CelebrityFIST!

It seems that she’s had a bit of trouble since she was kicked off the show.  Most recently she was arrested in Tampa for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, violating probation (for a previous charge) and obstruction of justice.  The last apparently because she told the arresting officer “I’ll suck your dick if you don’t take me to jail.”

Now the cop (and everyone else) wlll find out what he missed out on:

[The sex tape] which show the wayward warbler in various sexual poses, in what looks like a cheap hotel room. Sources tell TMZ that the video, shot sometime this year, will be released before the end of the year, and just in time for the kickoff of “Idol’s” seventh season. (source)

Judging from the picture above, I have a feeling she’s been doing a lot of sucking up for awhile now.

I don’t get Hayden Pannetiere.  She’s an actress, she’s a wanted criminal in Japan, she’s barely legal, and she’s hot as hell…

So why does she insist on putting on the reddest lipstick this side of a Thai whore house?

Here she is at the GQ Man Of The Year Party (obviously I was missed on the ballot since I wasn’t invited).  I find it interesting that Hayden’s best pic here is the one with Rumer Willis (who apparently felt the need to flash bra just to get into the pic).  It just goes to prove that ugly women do make other women prettier.

In a somewhat frightening development, Hayden has been pictured with Rumer Wilis on more than one occassion.  Nothing obvious, BUT….

….nah, right?

Yeah, this is getting silly now.

As you may be aware of, Jennifer Love Hewitt has made her ass a cause celebre for some in Hollywood (who apparently have nothing better to do either).  It all started when some of us saw JLH’s ass in a bikini and didn’t like what we saw, so we called her out on it.

It appears we underestimated her.

Soon after getting engaged (and no doubt getting a peptalk from her whipped dude fiance), JLH went on the offensive.  First she blogged this little retort on her MySpace:

This is the last time I will address this subject.
I’ve sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women’s bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I’m not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image.
A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful. What I should be doing is celebrating some of the best days of my life and my engagement to the man of my dreams, instead of having to deal with photographers taking invasive pictures from bad angles. I know what I look like, and so do my friends and family. And like all women out there should, I love my body.
To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong. Xoxo JLH

How sweet.  Even little “hugs and kisses” at the end.

Now she’s brought in the reserves in the form of a “You Go Girl!” sisterhood formed by various celebs:

Petra Nemcova: “There are different angles that everybody, even if you’re in great shape, can look bad in a photograph. And printing these images is definitely influencing people’s minds… It’s definitely good that she spoke out.”

Rosario Dawson: “They’ll make a whole story about it if someone gains 5 lbs. … It think there is a huge obsession with size-zero jeans, and it’s just really scary.  It makes me really nervous, because I don’t know how in the world we’re supposed to be that thin unless we’re totally starving and drugging up.”

Anne Hathaway: “I don’t think women should only be defined by their bodies and their weight. It’s a cycle we’ve been in for some time, and I don’t really like it.” (source)

Wow, after all that I feel almost humbled.  To get talked down to by 3 of the hottest “chicks” in Hollywood gets me kinda … excited.  But then again, I’ve always been a sick fuck.

So, I’d like to end this post by apologizing to Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Ms. Hewitt - I’m sorry you have such a fat ass.  :o