CelebrityFIST!

Pantpantpantpant Dita von Teese drooldrooldrooldrool hot yumyumyum Man Magazine pantpantpantpantpant…

(more…)

I think it’s great when two people find love in the crazy, mad world; regardless of if they are the opposite sex or not.  It truly is a miracle…

Okay - now that I got the necessary sentimental shit out of the way, Jodie Foster - after years of flat out refusing to discuss her sexuality finally came out of the closet in an almost off-hand manner.

Jodie Foster has finally come out as a lesbian to pay tribute to her girlfriend of 14 years.  The fiercely-private actress has always resolutely refused to discuss her sexuality.  But after winning an award at a Women in Entertainment breakfast, she broke her taboo to thank “my beautiful Cydney” (pictured above-UC).

Her emotional speech brought tears to the eyes of some of her audience at the Beverly Hills Hotel, revealing a vulnerable side to a star who has long resisted calls from gay rights activists to clarify her personal life.

Miss Foster, 44, a double Oscar winner, praised her film producer partner Cydney Bernard “who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss”. (source)

Awww, isn’t that special?  Almost makes me not want throw in an additional snark….

Then, I saw this pic and my first thought was Jodi’s girlfriend looks like Anthony Hopkins.  The second thought I had was if they played “Silence Of The Lambs” games — “I’m going to eat you with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

I’m not gonna lie - I’ve never been into Jenna Jameson (pun intended).  I’ve always preferred the “classic stars” like Nina Hartley or even more current ones like Asia Carrera and Tera Patrick.  However, most of the current lot is indistinguishable from each other - looking nearly identical to one another.  That may be the only explanation why Jenna looks like one of those “Real Dolls” you see on the Internet going for a few grand:  almost life-like.  Well, Jenna looks almost life-like and yet she can’t seem to pull it off.  If I saw her and she started talking to me, I’d probably feel like Andrew McCarthy in “Mannequin”.  Shit, then I’d have to listen to atrocious Jefferson Starship song.

…. Hmmm, I think I prefer my hand over her at this point.  At least I know my hand is real.

I’ll let the caption underneath the photo explain this for me (from Wire Image):

Actor George Clooney (R) with fiance Sarah Larson pose backstage before attending a press conference for the movie ‘Michael Clayton’ during day one of the 4th Dubai International Film Festival on December 9, 2007 in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.”

Fiance? … FIANCE!?!?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

After all the endless poon you’ve been getting, you decide you wanna get married to someone half your age?  So what if she’s hot, probably great in bed, and worships you, she…

Um, I forgot where I was going with this.  Well.  Er, carry on.

Oh, if only this was real!  :(

(”Yeah baby, I’ll rock your world with my 15 charisma and +4 mithril dildo!”)

…

Man, that’s sad even for me.

***************

Bonus SD:

Someone has WAY too much time on their hands in Hazelton, Pennsylvania.

I always wonder why has-been “stars” like Lisa Kudrow are allowed to go to a premiere like the one for “PS I Love You“.  Now young celebs, it’s understandable - they sucked some dick or took it in the ass to get there.  In Kudrow’s case, I just can’t see someone subjecting their dick to that.  Either way, you gotta love that Hollywood sneer smile!

No, I never liked “Friends” either.  Gee, whatever gave it away?

Well, it appears Britney Spears will finally give her deposition in the case surrounding her custody battle with Kevin Federline.  This could easily be the most uncomfortable question and answer session since Mark Maguire dodged a zillion steroid questions at Capitol Hill, since K-Fed’s lawyers will be asking the questions (dun-dun-DUN!):

A source close to the case expects Spears’s testimony, taken under oath, to last no more than one day. It begins in the morning at the offices of Federline’s attorneys.

It’s expected that Spears will be grilled about her past drug and alcohol use, her alleged failure to follow court orders, and anything that reveals whether she’s a fit mother.

“A deposition can be emotionally draining, because Kevin’s lawyer can ask very personal questions about her relationship with her kids – and she’ll be under oath,” explains L.A. family lawyer Lynn Soodik, who’s not involved with the case.

Federline’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, has already completed a number of depositions of former Spears associates, including pal Alli Sims, former manager Larry Rudolph, and former bodyguard Daimon Shippen.

Spears will be accompanied to the appointment by her legal team lead by Sorrell Trope, and a court stenographer will also be present.

I don’t know about you but I’m expecting her to arrive with a bottle of Jack in one hand and pack of Marlboros in the other defending her ability to be a “good mother” to her pets boys and then asking if it’s okay if she eats during the proceedings - cuz “answ’rin’ kweshuns duz make a gurl MIGHTEE hungree!”