow (and Sunday).  However I’m still sober enough to yu[r (I mean ‘type’). (more…)

“… because that deal didn’t go down the way you thought it would…”

A mighty shocking autopsy report concludes cocaine contributed to the sudden death of pitchman Billy Mays back in June.

Official documents show the following drugs were in Mays’ system — hydrocodone (Vicodin), oxycodone (painkiller), alprazolam (Xanax), nordiazepam (Valium), benzoylecgonine (byproduct of cocaine) and temazepam (anti-anxiety). Ethanol — alcohol — was also in Mays’ system.

A Hillsborough County press release says “from the presence of metabolites of cocaine and the absence of cocaine itself, it was concluded that Mr. Mays used cocaine in the few days prior to his death but not immediately prior to death.”

As you might expect, his family (specifically, his wife) was not pleased:

“We are extremely disappointed by the press release released by the Hillsborough County medical examiner’s office. We believe it contains speculative conclusions that are frankly unnecessary and tend to obscure the conclusion that Billy suffered from chronic, untreated hypertension, which only demonstrates how important it is to regularly monitor one’s health.

As those who were close to Billy knew, he had been in chronic pain for more than two years and was about to have his third hip surgery in 18 months. His use of prescription pain medication for his hip condition was guided by his physician and was at recommended usage levels.” (TMZ again)

Okay, this where ALL these other fuckers can’t touch me on…  (puts on mighty ‘druggist‘ hat on)

…we don’t actually WEAR hats but you get the idea…

Hydrocodone & Oxycodone - not minor league.  In fact, oxycodone is strictly ‘hardcore’ pain med.  If he was using this he didn’t have pain - he had ‘fuckin’ hellspawn pain.  Or, at least should’ve…

Alprazolam, (Nor)diazepam, Temazepam - TMZ is wrong on temazepam.  This is strictly used for sleep (insomnia).  The OTHER two though are anti-anxiety.  Plus, they’re in the same family; there’s no logical reason to be on both alprazolam and diazepam (alprazolam is a few times more powerful than diazepam).

Ethanol & cocaine - ’nuff said.

All that said - he had time to get his “chronic pain” taken care of but NOT his hypertension (high blood pressure)???  Who was his doctor?  Doctor Feelgood???

VERDICT - toxicology reports only detect narcotics and other illicits (I should know).  If he was on any antihypertensive medications, they won’t show up.  SO (my opinion only) - he either had a mega-quack for a doctor OR he was partying big time.  Or both.

Rob Lowe was looking for you earlier

Here’s Taylor Momsen (16) out and about in New York (16).  (more…)

Okay getting logistics outta the way.  I found this TheBlemish who found it on the DListed, so bitch to them first before griping to me.

This pic is of Noah Cyrus (9-year-old sister of 16-year-old Miley Cyrus) at a pre-party for the Teen Choice Awards that was held at Level 3 in Hollywood on Wednesday.  Noah is the one in the back left.
…

…

Where do I even begin???

Lets start with the notion of a “pre-party” for grade school kids on a school night.  Lets continue that with said “pre-party” held in Hollywood (that bastion of family fun).  What else am I missing?

Oh yeah - they’re posing around a goddamn pole like strippers!!  What the holy jumping jehosphat fuck??

Look, to be fair - its probably just a ‘regular’ pole but you’re gonna tell me the photographer just decided to use the pole as an object de photo?  ::keyboardhead:: (x8)
I don’t have kids - but if I saw my underaged kid in a photo like THIS; I’d beat the living shit outta the guy who took it?  WTF?!  No really.  This is probably the same type of dude who goes to kids side of water parks for some “artistic photography”.

Goddamn it another beer…