CelebrityFIST!

Ah, if there is ever a person who deserves to take the Kurt Cobain exit, its Amy Winehouse.

“But-but-but, Unca Chaoz - she has a disease, she’s sick!”  Yes, and what do we do with sick animals?  >BANG!<

We’re not that lucky though - shit Pete Doherty, Britney, and Paris are all still breathing.  However, she definitely is going down fast judging by that lovely bag of “baking soda” she carries with her.

Sniff, sniff, Amy.  Sniff, sniff.

I remember when I was 18. I was an idealist, too. I thought I could save the world, heal the sick, walk on water - the usual stuff. I never actually tried to do that stuff but, hey I was 18! I needed to party first!

Which brings me to Unca’s little obsession - Hayden Panties-rarely. She actually is making an effort and in the process is slowly pissing off the Japanese. It starts with this letter sent to Hayden’s people:

While respecting Ms. Panettierre’s personal feelings towards dolphins and her commitment to travel to Taiji to make her protest, I hope that your viewers will be reassured by the fact that Japan is carefully managing marine living resources for the future. The government’s fisheries policies are based on scientific information and take into account the opinions of the public.

Sincerely,

Takumi Fukuda
Fisheries Attache, Embassy of Japan
Washington, DC

End of story? Not for “SuperBuffy”. Read her rather terse response after the jump. (more…)

Madonna does not like to be out of the limelight too long.  As far as she’s concerned it’s been too much Britney, Lindsay, Paris, etc.  She no doubt wants to remind them who the original “material whore girl” is.  In this case, the material in question is orphans:

Madonna has reportedly sent a team to Malawi to find her a new adopted daughter.

The ‘Material Girl’ singer - who adopted two-year-old son David Banda from the African country last year - is said to be desperate to find a little girl to bring home.

Madonna - who also has an 11-year-old daughter Lourdes and a seven-year-old son Rocco - reportedly told staff: “Don’t rest until you’ve found me my princess!”

She has sent her aides to search the Malawi region of Salima for an orphan and has told them to draw up a shortlist of nine children whose families won’t block the adoption.

Yeah, nothing worse than trying to adopt a kid and finding out their family doesn’t want a filthy rich, attention-starved whore to take their kid away.

Hey, Madge - here’s an original:  adopt kids from the orphanage down the street!  I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.  Or maybe you prefer African kids so that way they’ worship you as the “White Goddess” you so desperately though you were when you were younger?