And just a few months, she swallowing dicks like a porn star. *sniff*
Well, everyone’s my favorite wanking material Lindsay Lohan is all grown up. She’s gone from starring in bad kids movies, to starring in bad teen movies, to starring in bad adult movies. She’s gone from a pixie smile to a cum-ridden smile.
Now she’s got an engagement ring and marrying her girlfriend. Ah, sunrise…sunset.
…WHAT!!!!?
SAMANTHA RONSON says that she WILL marry lesbian lover LINDSAY LOHAN in the next six months.
Sam used her DJ slot at top LA hotel and night spot Chateau Marmont to announce the news, telling clubbers: “By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs Ronson.”
She added: “Tonight shows the power of a woman – to underestimate that is to underestimate the world.” (Sun)
No shit. Don’t underestimate a woman’s ability to fuck up EVERYTHING! Don’t believe me lets look at the ‘happy couple’.
…
Seriously this chick looks more like a dude than Hilary Swank (and that’s saying something).
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any problem with lezzies marrying (especially if they’re really hot like in all those porn movies). But this? Lindsay’s had more pipe laid out than Super Mario World! She’s had more protein shakes than a team of bodybuilders! She’s been plowed more times than Kansas! She’s…
..you get the idea.
My guess is that Ronson is also behind Lindsay’s nixing of the $700 grand offer for the Playboy shoot (which I didn’t write about cause it’s depressing). This is the same woman who’s shown her Roast Beef Sandwich for free a few times already. Samantha obviously has her by the lips. Bitch.
Lindsay, sweetie, pookums, you just need a dick. You’ve been so long without one you’ve obviously forgotten what one’s like. Call me, okay? I’m worried. 
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