CelebrityFIST!

“…so you can be ready anytime the moment is right.”

Okay, this is one of those ideas that sounds good when you start out and then as you put into reality - well, it just doesn’t quite come together.  Kinda like ‘world peace’, amirite?

So Katie Price is with her newest boy toy/blowjob recepient topless in the pool.  The first thing you’ll notice is that she apparently has no nipples.  I can only conclude that the density of her silicon finally created a small gravity field which sucked the nipples inward.

This is where having an ‘innie(s)’ is NOT advantageous. 

On the plus side, women coming off a bad relationship tend to need company, attention, and the desire to justify their attractiveness so they’re great for one-night-stands.   I just haven’t figured out the right alcohol:xanax ratio (damn tablets keep sitting in the bottom of the glass).  Damn you solubility factor!!

90% of her photos are this EXACT pose.  Real talented…

Anyway, I WON’T be posting the pictures.  Her lawyers have hit a couple of places stating she was 17 at the time the pics were taken (HollywoodTuna and The Superficial).  Frankly, life’s too short and complicated right now for me to deal with idiotic shit like that.

However, I am a generous liege, you can locate the pics here, here, here, here, and here - until they get taken down.

Seriously, she just needs to drop trou, bend over, take some pics and then concentrate on her acting career.  Wait-
…

OH - NOW I get it!

Oh wait, my bad.  This isn’t the escort* I hired, it’s Ciara.  Who’s Ciara?  You don’t know who she is?? (more…)